Clergy Sexual Abuse and the Healing Process
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Like a Welcome Flood

8/8/2018

 
Picture
“I was fourteen when they kicked me out. They said I wasn't very smart and had a bad attitude.
I always thought I would have made a good priest.”
                                                                      -- A former St. Anthony’s seminarian and clergy abuse survivor
           At Saints Simon and Jude church (SSJ) in Huntington Beach, California, practically every unpleasant encounter that parishioners have experienced with their pastor, friar Daniel Barica, has been a replay of his time spent as pastor at Mission Santa Barbara. This is a disturbing pattern for a minister responsible for the spiritual well-being of almost 4000 families. But Barica is no shepherd of the church. He is a wolf preying on his flock and thriving in a fearful environment he creates and controls. I find this personally offensive and unnervingly similar to the way my own offender operated more than fifty years ago. As a survivor of clergy sexual abuse, I feel I’m being victimized by the Franciscans once again as they continue to protect this priest and do nothing to stop him from causing harm.  
          It’s no longer enough to demand that Barica be removed from SSJ. He must also be removed from public ministry and placed in a Franciscan aftercare program similar to the one used for friars who sexually offend. Barica must not be allowed to minister to any congregation. He must not be moved to another parish where his abusive behavior will remain unchallenged. Anything less is a slap in the face of anyone who has ever been hurt and lied to by the Franciscans.
 
          When friars like Barica go off the rails in the Province of St. Barbara there are established guidelines and protocols in place to deal with them. Such programs are not meant solely for priests who are sexual molesters. Those suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, anger issues, etc., have all found their way into a system designed to help them deal with their problems while the leadership protects the public and their own interests.
 
A Clear Power Imbalance
 
          In a recent SSJ Sunday bulletin (August 5), Barica made an astounding attempt to defend his behavior by ignoring the anger and fear in his parish and failing to acknowledge that he was the cause of it all. It was a hire-wire act worthy of a reckless man who believes he will never fall. Astonishingly, he redirected the criticism by attacking those who were exercising their first amendment right—a right he apparently believes should only be reserved for those who agree with him. Like many offenders who shift blame and refuse to accept responsibility, Barica struggled to convince his congregation that the real victim was him. Playing the martyr in his own bizarre passion play, he tried to create sympathy by nailing himself to a cross and comparing himself to Jesus Christ.
 
          Abusers are predators. Arguments that attempt to differentiate and separate the abusive behavior of a priest like Barica from the behavior of a priest who sexually molested young boys are not only naïve but serious miscalculations. Abuse of any kind by any priest is rooted in a clear power imbalance. The absence of sexual assault does not diminish or negate other forms of abuse; one type of cruelty often leads to another. In my case and the cases of many others reviewed by the Franciscans’ Independent Board of Inquiry in 1990, there were no criminal distinctions made between pats on the rear, hernia exams, sponge baths, fondling of genitals, or sodomy. If a friar made inappropriate physical contact with a minor in any way, that action constituted sexual abuse. This included language that was off-color, suggestive, and specific to a boy's personal hygiene.   
 
          The abuses that Barica has perpetrated on members of his own congregation, staff, school
personnel, and students have been documented by dozens of survivors who have come forward. Many sit in the same pews with us. Some suffer in silence. Others share their stories, stand up to their oppressor, or simply refuse to be quiet any longer. Those at SSJ who have been hurt by Barica are engaged in this struggle. Anonymous or not, they strive to be heard, ask to be believed, and most importantly need to be supported by their community.    
 
          It’s not difficult to understand why so many SSJ survivors choose to remain anonymous. They are fearful for themselves, their families, and their jobs. Those who have children enrolled in the parish school are afraid their sons and daughters will become the victims of Barica’s wrath. When a vengeful pastor has the power to taunt, humiliate, and ostracize people from their own church as Barica does, no one wants to be his target. In the aforementioned Sunday bulletin of August 5, Barica crossed yet another line when he shamefully smeared these unidentified members of his congregation. Sounding like a crazed imitation of an outraged biblical prophet, Barica raised his staff and roared: “It is the evil work of cowardly ‘snipers’ who shoot from behind the anonymity of the internet.”
 
          In uttering these words Barica revealed himself to be the sanctimonious fraud he is. Similar words (and worse) were used against me and other survivors when we first came forward with allegations of abuse. Many of us chose to be anonymous and were not believed until the numbers of victims were far too overwhelming to ignore. Anonymity is often the safest defense against clerics like Barica who can’t be trusted. His ignorance of what constitutes valor could fill a cathedral. The great polemicist George Bernard Shaw said it best when he wrote: “You cannot be a hero without being a coward.” One has to be scared in order to be courageous—a quality possessed by every SSJ survivor who has spoken out against Daniel Barica.   
 
Persuading the Press to Cover This Story
 
          Many of the SSJ incidents are the same ones people complained about when Barica was assigned to his previous parish: rude and offensive outbursts that belittle and demean; contrarian positions on ideas that don’t originate with him; bullying parishioners and staff to get his way; dictatorial dismissals and alienation of those who challenge him; a smug sense of superiority and entitlement; the use of fear and intimidation to silence his critics; the questionable handling of church funds for personal use; and a bizarre urge to talk about his sexual energy from the pulpit.
 
          The major difference between SSJ and Mission Santa Barbara is that SSJ has an elementary school attached to it—a circumstance that makes an unsafe situation all the more urgent.   
 
          Since posting my last column (July 12) which also addressed this problem, more than 120 comments have been left by angry and confused parishioners demanding change. We can debate the effectiveness of comments left on any blog until we agree to disagree. But the central question remains: What can SSJ parishioners do to bring about an end to this pastor’s tyranny?

          Here are five possible answers: 1) Sound an immediate alarm and raise public awareness of the risks and safety concerns for children at SSJ elementary school; 2) Begin a thorough and concerted campaign to withhold donations and funds from Barica and the Diocese of Orange; 3) Contact the Franciscan Office of Pastoral Outreach and go on record; 4) Consult an experienced attorney to discuss legal options, and/or file a complaint with the Orange County district attorney’s office; 5) Persuade the local press to cover this story.
 
          This last point is crucial. A vigilant press is needed more than ever. The community of SSJ must find ways to mobilize and work together to induce the Orange County Register and the Los Angeles Times to investigate what’s been happening at the parish. In Santa Barbara, the community’s stellar newsweekly, the Santa Barbara Independent, has kept the Franciscans on their watch list since the St. Anthony’s Seminary sex abuse scandal first came to light in 1990. If there’s one thing the friars and the church fear more than anything else it’s the publicity that a bright spotlight would shine on any kind of suspected clergy abuse.
 
A False and Insidious Narrative
 
          I was living and working at Mission Santa Barbara when Barica assumed the duties of pastor there in 2009. SafeNet had an office on the Mission grounds. His assignment was a mistake from the very beginning. Barica made it clear that he would be the first and last word on any matter relating to the parish. In the beginning, people cut him some slack. He was new and he was their pastor. But as time went on, Barica’s complete disregard for people’s opinions and feelings shocked those who had, in the past, worked collaboratively with their pastors. The parish council, as well as the Mission advisory board, became feckless groups that failed in every respect to keep this priest honest.
 
          Barica needed cover and he was in good company at the Mission. He served at a time when the community of friars there was being run by some of the most incompetent and hostile Franciscans this province has ever seen: former guardian Richard McManus, former vicar guardian Angelo Cardinale, and former administrator Brian Trawick. McManus and Cardinale are reportedly still living at the Mission; Trawick has been shipped off to province headquarters in Oakland where some say he is undergoing a battery of tests to determine if he is, indeed, capable of understanding complete sentences.
 
          In the end, Barica became a dumpster fire that these and other friars not only didn’t try to put out, but poured gasoline on instead.
 
          It’s painful to comprehend at times, but Barica and the others have often taken issue with the clergy abuse scandal. They begrudgingly acknowledge that some bad things may have happened to young boys long ago. But they have also created a false and insidious narrative that poses such questions as, “Who’s to really know what happened for sure?” and “How can anyone ever really learn the truth?”  To them, if the history of clergy abuse was condensed to a single book it would sit on an empty shelf inside a boarded up room where it would go unread. The scandal has no bearing on the present or their place in it. To merely bring up the subject in their presence is like sitting with a toddler who prefers to poke his own eye out with a sharp stick rather than eat his vegetables. 

          When Barica was pastor in Santa Barbara he made no attempt to assist those in his community who were struggling with the abuses perpetrated by members of his own order. That’s a terrible fact. He even thwarted the efforts of those who were trying to help. It was the horror and height of irony to watch a priest mock his own anguished parishioners. He resisted even the simplest requests, such as SafeNet’s attempt to place a notice in the Sunday bulletin informing parishioners that the Franciscans' Office of Pastoral Outreach was available to help them heal and recover.
 
          Despite clear policies laid out by the bishops and the province, these renegade friars in Santa Barbara took it upon themselves to declare the end of the clergy abuse crisis. Barica literally announced this rubbish from the pulpit when he exhorted his congregation to get over their suffering and move on.
 
          Just about everything I have related here has been documented either on SafeNet's website or on this blog. Letters were sent to the proper authorities. Phone calls were made. Face-to-face meetings were arranged. And nothing came of it—nothing, that is, until enough complaints by people at Mission Santa Barbara pressured the Franciscans to remove Barica or face the real possibility of litigation and a barrage of horribly bad publicity. And lest anyone forget: this is exactly how the friars were forced to accept and deal with the clergy abuse scandal at St. Anthony’s Seminary in the early nineties. Had it not been for community members and survivors who kept pressing them to do something, it's doubtful the Franciscans would have initiated an investigation on their own.  
 
Clinging to an Uncertain Future
 
          In 2012, the Province of St. Barbara entered into dialogue with the five other Franciscan provinces in the United States to explore the possibility of unifying into one community. On May 30 of this year the friars of each of the six provinces voted to support the formation of this new organization. If approved by Rome it will consist of nearly 1,000 friars, be headquartered in a yet-to-be-determined location, and be launched officially in late 2022.
 
          This is happening, in particular, because the Province of St. Barbara is at a critical juncture in its survival. Its economic life is clinging to an uncertain future. By joining forces and pooling resources, the friars in this province will find themselves in a much more favorable financial position. But they and others will also be exposed to much greater scrutiny and liability. The Franciscans will inherit each other’s problems, including any old and new scandals. The sins and crimes of the few will reflect on every friar from coast to coast. Barica, and others like him, will become an albatross around every Franciscan’s neck no matter where they are.  
 
          I avoid offering advice. When pressed I try to determine what I would do in a similar situation. Out of that may come suggestions with the understanding that people should look deep within themselves for answers. If I can propose anything to the parishioners of SSJ at this time it would be this: continue to resist the autocracy of Barica and his kind. Write, phone, email, text, tweet, leave a message. Go on record. Let your voice be heard. Each individual can make a difference at SSJ. Build your support groups. Sustain your determined efforts with grace, right intention, and the strength to stand together. Living the gospel may not always be the easiest path to follow, or even the most practical, but truth cannot be deprived.

          Real change, the kind that creates epiphanies, doesn’t come from bullies like Barica. It doesn’t originate with a diocese or a religious order that preaches the gospel but fails to practice it when it's needed most. Like the light at the end of a dark tunnel, change occurs when people begin to move toward it. It takes the will and the courage to do what is right and to cause change to course over us like a welcome flood.   
 
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NOTE: In separate comments that I left under last month’s post, I provided contact information for the Franciscans’ Office of Pastoral Outreach along with a list of editors and reporters for the Orange County Register. I’m publishing both again here along with contact information for three reporters at the Los Angeles Times. One reporter for the Times (Anh Do) covers Orange County. The other two Times reporters (Jaweed Kaleem and Louis Sahagun) write about religion issues.
I’m also including the contact information for the local offices of the Orange County District Attorney.
 
 
FRANCISCAN OFFICE OF PASTORAL OUTREACH 

Angelica Jochim, MFT
Pastoral Outreach Coordinator
Franciscan Office of Pastoral Outreach
PO Box 1137
Sebastopol, CA 95473
1 800 770-8013
angelica.jochim@gmail.com
 
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THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER (OCR)

Reporter / Covering Huntington Beach: 

Susan Goulding
714-796-6766
sgoulding@scng.com

Editors / Crime and Public Safety: 

Mark Evans, 714-796-4957, markevans@scng.com
Steve Green, 714-796-7714, stgreen@scng.com
Jim Radcliffe, 714-796-7985, jradcliffe@scng.com

Reporters / Crime and Public Safety:

Sean Emery, 714-642-6487, semery@scng.com, 
Twitter: @semeryOCR
Alma Fausto, 714-796-7865, afausto@scng.com, 
Twitter: @AlmaFausto1

Editor / Watchdog Investigations & Reporting 
on Public Officials and Institutions:

Frank Suraci, 310-543-6621, fsuraci@scng.com

Reporters / Watchdog Investigations & Reporting 
on Public Officials and Institutions:

Jason Henry, 626-544-0871, jhenry@scng.com
Joe Nelson, 909-386-3874, jnelson@scng.com
Tony Saavedra, 714-796-6930, tsaavedra@scng.com
Scott Schwebke, 714-796-7767, sschwebke@scng.com
Teri Sforza, 714-796-6910, tsforza@scng.com
Beau Yarbrough, 909-483-9376 byarbrough@scng.com 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
THE LOS ANGELES TIMES
 
Reporter / covering Orange County:
Anh Do
Email: anh.do@latimes.com
https://twitter.com/@newsterrier
 
Reporter / covering religion issues
Jaweed Kaleem  
Email: jaweed.kaleem@latimes.com
https://twitter.com/@jaweedkaleem
 
Reporter / covering religion issues
Louis Sahagun
Email: louis.sahagun@latimes.com
https://twitter.com/@louissahagun
 
--------------------------------------------------------------
 
ORANGE COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY’S OFFICES
http://orangecountyda.org
 
Orange County District Attorney
Main Office
401 Civic Center Drive West
Santa Ana, CA 92701
714-834-3600
 
Orange County District Attorney
Central Justice Center
700 Civic Center Drive West
Santa Ana, CA 92701
714-834-3952
 
Orange County District Attorney
Harbor Justice Center
4601 Jamboree Road
Newport Beach, CA 92660
949-476-4650
 
Orange County District Attorney
North Justice Center
1275 North Berkeley Avenue
Fullerton, CA 92832
714.773.4480
 
Orange County District Attorney
West Justice Center
8141 13th Street
Westminster, CA 92683
714-896-7261

----------------------------------------------------------
Cathy Bryant link
8/9/2018 02:23:12 am

The poor parishioners! I hope that this man is removed from his post as soon as possible. The suffering he causes will spread like ripples through the community until he is prevented from having authority.

Mary P.
8/9/2018 07:22:41 am

I was just wondering can’t the diocese see that this man is not a good example for our children? His bulletin and homilies have been nothing but complaining and yet he criticizes people who complain. I don’t see forgiveness in this man. All I see is bitterness and anger.

Paul Fericano link
8/9/2018 01:22:27 pm

There is an arrogant logic at work within the hierarchy of the church. Its been there from the beginning. It teeters on the precipice of a failed policy which basically states that the church does not take instructions from the laity. No matter what is being said to persuade people to keep filling the pews and opening their wallets, the public face of the church is one that does not tolerate dissent, discussion, and debate when it comes to allegations of church wrongdoing.

One need only study the volumes of complaints, civil lawsuits, and personal testimonies of thousands of survivors of clergy sexual abuse and their family members to realize how, for years and years, they sounded the alarm only to see themselves ignored, shunned, and, in many cases, re traumatized by the church and its attorneys.

Until it finds itself threatened with civil litigation and unwanted publicity from a free press, the church will continue to operate as if the laity are disgruntled children who should be seen and not heard.

Renee
8/9/2018 03:03:07 pm

What a sad state of affairs. I left the church many years ago because of the lack of accountability and concrete measures to stop the abuse. I would suggest that the parishioners find a new church to attend and empty the pews and until the diocese removes this priest! Great article Paul!

Festival volunteer
8/9/2018 05:58:13 pm

The CBS Morning Show had a story this morning about the grand jury of Pennsylvania investigating 300 priests in 6 dioceses. I knew there was a big problem but 300 in just one state?? I thought priest abuse was under control?? The survivors they interviewed all said they are no longer practicing Catholics. They are upset about the cover up of the church. So lucky us now we have our own priest abuser being covered up we need to move him somewhere else. This story says Paul Fericano lived at Mission in Santa Barbara so he personally knows what those people went through with Barica. Our other priests did not tell us they just kept it secret and lied to us?? Paul says one way is to file a complaint with the District Attorney. TMI for his talk about sex energy to our kids, that can’t be legal. We already lost too many of them that don’t go to church because of him. We can’t lose any more.

School Family
8/12/2018 09:40:04 am

The Maryland football coach was placed on leave yesterday while the school investigates claims he verbally abused and humiliated players. Their athletic director said he is reviewing the culture of the program. I sure hope the diocese reviews the culture here at SSJ and puts Fr Daniel on leave. Its bad enough on a college team but can’t be tolerated one bit at a church.

School mom
8/12/2018 07:19:14 pm

I am not happy with father Daniel at all. He destroyed the community and the school’s reputation. I met with the new principal as well and all I can say is that for him to hire this woman he must really hate the school. The new security system they’re talking about won’t protect the kids from the homeless roaming around during recess or the elderly looking for parking and not paying attention to the students in the playground, we need a gate to separate the school from the church if they really want to protect our kids.

john
8/13/2018 07:46:08 am

Whatever security upgrade is planned should look at the entire site, as it clearly an open campus. Anyone walking on Magnolia has direct access to any of the classrooms there. Those classrooms and children are very vulnerable. Anyone can walk around during recess or lunch.
The parking lot re-design that cost millions, should have addressed the security of the site. Waste of money. We all need to stop donating to SSJ.

Alex
8/14/2018 11:09:33 am

A church is supposed to be loving and caring. It makes no sense why neither the Franciscans nor the diocese respond to abuse and harassment complaints about Father Barica like universities and corporations must. The normal procedure is to relieve the offender of duties while an investigation is ongoing. Some kind of statement from the church is appropriate, even to deny everything. But after reading about all the complaints about him in Los Angeles, Santa Barbara and Huntington Beach, there is still no such statement. When the priest abuse scandal broke, the church promised us they would be transparent about their priests. Not addressing complaints about Father Barica’s inappropriate behavior is repeating the pattern of cover up from the past.

Paul Fericano link
8/14/2018 12:19:25 pm

BREAKING NEWS...

"Catholic Church Covered Up Child Sex Abuse in Pennsylvania for Decades, Grand Jury Says"

Read the story at: https://tinyurl.com/NYTimes-clergyabuse

The time is now to get the entire SSJ story in the public eye. Contact: reporters at the L.A. Times and O.C. Register.

Also contact the local district attorney's office.

Complete contact info listed below.

NOTE: Three reporters have thus far shown an interest in what is going on at SSJ. They need to talk to parishioners. Anonymity for those who request it. The press protects its sources.

ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

1. Scott Schwebke, 714-796-7767, sschwebke@scng.com

THE LOS ANGELES TIMES

2. Anh Do / Reporter / covering Orange County:
Email: anh.do@latimes.com
https://twitter.com/@newsterrier

3. Jaweed Kaleem / Reporter / covering religion issues
Email: jaweed.kaleem@latimes.com
https://twitter.com/@jaweedkaleem

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Other Press Contacts:

THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER (OCR)

Reporter / Covering Huntington Beach:

Susan Goulding
714-796-6766
sgoulding@scng.com

Editors / Crime and Public Safety:

Mark Evans, 714-796-4957, markevans@scng.com
Steve Green, 714-796-7714, stgreen@scng.com
Jim Radcliffe, 714-796-7985, jradcliffe@scng.com

Reporters / Crime and Public Safety:

Sean Emery, 714-642-6487, semery@scng.com,
Twitter: @semeryOCR
Alma Fausto, 714-796-7865, afausto@scng.com,
Twitter: @AlmaFausto1

Editor / Watchdog Investigations & Reporting
on Public Officials and Institutions:

Frank Suraci, 310-543-6621, fsuraci@scng.com

Reporters / Watchdog Investigations & Reporting
on Public Officials and Institutions:

Jason Henry, 626-544-0871, jhenry@scng.com
Joe Nelson, 909-386-3874, jnelson@scng.com
Tony Saavedra, 714-796-6930, tsaavedra@scng.com
Teri Sforza, 714-796-6910, tsforza@scng.com
Beau Yarbrough, 909-483-9376 byarbrough@scng.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE LOS ANGELES TIMES

Reporter / covering religion issues
Louis Sahagun
Email: louis.sahagun@latimes.com
https://twitter.com/@louissahagun

--------------------------------------------------------------

ORANGE COUNTY DISTRICT ATTORNEY’S OFFICES
http://orangecountyda.org

Orange County District Attorney
Main Office
401 Civic Center Drive West
Santa Ana, CA 92701
714-834-3600

Orange County District Attorney
Central Justice Center
700 Civic Center Drive West
Santa Ana, CA 92701
714-834-3952

Orange County District Attorney
Harbor Justice Center
4601 Jamboree Road
Newport Beach, CA 92660
949-476-4650

Orange County District Attorney
North Justice Center
1275 North Berkeley Avenue
Fullerton, CA 92832
714.773.4480

Orange County District Attorney
West Justice Center
8141 13th Street
Westminster, CA 92683
714-896-7261

----------------------------------------------------------

In the mens club
8/15/2018 06:59:22 pm

When we see this listed in one spot it really makes us question how the Franciscans and the diocese ignore all this for so long. We need a mens club resolution about how to deal with this.
This is like to the news about the priest abuse in Pennsylvania. An Associated Press article today called what happened there a “conspiracy of silence” by the church. It said how individual leaders of the church largely escaped public accountability.
We have our own conspiracy of silence going on. The diocese not addressing years of complaints about Fr Daniel is allowing him to escape accountability at SSJ.
Staying silent is the opposite of Bishop Vann’s promises posted on the OC diocese website called the “Covenant with the Faithful”
His covenant promises the diocese “will work collaboratively with all members of the Diocese to promote an atmosphere of openness and trust.”
His covenant promises to be “consistent and transparent in our communications with the Catholics of our Diocese.”
Bishop Vann can’t do the opposite of his promises. He must be open and transparent with us by posting all the complaints he received about Fr Daniel so we can read them. The Franciscans also need to post the complaints they got so we can read why Fr Daniel’s last 2 Franciscan congregations wanted him removed.
Bishop Vann needs to tell us about Fr Daniel stealing money. If he did not steal then Vann should be open with us and tell us no money is missing. But I doubt he will do this if he knows there are named witnesses that prove he is lying to us.
Bishop Vann needs to tell us about Fr Daniel’s affair with a school mom told by Heather Blake. If there is no affair, Vann should just tell us. He probably won’t do this either if people can prove the affair is real.
Then the covenant says “We will restore confidence in our role as Bishops.” Not answering complaints makes it much worse. Start getting our trust back by being open and transparent about Fr Daniel. And do not dismiss anonymous complaints as not being valid.
We are afraid of retaliation by Fr Daniel. He already threatened to not let us serve alcohol at our monthly meetings. Guys would just quit helping out at SSJ events. The idea that we and other parishioners have fear of their own priest retaliating against us is enough reason to relocate him.

Insurance agent parishioner
8/16/2018 02:47:49 pm

The Men’s Club serves alcohol at their meetings? Aren’t they held on campus? Today this is not just unacceptable for our society, it is a big risk. I am a licensed insurance agent and unless the church specifically has a liquor liability endorsement on their policy, there is no coverage for anything that happens as a result of serving alcohol. I do not handle the church’s insurance but I know public school districts employ Risk Managers who are responsible for securing proper insurance and alcohol is banned for a reason. Even if SSJ has a liquor liability endorsement, the policy limit will still apply. In other words, if someone has a couple of drinks and leaves a meeting or the festival, drives over the legal limit and injures or kills someone in an accident, lawyers will come after SSJ. A $5 million liquor liability limit does not cover a $25 million wrongful death award. The donors would have to pay the difference. If the Men’s Club wants to drink at their meetings they should do it at someone’s private home but even that can create liability. I don’t know much liquor is sold are at the festival, but if it’s $25,000 and we can be sued for $25 million, no risk manager I know would agree to that risk.

Victoria S.
8/20/2018 08:44:13 pm

I was watching Meet the Press yesterday morning and the show ended by talking about the priest abuse. In case you missed it, 2 of the guests were Catholic. This should make everyone think about what is really happening at SSJ and why they continue to conceal Fr Daniel’s past. I am holding off my donations until they tell me, including if they spent a dime of my money on all these settlements.

I found the transcript of yesterday from their website. I copied and pasted it in its entirety. It is important to not turn our heads and keep ignoring and enabling what is going on in our own church. Something has to change here. It should not take a donation hit but that is how we approve or disapprove of their behavior. We can't wait for his affair partner or a child or even another priest to make a claim of abuse after all of his warning about sex energy he has. We can't wait until it is too late.

CHUCK TODD: Back now with End Game, you can't talk about American politics without talking about the role of religions in general and what's happening in the Catholic Church this week out of Pennsylvania is something that is going to have reverberations here. A Pennsylvania grand jury report released this week identified more than 1,000 child victims of more than 300 abusive Catholic priests across the state. That's just one state of Pennsylvania. This is in 2018. Never mind what we thought they made movies about in 2002 and things like that. I want to get everybody's reaction to this. Hugh, I want to start with you, but let me, this is, this is from the grand jury report on how the church had a playbook for concealing the truth. “Make sure to use euphemisms, never say ‘rape’; say ‘inappropriate contact’ or ‘boundary issues.’” Also in this playbook, “even if a priest is raping children, keep providing him housing and living expenses,” referring to the priests. “When a priest does have to be removed don't say why.” And “above all,” Hugh Hewitt, “don't tell the police.”

HUGH HEWITT: I'm an ashamed and grieving Catholic. And Donald Wuerl, who is the archbishop of Washington, should have resigned last week, should be fired today because he was part of a conspiracy to cover up a child porn ring run by priests in Pittsburgh. He is part of the problem--

CHUCK TODD: Think about what you just said there.

HUGH HEWITT: --that only--

(OVERTALK)

CHUCK TODD: Think about what you just said there.

HUGH HEWITT: I know, a child porn ring.

CHUCK TODD: Run by priests.

HUGH HEWITT: And child peddling and child trafficking and you can't read this without vomiting if you're a Catholic who believes in the church. I think Attorney General Shapiro, Democrat of Pennsylvania, has set a standard for 49 other attorneys generals because we cannot trust the Catholic-- we can trust some people: Chaput in Philadelphia, Gomez in Los Angeles. But you can't trust the church to do this.

CHUCK TODD: Wow.

HUGH HEWITT: You have to have, I think, 49 more Shapiro reports.

CHUCK TODD: Holy cow.

YAMICHE ALCINDOR: I would imagine that, and as someone who also is Catholic, when I think about this, I think of developing countries. And I think about the fact that Pennsylvania and maybe the 49 other states might get to this. But the Catholic Church has so many other roots in so many other places where priests are seen as not just the people that are at church but they're the people who run the schools, they're the people who run aid, they’re where families go to if you need your child to just have a role model if your father's not around. And when I was reading about the priest putting on crosses on children's necks to try to tell other priests this is a child who's vulnerable and has already been violated, I almost vomited. It was--

CHUCK TODD: Me too.

YAMICHE ALCINDOR: --it's terrifying.

CHUCK TODD: It's terrifying. Shivers.

EUGENE ROBINSON: Look, Pope Francis is going to have to do something and just--

CHUCK TODD:

What is the something?

EUGENE ROBINSON:

--something big and something serious.

CHUCK TODD:

What is it though?

EUGENE ROBINSON:

I don't know.

HUGH HEWITT:

I'll tell you what--

EUGENE ROBINSON:

But it better be big.

HUGH HEWITT:

--you fire Wuerl.

(OVERTALK)

CHUCK TODD:

But how does that begin?

HUGH HEWITT:

You send Gomez here.

EUGENE ROBINSON:

He's the pope. He can send a much clearer message I think than has been sent thus far to save the Catholic Church in this country. I mean, because there will be, I think, if not 49, there certainly will be--

CHUCK TODD:

Carol--

EUGENE ROBINSON:

--more Shapiro reports.

CHUCK TODD:

--here's what I think makes this so damning. Let me put up a thing, the first time an abuse scandal went public was 1985 in Louisiana. We've got the look the editor in chief that everybody loves here in Washington D.C., Marty Baron of TheWashington Post essentially made his name by uncovering th

Victoria S.
8/20/2018 08:46:21 pm

CHUCK TODD:

--here's what I think makes this so damning. Let me put up a thing, the first time an abuse scandal went public was 1985 in Louisiana. We've got the look the editor in chief that everybody loves here in Washington D.C., Marty Baron of TheWashington Post essentially made his name by uncovering the abuse that was taking place up in New England. And it's as if the Catholic Church each time just dealt with the problem and then tried to move on.

CAROL LEE:

It's a culture of secrecy. It's an institution that does not, that sees itself as its own kind of moral and governing and legal authority.And so, and it's massive. It's across the world. And what we've seen is that this kind of abuse is so widespread that were the church to try to tackle the issue, how would you even know? You don't know who is -- who is trying to solve the problem is actually part of the problem because it goes from the individuals who have committed abuses to those who have covered it up to people who are complicit in it. And it's all very widespread. And I think Pope Francis, you know, he doesn't have a great track record of dealing with these issues, particularly the one that came up in Chile. And he was silent. And it took them 48 hours to issue a statement. He still hasn't said anything. He didn't say anything this morning.

CHUCK TODD:

I'm curious of the larger societal impact. And this is an evangelical movement that has turned the other way on this president and what he's done morally, a Catholic Church that you can't trust morally with your kids even if you believe in them in your own beliefs. And what does that do to organized religion in this country?

YAMICHE ALCINDOR:

I think it makes people more and more wary of going into churches or going -- and looking at pastors for some sort of moral direction. For a long time--

CHUCK TODD:

But if not them, who?

YAMICHE ALCINDOR:

--I don't think there is. I think what the lesson here is that you really can't trust anyone. I should say this, I'll say it, I grew up with a grandmother who was very devoutly Catholic who also said priests are men and who also said be very careful of who you put your child with regardless of who that is. So if it's coaches, if it's teachers I think you need to understand and I think we all understand now that we need to be very, very more vigilant in--

HUGH HEWITT:

If I had more time though I could run down a list of good, great leaders in the church, Chaput, Gomez, but I can also tell you that this pope has failed. And if he sends someone like McElroy out of San Diego or one of these other old, white guys who've been part of the complicity of conspiracy and cover up for 40 years he will have failed in his most important challenge because those institutions are necessary.

CHUCK TODD:

I'm sorry to be talking about this on a Sunday morning of all mornings. Anyway, thank you all. And thank you for watching. As we say goodbye we're going to leave you with an uplifting moment. It's a moment from the great Aretha Franklin. And it's a performance at the Kennedy Center Honors in 2015 where she honored Carole King with her rendition of You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman. Enjoy and remember. We'll be back next week because if it's Sunday, it's Meet the Press.

School parent PT
8/23/2018 02:16:15 pm

With all the fallout in the church going on, does anyone know if the diocese is doing anything or what Fr Daniel is saying? I really don't want my kids exposed to him anymore.

OG Volunteer from the Glorious Days
8/24/2018 09:57:01 am

What a sad state of affairs when we as parents must tell our children to avoid the priests at their school and parish..

I have seen with my own eyes the damage the Daniel B. has wrecked in the SSJ community. No more long waiting lists at a high ranked Catholic school. Empty pews. Paid staff afraid to speak up...or speak at all. Most abhorrent is the anger and division he has instilled within the parish family. There are long time friends and neighbors who outwardly shun others because of his hateful rhetoric. Is this Being Christ? That you would let such a hate-filled & small man influence you to turn your back on friends and neighbors of 30+ years?

I volunteered at the school and parish for over 20 years because I loved my parish family. The priests at the time encouraged that love, as we all held each other in faith and respect. While no priest, or person, is perfect, the previous environment allowed everyone to come to the table.That is community. Daniel brings nothing to the communal table except lies, deceit, discord, hate, and anger. He is a pathetic man. While he may deserve my sympathy and prayers for his pain, he certainly does not deserve my respect as he continues to burn SSJ into the proverbial ground while encouraging hate and distrust among the community.

Love thy neighbors - new and old! We have not changed! Do not let Daniel infect you with his ego driven hate and anger.

SSJ mom M
8/24/2018 02:38:50 pm

Did anyone read the recent bulletin ? They went to Disneyland for their faculty meeting. I am speechless. They claim the enrollment is low and they are cutting costs by firing people and canceling school programs such as art and Spanish and yet they can afford to have a meeting at Disneyland????!!!!!! Really ???!!!!! So instead of taking our kids to Disneyland we are paying for O and Daniel ?! Couldn’t they have this lame meeting at Colman Hall ???? Oh and she says it wasn’t fun it was all Work, how cute !!!! This new sassy principal is for sure a princess.

SSJ mom O
8/24/2018 02:48:46 pm

I heard the diocese are conducting an investigation, is this true ? I heard it’s just for show and that they are telling people that they can’t stay anonymous, in other words they only want to know the names of whoever is complaining and then go back and claim that they found nothing against Father Daniel as if nothing happened.

Paul Fericano link
8/24/2018 04:00:25 pm

IMPORTANT NOTE:

No Catholic diocese can force anyone to reveal their identity in cases involving alleged abuse by a priest. Anonymity is a standard practice that every single U.S. diocese respects and abides by. Anything less by the church is an attempt to control the narrative and silence its critics.

Beware of arguments that claim only survivors of clergy sexual abuse can use anonymity when bringing allegations against a priest. These claims are false and misleading. Abuse is abuse. And SSJ parishioners are survivors of Daniel Barica's abusive behavior.

As such, you have the right to protect yourselves and your families from the likelihood of retaliation by the diocese, your pastor, and any of his supporters/enablers. Punishing those who disagree is a practice that stretches back decades, if not centuries.

I believe the diocese and Franciscans have lost all credibility and should not be trusted to launch any investigation of the SSJ crisis. It has been my experience to question any inquiry conducted by the church without the direct input and active participation of the laity as equal partners--including those who have been profoundly harmed.

At this point, it seems clear that the removal of Daniel Barica as pastor, facilitation by professionals for parishioner recovery and well being, and a totally independent study of the SSJ scandal is the only way for this or any other wounded community to begin to find peace and justice.

SSJ is your church. As the faithful in the pews you are a powerful presence. Continue to be seen and heard.



Mom E
8/24/2018 05:51:06 pm

Disneyland !!!! I read the bulletin and am pretty furious. We want Crystal back. She only went to Disneyland with the kids when they won the auction tickets other than that she had been sitting in her office and working. This new principal is getting on my nerves already.

Mens Club member
8/24/2018 07:19:55 pm

An open letter to the new SSJ Principal:

I have kept quiet since I wrote about what Mel Jurisich told us at a retreat about Fr Daniel. I did not like how they handled this back then. I received the email with the Sunday Bulletin today and I had to speak. What you wrote continues to mishandle and enable the situation. Stop protecting him. Please! It is easy to tell you want us to be complicit and keep our mouths shut. Did Fr Daniel review your message ad make changes? It sure sounds like he did.

We all know school enrollment is down and families stopped donating because of dictator Fr Daniel. He decides to cut staff and expenses and then takes everyone to such an expensive place like Disneyland? Knott’s Berry Farm is about half the price. The zoo or a museum are even less. The beach or Coleman Hall are free. The Mens Club could have hired a magician for you. What you both did is irresponsible. Ms. Pinkofsky never would have wasted so much money. We need an apology.

“I have witnessed His ability to make us believe anything is possible, even during the most trying of times.” We are a church. Why are we experiencing trying times in our church, and not love thy neighbor new and old like the OD Volunteer wrote?

There were no trying times until Fr Daniel came here. I miss the glorious days too when we would have coffee and donuts Saturday mornings behind Coleman Hall, our grandkids were not yelled at, they could play on the playground and we were allowed to host a visit by Santa every year. I feel more like his subject than his parishioner.

We need to better understand what you wrote so here are more questions:

“As we journey through this transition, Fr. Daniel and I are united in our vision of a collective community.”
1) Does this mean you agree to the past school firings like Russ Smith and Ms. Pinkofsky?
2) Should he be able to fire whoever he wants in the future?
3) Do you think St Francis would have fired a teacher?
4) Do you care if school enrollment goes down like he told the marketing committee?
5) If you are united in your vision, does that mean you agree that any other religion is a cult like he told all the parents in the Eucharistic meeting?
6) Before you were hired, did Fr Daniel or the diocese disclose any complaints to you about him from SSJ, Santa Barbara or the people in Los Angeles?
7) Is not telling you about all those past complaints giving you stress and anxiety?
8) Will you file a workers comp claim if the stress makes it impossible to do your job as you expected, including dealing with complaints?
9) Are you afraid of retaliation by him if you don’t appear to agree and enable his non-Catholic statements and behavior?

Then you talk about the staff having a “united front”.
10) Are you requiring everyone else on staff to be quiet enablers of his harassment and abuse too, even Mrs. C in the parish office who wrote how hated Fr Daniel is?
11) If you do not allow staff to speak their mind as a condition of continued employment, are you exposing SSJ to costly employee lawsuits from people who get fired for openly disagreeing with how he treats people and children?

“You might be wondering how you can best support our efforts. It is quite simple. Let’s become one. A large, supportive community is the best way to allow God to make all things possible at SSJ.”
12) Is what you are really saying - shut up and support him no matter how horrific he is?
13) You want us to be obedient Catholics and quiet enablers too so he can cause further damage at SSJ?
14) If he was a celebrity, politician or football coach would you tell us to keep quiet about his abusive behavior?

A few more questions:
15) How much did the Disneyland trip cost with food and parking? Did the school parents pay for it out of their tuition or did we the parishioners end up paying out of our donations?
16) Please look in the records because we want to know how many school children were transferred out of SSJ before 8th grade between 2012 when Fr Daniel arrived and today?
17) Right now, how many vacant spots are there in each grade at the school?
18) How many parishioners stopped donating between 2012 when Fr Daniel arrived and today?
19) Will 18 year olds still be expected to start donating on a regular basis if they want anything in return, like getting married in our church one day?
20) To be open and inviting, will you take down the fence around the playground? I hope you realize it is a dangerous trap if kids need to run from danger. The potential liability is great if a child cannot escape and something happens to him or her.
21) Did Fr Daniel write, review or edit your Sunday message?
Some of A.F.’s questions above I cut and pasted because these are important questions too:
22) Has Fr Daniel received anger management training, therapy, disciplinary action, or reprimand of any kind?
23) Has he had psychological or psychiatric appointments or tes

Mens Club member
8/24/2018 07:21:19 pm

23) Has he had psychological or psychiatric appointments or testing?
24) Has he been diagnosed as a narcissist or any other personality or mental disorder?
25) Or depression?
26) What kind of medications are prescribed to him?
27) How much alcohol does he consume?
28) Did Fr Daniel steal from our donations?
29) Is Fr Daniel having an affair per Heather Blake?

“Forming a collaborative union between school and parish is the bridge that will allow Him to be present for all of us throughout this school year and beyond.”

Collaborative union means you must be open and collaborate with us in the parish. So please reply on this blog with your answers so we can all read what you have to say. Or if you really want to be open, put your answers in next week’s bulletin.

Thank you for doing the right thing as a Catholic just like what Jesus would do - not what Fr Daniel orders you to do.

5th grade mom
8/24/2018 09:25:47 pm

Ms. Obannion: Really, Disneyland? I won’t call you doctor until you acknowledge and apologize for the hurt he has caused us. I can see through your eloquent Christian words about allowing God to handle the situation. Don’t brain wash us to stop because we will not until he is gone like they did at his other places. God is testing you right now. You have to report anything he has done that is not what you would expect of a priest. Talk to the teachers in a safe environment so they tell you what they have witnessed these last few years because I know first hand they are afraid to do it themselves. Include everything they say in your report. Keep them safe from retaliation.
God wants to also see if you will honor your promise in your email to everyone at the school when you said: “Our approach to parent communication is transparency and we promise to do our very best to keep the lines of communication clear and open.”
We are commanded by God to tell the truth and not sin. We want to know the truthful answers to all these questions too. Not answering is not being truthful either. Don’t hide anything any more. I hope you realize once school starts you have to look at us while you are talking. Don’t pretend there is no elephant in the room. I talk to many other moms and we all want to know what is going on. Honor you promise to be open with us. Then I will call you doctor.

The most expensive place on earth
8/25/2018 07:20:54 am

I am so mad at this new principal and fr Daniel. I couldn’t afford to take my daughters to Disneyland this summer and they went there for a meeting. This is disrespectful, inappropriate and unfair to all the parents who work hard to put their kids in this school and have to listen to their complaints on how low the enrollment is and their constant requests for donations. I miss Mrs Pinkofsky if she was still our principal there is no way on earth she would’ve allowed this to happen.

SSJ mom RS
8/25/2018 08:34:45 am

Edutainment. What a joke! Don't beg for any more donations or a minute of my time helping out in the classroom anymore. I am going to boycott anything extra. I never missed the auction but that is off the calendar too. What did your bonding time cost us? I have an idea. How about we start the first day of school with edutainment by taking all of us to Dland. With all we pay whats a few hundred per family? Or will there not be enough left over for dictator daniel to spend on more of his vacations he tries to pawn off as working photography trips. Vow of poverty? He sure lives the good life here. I would like to see what expense reimbursements he makes us pay for too.

Dad who is Mad.
8/25/2018 09:33:38 am

More accurate description is Dicktator Daniel.

Amy L.
8/27/2018 05:16:12 pm

Wow! I am glad another parent told me about this blog because there are 2 things Father Daniel said that upsets me still. My son and I were at his mass in October of 2015. During the sermon, he was pressuring the parents almost demanding that each family offer up one son to become a priest. It was very uncomfortable. I only have one son so I was offended by this. Then in early 2016 he said something much worse. My son’s confirmation group was together at 5 o’clock mass. During the sermon Father Daniel asked the congregation what a home was and someone said “love”. He then said these words I can’t get out of my brain “I am not talking about love in a hotel room.” My mouth hit the floor. The kids laughed at this thoroughly inappropriate remark. I am sure many other parents remember this too. This is a perverted statement made by a sick man. I pulled my son from SSJ school and stopped going to church there after that sermon.

SSJ family from the good old days
8/28/2018 01:28:27 pm

They should all resign! I heard about all this from another family we used to go here with. Our kids graduated from SSJ but they won’t set foot in that church anymore. They told us almost no one they graduated with goes there either. Your tuition will have to rise as attendance keeps dropping. The news about the Pope visit to Ireland last week said regular church goers there dropped from 90% to only 31%. Having a crank of a priest can't be good for attendance.
Talk to some graduates yourself about this. Our kids told us we wasted our money sending them to SSJ. They will not get married there and they won’t go to any reunions. We figure with all the fundraising, we paid SSJ around $160,000. We wish we had that money back. If we put it into their college funds they would not have such big student loans.
Families move into this area because the public schools are exceptional. With what I heard about kids leaving, yours probably already have SSJ friends that transferred to those schools. You still have time to register but you can transfer anytime after school starts too.
Here is some financial advice, put your kid’s tuition into their college fund instead so they are not in such big debt when they graduate. Then maybe they can buy a condo instead of paying back their student loan.

Not the same SSJ
8/30/2018 06:23:16 am

This is not the same school anymore. Lots of dumb rules and many unnecessary changes. The principal’s office has no blinds so if your kid gets in trouble the whole school will know. I wanted to meet with her but my kids told me not to because their friends will think they got in trouble if they see me in there. Father Daniel is all over the place which makes us all uncomfortable. The classes are empty. We are all waiting for the diocese to do something . All I can say is that it’s pretty sad.

It’s all Daniel
8/30/2018 06:39:16 am

All the new rules and changes are Daniel’s. This Dr O is his marionette. What bothers me the most is that we can’t go to mass with our children. He’s trying to force us to go on Sundays to fill up those empty pews. I also hate the new office structure. The only reason we stayed at SSJ is that my daughter is graduating this year. Good luck to all of you who have small children.

Former Men's Club board member
8/31/2018 05:13:09 pm

All of us real old-timers of the Men’s Club are sick of his changes and telling us what to do. We can’t bring smiles to kids faces any more with Santa at Christmas that made us all mad. We got along for 40 years without him just fine. He better go away before I die.

Catholic
9/1/2018 10:30:11 am

Ezekiel, Chapter 34: Parable of the Shepherds
Proverbs, Chapter 3: Confidence in God leads to Prosperity

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Ora Pro Nobis


Catholic
9/1/2018 11:50:07 am

Excerpt from "An Open Letter from Young Catholics" August 8, 2018
www.firstthings.com

“As Catholics, we believe that the Church’s teaching on human nature and sexuality is life-giving and leads to holiness. We believe that just as there is no room for adultery in marriages, so there is no room for adultery against the Bride of Christ. We need bishops to make clear that any acts of sexual abuse or clerical unchastity degrades the priesthood and gravely harms the Church.”

Creepy statement about "love in a hotel room" by a priest.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Ora Pro Nobis

Me Too
9/2/2018 10:02:04 am

"Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build. Unless the LORD guard the city, in vain does the guard keep watch."
Psalm 127:1

I agree with SSJ Mom Who Won't Be Stopped. We are called to do the right thing.

"We going to have to demand that the unfaithful clergy stop all spiritual abuse of the flock, before it becomes sexual abuse. And if they won't stop or step down voluntarily, then we must go to whatever lengths that are within the realm of justice to stop them."

"The worst, most diabolical, most evil form of clericalism is a priest, bishop, archbishop or cardinal staying in the Church and willfully abusing the authority given to him by Christ when he himself doesn't even believe and submit to what the Church teaches. His own spirit of dissent is a suicide pact with Satan and a death warrant for the souls who follow in his filthy footsteps."

"The root cause of the clergy sex abuse scandal is the willful spirit of dissent from the teachings of Christ, as safeguarded by his Church, and the disobedience that - left unchecked - naturally and inevitably flows from the dissent ... to the great destruction of innocent bodies and souls."

Pray the Rosary daily, Catholic Faithful ...Fidelity to Jesus is up to each person.

As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

Reform
9/3/2018 09:15:10 am

Reach out to these individuals on Bishop Vann's Oversight Review Board:

Ron Lowenberg, Chairman
Honorable Michael Brenner, Ret.
James Burns
Joseph Cervantes, PhD.
William J. Collins, M.D.
Rev. Bruce Patterson
Darlyne Pettinicchio
Tim Petropulos
Sr. Kathleen Marie Pughe, CSJ
Victor Quiros
Diane Gomez-Valenzuela
Jackie Gomez-Whiteley

Staff:
Rev. Msgr. Stephen Doktorczyk, Promoter of Justice
Rev. Daniel Reader
Rev. Steve Sallor, V.G.
Marianne Bungcag, Recording Secretary

Money talks
9/3/2018 01:54:03 pm

Complain to whoever you can and stop donating. The diocese will take notice if the money stops flowing in.

Not "Father" Daniel
9/5/2018 02:19:59 pm

Matthew 23:9 “And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.”

TK
9/5/2018 03:05:04 pm

Yes we should not call them father. Because of what one of them said I think they talked to each other about something confidential. From now on I will confess to Jesus, not priests I can't trust anymore. I know many SSJ groups and teachers who are very very upset about what we are going through. Dan Lackie should be disciplined for not telling us how angry the people in Santa Barbara were at Daniel. He is a dicktator allright.

SSJ Mom D.F
9/6/2018 07:21:03 am

What makes me sick is all the chaos that’s going on right now. SSJ was never this unorganized. The office is packed with puzzled parents. The teachers aren’t sure what to do, you ask them a question and they stare at you as if you’re talking gibberish. You hear rumors here and there. Nothing confirmed. Mrs Pinkofsky used to brief us on what’s going on at school during the Monday assembly, this new principal is walking around waving at us as if we’re in a Disneyland parade.

SSJ employee
9/6/2018 08:44:49 am

I can’t help but see the similarities of the chaos you talk about at SSJ to the news about the White House today. In the August 5 bulletin, Barica calls people who write anonymously “cowardly snipers” who shoot from behind the anonymity of the internet. Trump says the anonymous person who wrote the Op Ed about what is going on behind the scenes in the White House “gutless”. His Press Secretary Huckabee called the writer a “coward” who should resign. Mrs C and other SSJ employees are posting anonymously because of what he has done to SSJ. We don’t want to be attacked by this fake “holy man” and lose our jobs. We have to pay the mortgage and feed our families. What we are doing is not cowardly. It is a brave act to seek accountability for abuse and his enablers while keeping our families safe from retaliation. If we fail to call out abuse and pretend everything is great, now that would be cowardly.

B’s mom
9/7/2018 10:18:37 am

Back to school night was a waste of time. Dr O had nothing to say. The teachers had nothing to say. Father Daniel had nothing to say. This new principal needs to understand that SSJ is unique and she can’t enforce her rules on us and not even bother to discuss them. She had already started giving the kids warning slips for minor issues. The school feels more like a prison.

Susie B
9/7/2018 07:47:03 pm

Why is Dr O promoting Diet Coke for her talks? It sounds like an ad. We are trying to get our kids to drink healthy and they see this. Seeing her at back to school night was weird. I passed by her and it was uncomfortable. You know she shouldn’t act like nothing is wrong. She must know the parents and kids are reading this. Yes B’s mom, SSJ is a prison like you say. The mens club guy warned it will be a prison to our kids in an emergency. If something happens to mine I will never forgive Fr Daniel if they can’t run somewhere safe.

Mrs Garcia
9/7/2018 02:30:22 pm

What’s going on right now is unfair to all of us. No one is happy. I thought this Dr O was not going to make any major changes ? So far the only thing left is for her to change the school’s name.

Not the same
9/7/2018 03:21:44 pm

Sure felt different this week not having coach smith out there greeting the kids and watching over everything as the kids made their way into school. These new changes are not what we are paying for. Why not send out a survey to the parents to see what’s working and what can be improved upon? It feels like a big storm is building and the diocese does nothing.

Definitely not the same
9/7/2018 03:28:04 pm

I say bring back Mrs. Crystal Smith and she will be able to fix everything in a heartbeat. I have known this women for years and she sure knew what she was doing when the school was under her administration.

N Jr.
9/7/2018 08:26:07 pm

This new so called security system is useless since anyone can enter at anytime from any of the outside doors, all you need to do is wait for someone to get out of the office, library, classrooms or restrooms and you’re in. Besides, you can’t protect the students during recess or P.E. Only a gate can do the trick.

Diet Coke at school
9/8/2018 06:08:17 am

So you’re telling me that soda isn’t alllowed @ school and she calls her meeting diet Coke with O” and will be having sodas with parents, what a hypocrite ? I told my daughter last night that i’ll Be going to Diet Coke with Dr O and she said how come we can’t have soda too, I said because it’s a bad example that you shouldn’t follow. As for back to school night she didn’t say anything about all the changes and didn’t even allow us to ask questions. What a mess !!

Bring Coach Smith Back
9/8/2018 06:42:05 am

SSJ isn’t the same anymore. Many many many rules to follow. No fun. We want Coach Smith back.

SSJ Mom
9/8/2018 09:06:18 am

I am disappointed with the back to school night. I thought that I’d be getting all the answers to my questions on that day but instead I left as confused as I arrived. She didn’t go over any of the changes. I asked my son’s teacher some questions but she didn’t have an answer for me. She promised to get back to me as soon as possible. Still waiting for her response.

Catholic
9/8/2018 11:50:09 am

Faithful Catholics: educate yourselves on the following True Reformers of the Catholic Church and discern how to best to act as you learn more about these true saints. The following true reformers did not stay idle ...

Saint Thomas More
Saint Ignatius of Loyola
Saint Philip Neri
Saint Charles Borromeo
Saint Teresa of Avila
Saint Francis de Sales

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Ora Pro Nobis

Bye Bye SSJ
9/8/2018 02:58:49 pm

Thank you so much Father Daniel for ruining the school. My kids came crying yesterday telling me how awful mass is. They said Mr Freeleaux doesn’t sing anymore instead there is an old lady squealing. I stopped going to the school mass ever since they announced that parents can’t sit next to their kids. What a shame. I promised my kids that this will be our last year at SSJ. Once again Shame on you Daniel Barica.

An angry SSJ mom
9/9/2018 08:56:19 am

My well behaved, kind, reliable and extremely mannered 8th grader got a warning on his second week of school for not printing the homework. In other words, he did the homework but along with many of his classmates who didn’t know that they need to print it out. The reason is that his teacher wasn’t clear enough. In addition, they have been bombarded with a set of new rules and regulations. For goodness sake, the year barely started. Three more warnings and you get a detention. This will be my kid’s first warning ever. The question is why ruin the students last year of school for something so dumb when you could’ve just given them a verbal warning or be more clear next time while explaining what is needed to be done. To me when more than half the class gets warnings then there must be some sort of confusion which falls on the teacher’s shoulders. My kid is freaking out and can’t wait to leave the school. Is this what father Daniel and O want ? What a memory our kids will have of their last year at SSJ. So a kid who hits is the same as one who forgot to print his homework ? This O was never a principal before and will never be able to act as one. She needs to go back to her castle at Disneyland. I agree with the mom above Shame on you father Daniel.

Jdoe
10/24/2018 08:53:05 pm

Wow calm down. If this is your kid’s first warning and THREE more are needed, relax. Plus once the kid gets to high school I’m sure there are going to be plenty rules to follow. It’s not a travesty to ask that kids be accountable. If the parents wouldn’t act as though the sky is falling if Johnny gets a warning then the kid wouldn’t either.

Be careful what you wish for
9/9/2018 11:02:04 am

I wasn’t a fan of Crystal. I thought she was too strict. I was super excited about the Disney princesses. Turned out that the strictvone has a year of gold and the princess is more of an evil witch.

Be careful what you wish for
9/9/2018 11:55:23 am

I meant to say the strict one had a heart of gold.

Cathy Bryant link
9/10/2018 01:52:58 am

Is there any way that sympathetic friends from abroad can help? Father Daniel and his supporters are naiive if they think that the problem is only noticed locally.

Dr O’s Newsletter
9/10/2018 06:18:48 am

The school’s weekly newsletter had turned into a daily dairy written by O. Dr O lists her daily interactions and favorite memories of the week instead of informing us about school’s updates and important news. She totally ignored the 8th graders warnings. This is unacceptable to me and I sure hope it stops because I already got bored and tired of this bologna.

Dr O’s Daily Journal
9/10/2018 07:17:55 am

This is not a newsletter it’s O’s journal. She needs to take a look at a sample of Mrs Pinkofsky’s newsletter and learn how to properly write one. This is not the school we signed up for.

Diet Coke with O
9/10/2018 12:49:29 pm

Dr O confessed today that all the decisions were made by Daniel. She said it loud and clear that she had nothing to do with any of those decisions even the canceling of the gem award was all Daniel. As for him he was no where to be found. The woman also said that she doesn’t check her voicemail. I will try to hold my tongue and stop at that.

Murph
9/10/2018 02:28:33 pm

GDK, look at the other blog Don't Show the Money... Mr. Smith asked to have his phone number removed! I thought he cared about the kids and wanted to help. Maybe not if they are trashing him. What did O say about him and Mrs P? Don't hold back because everything needs to come out of the darkness. Thanks for all your help.

Curious
9/11/2018 01:07:29 pm

I'm curious to know why you think Mr. Smith asking to have his personal number removed from a public blog means he doesn't care about the kids or families at SSJ. I've seen this comment twice now and don't understand why someone would say this. I am not related to this issue, but I'll tell you I'd be real upset if someone posted my personal information publicly without my permission, especially when my work contact information is so easily accessible meaning anyone can still contact me at any time.
I would be very upset to have random people,. potentially people I don't even know, contacting me on a private line when my family could be trying to get through to me for emergencies.

Curious
9/12/2018 12:12:10 pm

I'm not Mr. Smith.
I would just keep in mind that posting someone's personal contact information that has not been made public by that person and requesting that large amounts of people contact them (without their permission) could be considered harassment in a legal context, so I highly recommend against it.
If everyone posting "anonymously" on this blog stopped posting anonymously and joined forces to take action, imagine the outcome. Sounds like that's what happened in L.A. They stopped attending church and publicly protested. Stop putting all your eggs in someone else's basket for them to take care of.
If you ask yourself "Have I sacrificed as much as these people losing their jobs for speaking out?" and the answer is no, you should not be upset they aren't doing more for your cause, but instead be upset that you aren't doing more for the cause yourself.
Ask yourself, "what else can I do?" and go do it. Stop asking "why doesn't my fellow man do more?".

A question to Dr O
9/11/2018 06:02:44 am

During the meet and greet you said that you were not going to make any major changes. This is our second week of school and so far every day we have a new change. You should be getting a warning for lying.

Elle
9/11/2018 06:13:34 am

O said that meeting with the faculty and staff was like attending a funeral, well let me tell you this Miss O. Listening to you every Monday (although you really don’t say much) is like attending a funeral. Reading you dumb newsletter is like attending a funeral. Seeing Daniel walking around the school is like attending a funeral. Kids getting warnings every single day and coming back home crying is like attending a funeral. Changing everything that we’ve moved about SSJ is like attending a funeral.

Martha
9/11/2018 06:51:24 am

I blame Crystal for being such an exceptional principal that. She raised the bar. Her newsletters were so well written and her speeches were extraordinary. Dr O will never be able to fill her shoes.

Insurance agent parishioner
9/12/2018 07:47:31 am

Another from the mens club said they drink alcohol when they use Coleman Hall for their meetings. I already wrote about this last month. I can't stress enough how risky this is to our church and our donations. Accident lawyers make a living suing for anyone who gets injured or killed by DUI drivers. The diocese Risk Managers need to thoroughly analyze this risk vs. the very expensive cost of a liquor liability endorsement (that we also must pay for). This applies to serving beer, wine, vodka, tequila, etc at the Festival too. Even if we have liquor liability coverage, a $5 million insurance limit will not cover a $25 million wrongful death award. We might have to sell the field to a developer to be able to pay for it. (It is a separate parcel that was originally slated for more homes before Father Ron was able to buy it.) We should not take this risk and follow the lead of public schools that do not allow drinking anywhere on campus for any meeting or event.

Judge Judy
9/17/2018 11:16:54 am

You are incorrect about the Church's liability. Just google dram shop law:

California’s Civil Code Section 1714, also known as the state’s dram shop laws, protects bartenders and bar owners from liability if a person leaves their place of business, drives drunk, and hurts someone.

According to the code, “Everyone is responsible, not only for the result of his or her willful acts, but also for an injury occasioned to another by his or her want of ordinary care.” And it also goes on to say, “The furnishing of alcoholic beverages is not the proximate cause of injuries resulting from intoxication, but rather the consumption of alcoholic beverages is the proximate cause of injuries inflicted upon another by an intoxicated person.”

In short, what the code is saying is that a person is responsible for his own actions, even when he is under the influence of alcohol. And a bar, restaurant, or even private individual that served alcohol at home will not be found guilty of a felony, or be liable to compensate injured victims, if one of their guests chooses to drive while intoxicated.

There is one exception to this law. According to Section D of the code, any adult that serves alcohol to minors (those under the age of 21), may be found liable if that minor suffers or causes any injuries or death while under the influence of alcohol.

Thus, these laws, combined with insurance mean that there is little risk. Carry on.

Insurance agent parishioner
9/20/2018 09:38:08 am

I inadvertently put my response below. See Sept 20.
As a church needing to love others, most important to consider are the victims in the other car in an accident from an impaired driver leaving the festival. As donors, we need to know if we have a liquor liability endorsement on our general liability policy, the coverage amount and how much the endorsement costs us.

Doctor O My God
9/12/2018 08:25:52 am

For all of you who remember how we celebrated 9/11 last year. It started with A memorable patriotic speech by our beloved Mrs Pinkofsky. Then the boys scout. Then once again Mrs Pinkofsky made another wonderful closing speech. The spirit was high that day. SSJ was one whole community. We were all united. We were all happy. The students were proud to watch their school’s tribute to 9/11. Going back to Dr OMG. She stood there with this blank look of hers. She did not say a single word. She was dull. I am sure she couldn’t make it as a performer that’s why she turned into a different career. However, this sad soul Daniel Barica was dumb enough to hire her. Now the school turned into a juvenile hall thanks to her. Sadly, this Dr OMG who is talking about the way girls’ dress is the same one posing half naked on the internet. Thanks again Daniel for spreading hatred and chaos wherever you go.

Focus on the source
9/12/2018 11:10:51 am

It’s easy to pick on the messenger (Dr. O) but we need keep our attention on Fr. Daniel. If we want true change it starts with bringing in a pastor who values community, children, education, and unity. Don’t lose sight of that.

ssj mom who won't be stopped
9/13/2018 10:37:55 pm

I agree completely! Dr. O is just the messenger! We can't loose sight that Fr. Daniel is the problem!
Dr. O has definitely made some unpopular choices, like this new discipline policy- the kids are terrified! But, I think she has some good ideas and could be good for the school. We all miss Crystal, but we have to focus on the good!
Keep contacting the Diocese! Let them know we won't be stopped until Fr. Daniel is gone!!

Too much drama
9/13/2018 02:06:40 pm

We can’t take it anymore. There is too much drama going on at SSJ. It’s sad.

God Bless SSJ
9/13/2018 08:51:10 pm

So far about 100 kids left the school. How many more have to leave before the diocese takes notice ?

Mr. Z
9/13/2018 09:07:54 pm

I was thinking maybe the diocese wants to shut down the school and keep the parish and that’s why they sent father Daniel. Then he got rid of the smart principal and hired the doofus to get the job done before the end of the year. I am being serious about this because why else would they let him stay when it’s obvious that he can’t run the school and how could anyone with a brain hire this Dr O. I heard she told the parents if you like to be formal call me Dr O’bannion but if you prefer to be informal call me Dr O. so the Dr. Part is a given the formality lies in the last name, seriously?

Mr RL school dad
9/16/2018 11:06:48 am

Dr. Doofus. That's her new name from now on. Yes it is bullying but we have a priest who bullies so by his example it must be OK for kids and adults to do again.

Desperate Daniel
9/14/2018 05:26:46 am

Super desperate Daniel was standing in the parking lot and waving at parents and students as they were leaving school yesterday during pickup. He knows how much he’s hated and is trying to gain some sympathy. I personally don’t want him around the school, other moms thought it was a desperate plea for forgiveness after what he did to the school. Either way no one is happy with him and his new principal with her idiotic changes.

SSJ H
9/14/2018 06:43:38 am

Me and my husband thought the same thing. He must feel like an idiot after hiring this crazy lady.

Mrs. Reyes
9/14/2018 08:37:07 am

100 kids left? I did not know it was that many. I wrote losing kids and their future donations is not sustainable for the church. But losing this many kids is not sustainable for the school right now. With fundraising it must be $800,000 - $1 million less because of this priest. Either higher tuition or cutbacks in programs and education will have to happen to make up the shortfall. Does anyone know which the new principal will do? Cutbacks will hurt our kids but increasing tuition again will make more families leave and continue the cycle of downward spiraling.

Miss LM
9/14/2018 10:47:26 am

I know 2 of those families that left the school. One of them told me Father Daniel yelled when her kids were on the swing set. They pulled their kids not long after that. Another said the way he talks to the families something has to be mentally wrong with him. She did not want her kids exposed to whatever issues he has. She transferred her son to Eader in the middle of the school year and she said he is happier there and has more friends than he had at SSJ. Before that she had little saved up for college but now she is giving the tuition and the church donations she was forced to pay to her son’s account instead.

Leaving?
9/14/2018 12:19:48 pm

Would love to know how many plan on leaving the school if things stay as is? It will be hard to stick around if enrollment keeps dwindling and faculty continue to leave.

We are
9/14/2018 01:13:04 pm

We are definitely going to leave but we’re trying to Stick it out and see what happens till the end of the year. We’re hoping that they fire this new principal. If not we’ll go to Cox next year.

Leaving SSJ
9/14/2018 01:06:55 pm

We are planning on leaving for sure. We have three students enrolled this year.

SSJ Mom
9/14/2018 02:17:16 pm

We’re thinking of leaving too.

Mrs. Volunteer
9/15/2018 10:53:04 am

A group of us was at dinner last night at the priest house. All I can say is it was very uncomfortable now that most of us know all this history about our pastor. I should have said I was sick.

OC Catholic
9/15/2018 12:55:05 pm

Too much drama in the Church and in the OC backyard at SS Simon & Jude.

What Would Jesús Do (WWJD)? I am reminded of Jesús’ radical righteous anger in the temple. After much prayer, I also think it’s time to man up, suit up into the breach. “No greater love than this ..”

“According to news reports, the church hierarchy in Pennsylvania and beyond has already denied Christ's gospel three times: once when it sheltered predators in silence; once when it failed to remove everyone who was involved in covering up any crime; and again when two of the six dioceses involved tried to shut down the grand jury investigation that produced the report. Now they face the same choice Peter did.”

“They can offer the full record of faithlessness in abject penitence, witnessing for repentance and redemption even at risk of martyrdom. Or they can deny Christ a fourth time by minimizing the past and protecting those who helped maintain that grisly silence. Which is to say, they can choose to be a millstone around the neck of the faithful — or the rock on which the church can be rebuilt.”

Fmr volunteer
9/16/2018 02:24:23 am

Under the poor excuse of a Spiritual leader Daniel and his Parish Aministator SSJ has become a place of injury,doubt,despair, darkness and sadness. The complete opposite of what St. Francis represents.
As the festival approaches, missing since Daniel's 2nd year is the much anticipated book sale. With the exception of baked goods the only thing to purchase is overpriced and common photos by Daniel. He claims he didn't want the Parish to be a market place yet he has his photo cards for sale in the parish office.
Where does that money really go?
Some transparency would be nice.
As if Daniel didn't get enough attention. 2 years ago at the festival he and the festival committee showed a complete lack of respect for our beloved Friend. Christian and his group Forever Young. They were placed in the corner by the entrance and anyone walking in had to file past them obsuring the view. Daniel of course had the entire side wall and most of the back wall displaying his photos.He didn't have the decency to keep his voice down.
There have been many posts to stop donating. How about a boycott of the festival . Hit Daniel where it hurts most(second to his ego) . I would say stage a peaceful protest across the street, but Daniel's crew would take note of who is protesting. Daniel and Colleen would retaliate. We know they are holding the parish hostage.
A few side notes; is the new organ a form of reward/payment to Mark Purcell for his silence? Does anyone else see a problem with the Parish website promoting an event which on the surface could simply be a typo or is it a break from Catholic teaching of monotheism. Nov 2 in Coleman hall a celebration of Dios de Los Muertos. Literally translated gods of the dead.

Cancelling Parish Pay
9/16/2018 08:50:38 am

You are right this darkness is the complete opposite of St Francis. Mark Purcell, Coleen Murray and Dan Lackie need to resign for allowing this to happen to our church! I already stopped my donations. I am going to say the four letter words that I think about whenever I see his majesty Daniel at the altar. I will go to confession to him so he knows who said it but he cant tell anyone: Butt Wipe.

Judge Judy
9/17/2018 11:25:26 am

Dia de los Muertos - Day of the Dead, not Gods of the Dead. Watch Coco on Netflix and you'll learn about it.

Fmr volunteer
9/20/2018 05:37:31 am

I am fully aware of what Dia de Los Muertos is. However the church website listed the event as Dios de Los Muertos unless they have bothered to fix it.

Dr O’s reflections
9/17/2018 05:50:29 am

The new principal is running out of ideas for the school’s newsletter. At the beginning she used to write about her interactions with the students now she’s telling us what the parents say to her. To me, this belongs to people magazine not a school’s newsletter. As a parent I would like to learn more about your strict rules. Your non stop changes. Your plans for this school year. What new programs will we be having? Why change programs that had already been there and were so successful ? Did you hire a marketing company yet ? Why are the teachers so afraid of you and they all look sad this year ? And so on .... I don’t need to know about how parents are struggling because we’re all aware of that and trust me I struggle too each time I read your shallow, non informative newsletters.

Shocking as always
9/17/2018 06:01:34 am

I still can not believe this O is disclosing personal information and discussing parents’ affairs in her newsletter. The mom who’s getting a divorce is a personal friend of mine and she shared this information with O privately, now it’s published for all to read. How disrespectful and rude of this O to embarrass people like this. I am not sure how we’ll be able to continue the school year with such an insensitive human being.

Distressed Parishonier link
9/17/2018 02:43:09 pm

I read all these comments with such a heavy heart. I do not like what is happening within our Church & School community. To see such a GREAT community become so ugly makes me sick to my stomach. I not only speak of what is happening with Fr. Daniel and Ms. O but also of what is happening on this blog. So many of these comments have become incredibly ugly and extremely vicious. I completely agree 100% that the Diocese needs to made aware of what is happening within our community BUT the way you are going about it by the constant name calling and ugly comments IS NOT going to help your fight it is only going TO HURT your fight. Someone posted last week to STAY FOCUSED but you are not. Someone just posted about the Festival and how that is HUGE for the parish so why not refuse to go, donate, work etc this main event? You all say stop donating at church , this festival here could make a BIG impact. I will not be supporting the festival this year. I also recently overheard some people talking about a big function the school holds every year dinner and dancing. If you want to be heard choose not to support that. That too will make a sizable impact. So please stop with the name calling and start MAKING A STAND by ACTUALLY TAKING ACTION.

Sad Parishioner
9/18/2018 08:29:58 am

I have been reading this for a while and it is time to participate. You are right we need to stop giving our money in the basket and at the festival. But ugly words can be necessary to get the diocese attention like protesters are saying about Roger Mahony in LA. How is he still a Cardinal? How is father Daniel still a priest after the ugly he caused at SSJ? He keeps chasing away young Catholics. I see less kids on Sundays and it makes me sad for our church. If it takes calling him names to get someone to finally do something that is not as ugly as parents not being with children in heaven.

CC Daniel
9/18/2018 08:33:09 am

Daniel is the one who hired this woman. I urge everyone who has a problem or trying to contact her to CC Daniel as well. He needs to understand that parents are not happy with his dumb decision to hire this woman.

Mr. Beal
9/18/2018 12:43:37 pm

I am glad to finally see this revolt against this ‘priest’. I left not long after he came to Simon Jude. I was standing in the back of the church before mass and he made it a point to come all the way back there and in front of everybody tell me he did not want me standing. I have a back condition that makes it very difficult to sit for an hour. I told him he would not see me standing anymore because I won’t be back and I walked out. He embarrassed me. I expected a call about why I my weekly checks stopped because I wanted to tell them he is an idiot but no one ever did.

scandal indeed
9/19/2018 04:49:26 pm

From E. Christian Brugger:

"Seeing the silence, some are likely to interpret it as weakness, or cowardliness, or willingness to tolerate a culture of predation in the Church, or, worse, as a sign of secret agreement with the sinful clerical behavior and an episcopal culture of secrecy. Through the bishop’s ambiguous example, some Christians, especially those who are weak in faith or morals, may leave the Church and the sacraments, or become enemies of the Church — or worse, despair of their hope in Christ. In other words, through the bishop’s example, “the weak person is brought to destruction.”"

"We should attend carefully to the final words of St. Paul’s teaching (I replace “meat eating” with “staying silent”):

“Therefore, if staying silent causes my brother to sin, I will never stay silent again, so that I may not cause my brother to sin” (1 Corinthians 8:13).

"What Should Bishops Do?"

"In my judgment, it is reasonable to conclude that giving scandal in this way is a lively possibility in every diocese of the United States."

"A bishop who stays silent, or, worse, publishes insipid letters to be read at Sunday Mass that indicate no practical resolve to address what’s responsible for the crisis — promiscuous homosexuality, unchastity within the fraternity of priests and in seminaries, bishops not held accountable for gravely sinful behavior, clericalism and radical theological dissent against the authoritative moral teaching of the Church — gives scandal by tempting Catholics, most especially the victims of clerical predation and their loved ones (who constitute a fairly substantial population), to despair of the help of the Catholic Church in living the Christian life."

"Each and every bishop therefore should — must — ask himself:

"Do I have reason to believe that my action or inaction in response to the present crisis is likely to lead anyone around me, especially the morally and psychologically vulnerable, to sin seriously, especially by losing faith in the Catholic Church?"

"If the answer is Yes, then he has an obligation to act to obviate scandal. The obligation is grave since the matter is grave. The implications for mortal sin should be obvious."

"This may sound like bishop-bashing, but it’s not. All of us have the grave duty to avoid giving scandal: Fathers who struggle with pornography must avoid leading their sons and daughters into the same sin and tempting their wives to look elsewhere for marital-type consolation. Wives who struggle with gossip or vanity must be careful not to pass on sinful habits to their daughters or friends. Employers who lie or cook the books or backstab cause scandal by teaching subordinates to do the same."

"Please, there are enough kinds of scandal to go around. All of us have responsibility. But in the present moment, the spotlight is on the bishops."

"And let’s not forget Jesus’ warning about those who lead the little ones to stumble:

Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of things that cause sin! Such things must come, but woe to the one through whom they come! (Matthew 18:6-7)"

Scott
9/19/2018 06:24:40 pm

Hi Cathy Bryant...
Did you see what I wrote on 9-10 in reply to how you can help us by emailing the Franciscans?
You don't need to look up any more emails, just use the ones on this link there are plenty.
https://www.nafra-sfo.org/cnsa/2018ProvincialLeadership.pdf
If you can please copy and paste what you wrote them here so we are transparent like they should be. Thanks again!

Insurance agent parishioner
9/20/2018 09:17:38 am

Judge Judy are you really a judge? If so your response is very irresponsible. I just saw this, you said to carry on as if there will be no problem when someone gets killed in an accident. We have already seen many bad accidents at the surrounding intersections where alcohol is not involved. Add a couple of drinks and the risk greatly increases. As a church, we can’t value alcohol sales over people’s lives. Think about the victims in the other car and the destruction it will cause their families. As someone who is licensed to deal with my client's risk every day this risk is real, otherwise there would be no reason for liquor liability endorsements to exist.

The alcohol at the festival is not being served inside a 21 and over bar where children are not allowed, but a very public place, a church that is supposed to be a great example to kids. The festival has open bottles of hard liquor used to mix drinks in plain view. In my years of experience dealing with insurance lawyers, I learned there is nothing absolute about the law. Ask your lawyer he or she will probably say no matter what law is written, case law supports both lawyers arguments. So they name every party possible in their lawsuit which usually includes the volunteer servers, supervisors and the corporate or private organization that should have stopped serving the DUI driver sooner. Even if it is ruled we have no liability, SSJ donors may have to shell out $500,000 to $1,000,000 to defend a $25,000,000 wrongful death lawsuit. When I donate I expect it to be used to help people, not be given to lawyers.

T.H.
9/20/2018 10:59:20 am

I already volunteered a shift in the beer booth. If I am one of the servers I can get sued? I can't pay a lawyer for this. I am going to switch to a food booth.

Judge Judy
9/20/2018 05:35:31 pm

It's not irresponsible to cite to facts. I am not a judge, but what I have provided you are citations to laws (try Google sometime), as opposed to scare tactics. I understand that it fosters your business by frightening folks into buying insurance, but get real. No volunteer is getting sued. Even if they did, the church's insurance would have to defend them.

People must take responsibility for their own actions and should not drink and drive. Period.

You're statement that parishioners would have to pay attorneys fees is wrong also. The insurance company pays the attorneys fees. SSJ would be responsible for paying it's deductible.

Name one case where a volunteer was sued for serving alcohol at a church event. You can't. Have there been any drunk driving accidents involving someone drinking at SSJ? No. You make a lot of erroneous assumptions. And carry on means carry on reading this blog. It had nothing to do with car accidents. Another exaggeration and non sequitur. Just admit you're wrong and stop trying to paint doom and gloom scenarios.

Insurance agent parishioner
9/20/2018 06:08:04 pm

I am not trying to sell insurance. I am not trying to get into an argument. I am just talking about risk donors should think about. For example, we don’t know if we have a liquor liability endorsement on our general liability policy, the coverage limit and how much the endorsement costs us. That is like driving your car on the freeway not knowing if you are covered. I hope someone in the accounting office of the church replies here and tells us if we are covered for serving liquor. But remember even with coverage, who will pay for any award against individuals and the church for any amount over the maximum coverage limit? I know the endorsement is very expensive so chances are there is no coverage at all.

I have seen it myself, someone is denied another drink at the beer booth but because we allow each person to get 2 drinks their friends keep buying for them. Lawyers usually sue everyone they can down to the servers. Then it’s up to the jury to determine who is at fault. This is not to scare anyone it’s a reality of today. Public schools do not allow liquor for any event on school grounds for a reason.

Regardless of whether or not we have insurance, besides being a bad example to SSJ kids, what if there is an accident? As a church, most important to consider are the victims in the other car from an impaired driver leaving the festival or a Men’s Club meeting. I pray this won’t happen. But if it does, accident lawyers could name every individual and committee member along with the church and even the diocese in a lawsuit. We all need to consider that risk.

Angela R
9/24/2018 10:08:48 pm

Has anyone talked to Reverend Reader or someone else at the diocese lately? Back in July Reader told Kat they are taking the complaints seriously. If he was not lying when he said that than he should have made a change or at least some sort of anouncement by now instead of leaving us hanging.

Paul Fericano link
9/25/2018 10:16:51 pm

I believe it's time to reject the false authority of the Revs. Reader, Sallot, and Vann. The diocese is corrupt. As painful as that may be for many to accept, change often begins with great suffering.

I speak only for myself, as a survivor of clergy abuse and an ex-Catholic--one of the lowest spots on the pole of reason (next to women) when it comes to asking the church to listen to my voice and honor it.

But I also speak as a man engaged in a deeply spiritual practice that attempts to follow a path of justice and compassion--two concepts that are not mutually exclusive.

I hope to touch on this more in my next column.

For now, and to those at SSJ who feel particularly discouraged by what's happening in their parish and school: stay vigilant, practice your true faith, and remember to keep breathing (and laughing). The writing is on the wall for Daniel Barica.


Former SSJ
9/25/2018 06:41:30 am

We have left this church due to the lack of care and poor administration now at the SSJ church and school. There are other Catholic churches in the area. Good luck to you who stay.

Ceasar
9/26/2018 04:35:02 pm

I wrote this on the other article but it is worth repeating because of how similar this is to SSJ.
From the website National Catholic Reporter:
“Many years ago, my parish lived through the dark ages of an authoritarian priest. He happened to be the sidekick to an even more authoritarian bishop. It was a sadly dysfunctional time in the diocese as a whole. Heads were rolling. Priests and laity were being dismissed without explanation. Lines were being drawn in the sand. Folks sucked it up, grumbled and stayed, or they spoke out and quickly found themselves on the other side of the church door.” “When power and authority are abused, they must not be supported.” “I also learned that each parish has a small flock of obedient sheep that will continue to do the pastor's bidding regardless of the extent of his nastiness. They will commiserate and grumble loudly about the injustices being committed, but never directly to the priest. Their silent acquiescence is interpreted as support. They remain faithful minions to the clerical bully, and the bullying goes on.”

SSJ Survey
10/3/2018 01:58:19 pm

O sent out a survey request this morning. I personally have my doubts about it, however, I encourage all parents to fill it out. I am sure it will go to her and Daniel and I know they will try to get rid of the bad and keep the good “if any” but I still believe we need to let them know how we feel about their horrid administration and how terrible they’re making us all feel. Do it for the sake of your children.

Mr. Lee
10/3/2018 04:05:51 pm

Great idea! I just gave my kids a choice of festival or Knotts all year. Knotts was unanimous. I am glad because I suffer with all the grass and dust that is kicked up. My allergies go into overdrive. My wife and I will for sure fill out that survey. That will give them something to chew on for a while.

J. Williams
10/5/2018 09:18:13 pm

I have been watching these comments from a distance. I do not like this priest at all either. I say he is borderline insane. I should have written before, when he went off calling people who write about him cowardly internet snipers. But now he has crossed into the absurd with what he wrote in this weeks bulletin I just read… “Let us all do what we can to continue in faith formation, giving our best example to the children, our future Church.” He says we should be an example to kids but I saw he tells them about his sexual energy and then yells at them? I am not surprised 100(?) of them left the school. If they are supposed to be our future church why would he upset parents to the point that they take their kids elsewhere? Losing just one is not acceptable but how many left? Does anyone else think getting caught on date with a married school mom in a dark movie theater is a problem? Nice example allright.. of how to kill the faith formation of our future church.

FEDup
10/6/2018 10:33:35 pm

I'm fed up with the blatant hypocracy that passes for faith at SSJ. Colleen Murray is just as corrupt as Daniel. She knows everything and will NEVER have the interests of the parishioners in mind. She enjoys her seat of power. I will never contribute anything to SSJ untill the trash is removed.
To some point we are all complicit in the problem. We blindly accepted Daniel few if any of us thoroughly looked into him when he was first announced as the new pastor.
We welcomed him and provided the the stage and enabled him to bully us. He only has power because we gave it to him. As for the new principal the parents need to unite and protest. There is power in numbers. This is YOUR school not hers and not Daniel's. My children all graduated from SSJ and I would never want my grandkids to attend.

We need to take back our parish.

Amazed beyond belief
10/7/2018 05:46:46 pm

Maybe we should have a public flogging? Or burn them all at the stake? What a bunch of mean-spirited, rumor-mongering, gossipy, whiney babies. If you have a problem, go to the source. Can't believe you call yourselves Christians! Grow up!

Cathy Bryant
10/7/2018 06:52:27 pm

That's not a very Christian attitude, Amazed beyond belief. People are complaining here, true, but that's after trying a direct approach in many cases, and people are also making practical suggestions and offering comfort and support. As a Christian, how do you think your name-calling helps? What are you doing to help people deal with the situation?

Scott
10/8/2018 12:35:47 am

Hi again Cathy!
I know you live overseas so thank you for defending us. Enablers shut people up by telling us to act Christian. Well, that is exactly how priests got away with the horrific child abuse scandal. I asked Father Lankeit at Simon and Jude in Phoenix to help us after seeing his powerful sermons about priests who spiritually abuse their flock. He turned out to be another fake because he would not help. His words: “When evil confronts the Church... cowards in power fall silent...or twist the truth.” “Speak the truth in a million voices. It is silence that kills.” But when I asked for his help, he said he would not. This shows his hypocrisy because he chose silence.

Why do I tell you this? Because if any of us contact the Franciscans, Barica will find out who we are and fire us. Since Fr. Lankeit won’t help, could you by emailing the Franciscans for us?
I think the only way to stop this is for other Franciscans to be ashamed of what is happening here. Maybe awareness and peer pressure from around the country will finally get him out of our lives. I hope my kids come back when he is gone.
If you will help us, just use the emails shown on this list (Don’t worry about the missing ones because there are plenty.) Copy everyone so they see who else got it. You can be brief and ask them to help the parish in Huntington Beach. Please let us know if you can do this. Thank you!
https://www.nafra-sfo.org/cnsa/2018ProvincialLeadership.pdf

Paul Fericano link
10/7/2018 07:36:10 pm

In response to "Amazed Beyond Belief"....

I see. And what source might that be? The pastor? The bishop? The pope? Jesus? Nostradamus? Tom Hanks? The IRS?

Honestly. What do you think people have been trying to do here for the past several years? Do you have any sense of how absolutely frustrating and deflating it has been for survivors to be ignored; to be made to believe that THEY are the problem? This is an insidious strategy used by men in power against those who even remotely attempt to challenge their authority.

Do you know what it's like to be constantly dismissed by a higher "source"? Have you any idea how afraid and angry people are and why, only now, after all these years (thanks to the #Me Too movment), they are starting to find their voice?

Gossipy? Whining? Rumor mongering? This kind of high-handed sermonizing and shaming is exactly the kind of sanctimonious nonsense that the church has been trying to get survivors to swallow for centuries: Let's distract people from the truth by pointing to the lie that is so much more difficult to verify.

Rather than be amazed beyond belief, perhaps you should consider believing people and adding your name to the list of those who recognize the hypocrisy revealed in every Sunday sermon that Daniel Barica preaches.

No one deserves a pastor like this. No one deserves a church that thinks they do.

Friend of the Knights
10/7/2018 07:58:46 pm

I have seen what happens to people who confront those who are the problem. Just look at what they have taken away. My friends and I always looked forward to the KOfC dinners. They brought our community together. This past year the few dinners there were, were no fun. I know Daniel is the cause.
He has publicly humiliated Knights who gave their all to improve our parsh.
The first time was to a Knight who everyone knew and liked. He along with his wife for years worked side by side at the Fish Fry, the Festival, St. Vincent dePaul food distribution. You name it they helped. He was a Eucharistic Minister and Acolyte. Daniel dismissed him just before mass then told everyone some story.
He did it because he is a bully.
At this man's funeral Daniel said the mass. His wife not being one to complain, told me they wanted Christian and we're never asked if they wanted Daniel. She was told the morning of his funeral. How low is that. A few of us know it's because of how many people were attending.
The next person he treated shamelessly also a Knight did everything for that parish. He was the best lecturer they ever had. He and his wife brought life to the Parish a ray of sunshine those two were. Gone because of Daniel. I personally saw Daniel turn his back on him, while he was talking. Just rude and un Christian.
I also used to buy my Christmas Poinsettia from the Knights every year. Can't do that anymore.
I heard he wouldn't allow a Knight's funeral to honor his military service.
These are or were good men dedicated to help the church and clergy only to be spit on by the very church they support and love.
Just try to do everything without the Knights and their families. The same ones working your festival in all areas this weekend.

Mr. and Mrs. Davis
10/9/2018 09:11:04 am

Hi Friend, we found out about this from people talking at the festival and when we saw what you wrote we felt bad. We know someone else who Father Daniel shuns and turns away from. We saw him do it to her in front of church it was awful! We are glad to see people writing what happened to them so we know we are not the only ones who feel this way. We used to volunteer and donate a lot but not while he is here. Now that we found out he is taking cash, we just watch the collection basket pass by.

He ruined our school
10/7/2018 08:55:51 pm

This Daniel has ruined our school. He hired a bully or actually a puppet who’s trying to act like a bully based on his orders. His puppet this new principal is constantly intimidating our kids. He is a sick sick man. We pray day and night that he leaves our parish for good.

Fmr Volunteer
10/8/2018 07:36:30 am

The gentleman I am referring to did speak up and file a complaint. What have you done besides falsely accuse people? If you are actually a staff member at SSJ then you are part of the problem. As a staffer you are in a position to help not hurt.

SSJ Staffer
10/8/2018 08:20:09 am

Good morning, I have not falsely accused anyone. All I said is keeping quiet enables him. But if we speak up we will be fired like Russ Smith and others. We can't lose our jobs. Ask your friend to post his complaint here, otherwise the diocese will bury it like they do to all the others. After being on ths job for a just a while I could tell there is no transparency like they promise. Maybe seeing someone else's complaint will give more people the courage to speak up. Please help us.

Fmr Volunteer
10/8/2018 09:26:28 am

So as a staff member you should know facts before you call someone out. Three of those you named are medically and legal classified as intellectually disabled. Know your facts before naming names. While I understand needing employment, at what point do you sale your soul ? Just following orders is never an excuse. You are also enabling by not coming forward.
You probably have proof needed to help put an end to Daniel's folly.

Another statistic
10/9/2018 10:42:09 pm

I tried to speak to Fr. Daniel about a personal concern and was rudely dismissed. He literally turned his back to me as I was mid word. He decided I wasn't worthy of his attention as I didn't fit his idea of a prominent parishioner. I assumed he was trying to talk to everyone around him. I tried other times to speak with him but he would only speak to me if there weren't" important" people around. I have since stopped dropping money in the collection basket.
I once saw him tell a bus of Catholic tourist to leave. He wouldn't let them attend Mass. I guess if you aren't going to be a regular cash cow then you can't pray there.
Does he charge for absolution.
I'm sure we could raise the money for the debt he created, but we are too afraid he would just spend it on more vacations.

Daniel the perfectionist
10/10/2018 08:52:34 pm

I’m his last sermon Daniel claimed to be a perfectionist when he’s far from it. He stated that he hates to make mistakes. Then he hired a puppet to run the school and fed her all of his dumb ideas. The puppet followed his orders. Now the school is falling apart and many families are suffering. Thanks to the perfectionist and his trashy friend MM

School Mom
10/12/2018 04:16:47 am

What’s going on right now at our school is beyond sad. Nothing is the same anymore. This O is following Daniel’s directions and turning the school into a prison. The new security system is a pain in the rear. We were all happy up till 2011 then all of a sudden Daniel showed up and started his evil plot to ruin the school.

Now a former donor
10/12/2018 01:10:33 pm

I would not have continued my donations all these years if I was told some of it pays for the Diocese out of court settlement. I hope it does not have a gag order because if the settlement did not require the priests to be registered as sex offenders, the victims should be able to warn us about those predators. I stopped giving until they are more transparent about all this and how my money is spent.

Be Aware
10/12/2018 02:12:27 pm

Be advised... it has been relayed to me that school surveys are not anonymous nor are they being treated confidentially. Two families have been asked to leave the school over their candid responses.

Revolt
10/12/2018 03:05:10 pm

Revolt if this is true

Mrs. Murphy
10/12/2018 02:50:26 pm

This is awful! We can’t sit back and let this happen! Please tell us who these families are so we can reach out to them and help them. I would like to bring them dinner tonight.

Be Aware
10/12/2018 06:22:22 pm

It is awful and definitely unnecessary. Unfortunately, I can't share their names. I just discovered this blog the other day. I will be passing it along to the families and encourage them to share their stories.
For what it's worth, I'm not encouraging anyone to temper their feedback in the survey because of what I shared. I personally plan on being very candid... constructive, but candid. They can't kick us all out!

Knight's Lady
10/14/2018 09:26:02 am

I have known these men for sometime now. With the exception of Ken Martinez all are good men.
Daniel uses people and when they are no longer useful he sets out to destroy them. What non Knight's don't know is how Daniel ruined what was supposed to be a huge event, because he wouldn't be the beneficiary of the money. Good men left the council due to Daniel's actions and attitude. Thanks to him and his cohort Ken the men turned on each other. Daniel tried to get involved with the council only because he thought he could get his hands on the money. No one is safe from his negativity and hateful attitude. Despite what Daniel has done the good men of the Knights continue to help the church.
I urge Knight in particular to tell his story on this blog. I heard about it through my husband. I also urge the Lady Knight who was also a victim of the parish leaders, to share her story. I also urge the current Grand Knight to not be like the last one Jay Hudson . Don't be fooled by Daniel's false piety. The Knights were created to help the clergy, the widows, the orphans. Stand up for those who can't help themselves. Let's use the full power of the Knights to end this cycle of abuse. I can't say my own name for fear of what could happen to my husband.





Anarchist
10/14/2018 07:35:00 pm

I can no longer remain silent. I have seen first hand the damage that Daniel, and his henchmen have caused. The corruption is widespread.
We allowed it to happen by sitting back and watching as our fellow parishioners were being hurt. We silently said to ourselves at least it isn't me.The so called leaders have systemically destroyed our collective spirit. Everyone of us has suffered some type of abuse at Daniel's hands. It may not have been a direct hit but by making SSJ oppressive we have all been damaged.
We are grieving the loss of our parish community. We are slowly going through the stages of grief. Many of us myself included denied what was really going on. We wanted to keep our heads in the sand.
Let others fight our battles. One evening in the parking lot I heard a man let into Daniel with so much anger. I wanted to get out and cheer him on,but I was afraid of the aftermath for myself and my family. I don't know who it was but I am sorry for not having the courage to stand beside you brother. I watched Daniel run away like a scared animal. More people need to stand up and be heard. We once were so open to everyone I know the local Jewish Temple used to hold their services at SSJ not since he arrived has it happened.
My child was part of a confirmation group that went into the church during this time and their Rabbi was explaining things to them and answering questions with Fr. Christian. Fr.Christian told me that he was once at their services and everyone made him feel so welcome and was often invited to attend their temple and that one of the SSJ parishioners was married to a Jewish lady and he co officiated at their interfaith wedding and Deacon Bill and his wife Sylvia participated in it as well. I noticed there are no heartwarming stories about Daniel. At least while Rusty was around we could smile.
The Fish Fry quit being fun. Our kids used to be able to ply outside and we could visit. Nope that has been taken away. then came the signs about not letting our children even go outside. I know the few times he wasn't in town the Fry was fun. I helped out once or twice outside battering and they were having a good time despite Daniel.
I remember him walking past with his fake smile he treated everyone as if we were Lepers. I know Fr Rusty would stop and joke with everyone.
At the Parish BBQ Daniel would make a grand entrance and then leave. I watched him at the festival having parishioners usually women serving him food and drink like he was the king. ANARCHY is the phrase we need to learn to use.
Lets just say no more to him and his group of brown noses.
My kids are not returning to SSJ after Christmas, they will start at a new school where the principal cares more about the kids then
satisfying and feeding the pastors ego.
So until then I will keep sharing this blog and encouraging others to quit feeding the pig.




Jewish Neighbor
10/15/2018 09:50:17 am

I had no idea what was going on at SSJ. My friend who attends there showed this blog to me after the entry from Anarchist. I remember attending services at your church and the young students looking at the Torah alongside Christian. I also remember attending an interfaith breakfast there. Your children's choir sang a few songs. As for the interfaith wedding I was a guest there. The wife belonged to our synagogue. I attended that wedding, along with many people from your church.
I am still in shock at what I read. Yours has always been a welcoming place.
I wish I could offer words of wisdom and comfort to you. I just don't know what to say but how sorry I am.

Sts. Simon and Rude
10/15/2018 09:22:50 pm

Thank you Jewish Neighbor. I was wonderful when Father Michael graciously let you use our church but now with Dick tator Daniel in charge, outsiders are not welcome. Not even a bus load of Catholic tourists (outsiders) who just wanted to go to mass. He turned them down and caused them to sin because they could not fulfill their holy day of obligation. You see, his attitude is no one can use his facilities unless they are regular donors. He does not care if he turns people away from attending mass and sin, he cares about their money. Young couples can’t get married here unless they contribute each month. Old people can’t have their funeral if they stop donating. There is a word for this: Blackmail. It is religion turned into greed.

It hurts me to see Dick tator Daniel undo all the love and hard work of our greatest Franciscan ever Father Christian. His goal was to bring all religions together via the Interfaith Council. He tolerated Father Christian’s accomplishments but terminated all those relationships when he passed. I was in the room during a eucharist meeting when Dick tator Daniel said any other religion is a cult. I guess you are now part of a cult. On behalf of our now twisted, rude and unwelcoming church, I need to tell you how sorry I am back.

OG Volunteer from the Glorious Days
10/16/2018 10:49:10 am

Anarchist - your acknowledgement of this issue is appreciated, but so much damage has been done.

These issues have been going on since Daniel first arrived. It was part of his MO - to cause division and discord within our parish family. To turn parishioner against parishioner, neighbor against neighbor. Creating problems so he would be more in control and have more power. Divide and conquer. Sound familiar?

People were sounding alarms from the beginning. Me included - 6 years ago. Some of my best friends. Most of our parish family either did not believe us, or they were afraid to speak out. So, we left. My kids will not set foot in the church. They went to school there! We were very active for over 20 years!

Yes on some level the parish family let it happen. If it didn't involve us, we just sat back and watched. Afraid we would be next in his line of fire, We did not stand up for our neighbors. We did not come together as a community when it started. And now look where we are.

This is OUR community - OUR parish family. And we let this man destroy it. All the love and hard work of those that came before us. All the beautiful community events that he has done away with. All the devoted people who now won't set foot in the church. All the families that have left the school.

On some level I feel validated. It wasn't just me, I wasn't imagining it. I speak to others who were early victims of DB and they say the same thing. But we were all pushed out by those who deferred to him. Do you know that some of us were made to feel unwelcome at funerals, like we were the ones who had done wrong? Where was the Christian love when people in our community were being shunned?

Now you are left with a pastor who takes money from the plate, makes bad deals for the parish, and is openly hostile and rude to our parish family members. And who probably is having an affair with a school mom. Not to mention highly inappropriate at the pulpit.

He is no man of God. But when will those in power hear our cries?

Shame on Maureen O'Day
10/20/2018 09:25:40 am

Thank you OG, you are correct we should have said something right away like you did. I finally did and I got ignored by Maureen O'Day at a funeral. I said hello when she walked past and she looked the other way. This from a Catholic is shameful. Fr Daniel divided us my former friend just like you said. It really hurts but I am afraid to say any more and lose more friends.

WWJD is a farse
10/16/2018 11:18:40 pm

WWJD is Dr. O’s social media recovery team. Please be reassured this blog is absolutely accurate coming from a very targeted parent and parishioner. The corruption is unnerving more every day. Catholic values have been lost from the Daniel & O duo and teacher following the “TO DO” lists to each teacher from Dr. O to knock out most of our parishioners & students/ families at our sacred Parish community. Please speak up and continue to shed light on the lies.

$$$$
10/16/2018 11:35:16 pm

Please note every change or policy that was removed at the school but added back has a $$ making profit option to take off the top. Monetary is a huge sole driver ... including Ice cream at school going from $1.50 to $5.00 each per student. Please double check the quality of everything coming back or given to kids - I see a 75% downgrade on price & quality or a huge increase in price for same service.

Hypocrisy
10/17/2018 09:20:02 am

I agree that WWJD? is most likely Colette herself. At the very least, it's the PR team mobilizing. I thought that anyone that was positively identified on this blog would be expelled from school??? Would that apply to the Principal as well!? If it is the PR team, how sad on multiple levels. The saddest is that the school even needs a PR team. A good school's reputation is all you typically need to keep enrollment up and a healthy wait-list to follow. It should serve as a warning sign to prospective students / parents that the message of the school needs to be so carefully managed.

I know I'm not the first to respond to this, but I am especially offended by WWJD?'s use of the word 'cruel'. What's cruel is being a heavy-handed ego maniac. What's cruel is kicking good families out of school for petty or no reason at all! WWJD? (or Colette, if this is in fact you), did you ever stop for a moment and think about the emotional trauma on the children whose families you've dismissed. It's devastating. That responsibility lies solely with YOU. Shame on you. You wax on in your weekly 'dear diary' newsletters about the smiling children's faces so full of potential, but yet you give no perceived thought or hesitation to completely throwing their lives into chaos because a parent looked at you the wrong way. Where is the 'turn the other cheek' now? Your actions disgust me.

As to Colette simply being a stooge for Father Daniel. I don't buy it. I've had direct interaction with Colette. She is her own person. I'm sure some things are handed down (as in any work place hierarchy), but make no mistake she is not a puppet. She is a card carrying member of the changes and toxic environment now festering at the school.

For those of us who remain, I pray that we find a solution and soon. The concern must be expressed to the Diocese. I encourage everyone to reach out, even if you think they're not listening. If the outreach is overwhelming, they can't ignore us forever. In the meantime, I'm sad to say I'll be voting with my dollars and level of support. Definitely no auction support this year, which really saddens me. The volunteers pour a lot of time and effort into making this a wonderful evening and to them I apologize, but a message must be sent. If they can't sell any tickets, the Diocese will have to start paying attention.

Father Daniel (if you're reading this, which as I understand it both you and Colette are frequent readers), I agree with one sentiment from WWJD?, which is God expects more from us. As the leader of the parish and school isn't it time to address this head on and more openly? Isn't it time to realize that regardless of their reasons a lot of people are upset. Isn't it your job to help them heal, even if that means making a sacrifice yourself?

My soapbox is starting to wobble, so I'll stop and get off of it. I'm just really sad about what's happening to our school.

Anonymous
10/17/2018 01:12:14 pm

Hypocrisy - this is very well said! Could not agree more with this post. WWJD might be the new marketing person hired to try to get kids back in the school (at our expense). What is her salary and what is the impact of it on our tuition? And how about that Disneyland trip? Has Dr. O told us how much that cost? Could be tens of thousands considering the staff time that has to be paid for attending the meeting.

I'm tired of this. Let's bombard the diocese with these complaints. Let's take our church and school back. This is OUR school and OUR church.

We are Catholics, not a Scientologists. We should be permitted to exercise our First Amendment rights without fear of retaliation. This is sickening. Rise up, organize and protest these cancers with the diocese.

Bring Crystal Back
10/17/2018 04:42:57 pm

Last year when Mrs. Crystal Pinkofsky was running the school there was more discipline even though the teachers didn’t have to write the students up. We were all happy, it felt like a real community. Father Daniel if you’re reading this you need to bring back Crystal and send this Dr O back to where she came from. I lost all respect for you already.

Bring Crystal Back
10/17/2018 04:42:58 pm

Last year when Mrs. Crystal Pinkofsky was running the school there was more discipline even though the teachers didn’t have to write the students up. We were all happy, it felt like a real community. Father Daniel if you’re reading this you need to bring back Crystal and send this Dr O back to where she came from. I lost all respect for you already.

Ron D’s
10/17/2018 04:57:29 pm

It’s because Ms Crystal has class while this O doesn’t.

Disappointed
10/17/2018 08:39:54 pm

Friend,
I remember planning to purchase tickets to that event at Christ Cathedral. No one who I asked knew why it was cancelled. It is appalling that a priest can treat someone so poorly.Who is he to demean someone's faith or good works. I know one of our ushers competes in Special Olympics.
I hope that Parking Lot Guy knows we support him and his wife and know them to be a perfect example of how Christians are to behave.
I wish more people had his courage to stand up to the oppressive regime.When he was the lector you wanted to listen. I know him and his wife made the dinners more enjoyable.

No Confidence
10/18/2018 07:02:01 am

We must all vote ‘no confidence’ by withholding donations and support. I think C. Rios is correct; lawsuits are most likely coming. It is mid-guided faithfulness to financially support the poor decisions and morally questionable protection of people and policies that are hurting good people.

School mom E.M.
10/18/2018 08:15:27 am

O’Bannion you are not a victim but his Protector. What you wrote in your last newsletter about our students: “I dream that they will escape those that hide behind the screen to defame and destroy. I dream that they will stand up for their friends if they end up the victims of such a nightmare."
You are telling us to keep quiet to protect our nightmare Barica. Then you did what you said we can’t do… you defamed and destroyed school families because of their survey responses. Those families did not hide behind the screen of social media. You humiliated them and kicked them out of school. I can't say my name because you will do the same to us. Catholic Values? Go to confession for not doing unto others!
And why are you promoting Diet Coke? The kids can’t have soda. You even have their logo on your website newsletter. You must be getting paid from them because it looks like an ad. Does this money go to you or Barica for more of his trips?
You have the power to end our suffering. You are not being transparent per your promise. Tell us how much Disneyland cost us. And tell Barica to bring back Santa so our kids can have that joy again.

C. Rios
10/18/2018 09:23:12 am

O'Bannion tearing up shows she is under stress and we will have to pay for a lawsuit against our church. The sooner we stop donating and volunteering, the sooner his harassment and stress he causes us will be gone.

Hagg
10/18/2018 09:58:14 am

It’s an act. This woman has no feelings.

Fry guy
10/18/2018 09:59:28 am

Parking lot Guy,
Thank you for telling Daniel off. Also thank you for everything else you did. I saw you working your behind off every week at the fry while one of the chairs (JP )sat on her behind doing nothing. Then when Daniel was around she would kiss up to him and pretend to work. It is shameful that you event was cancelled. I guess only Daniel is allowed to be the recipient of money. I bet if you would have cut him in he would have jumped on the band wagon.
The Knights have done so much over the years for this parish, but I guess it's not enough for Daniel. You were driven out and another lady from the Knights that always worked the fry is now gone. A few other people from the Knights are also gone. It is so disheartening to see good people torn down. It was asked WWJD?
I think he would be upset and turn over the symbolic tables , then throw out the degenerates using the House of God for money grabbing and other sinful acts.
Take heart brother the day will come.
We get a smile and whenever you and your lovely wife show up and ignore Daniel. Keep a smile on your face brother.

The idiot O
10/18/2018 11:17:07 am

The idiot O first tried canceling everything that Crystal had done in the past and now she’s bringing em all back. Catch them being good will be catch them being kind and study for success is the homework club. The pea head just can’t stop making a fool of herself.

Jasmine
10/18/2018 11:35:02 am

What do you expect ?! They thought they could erase Crystal’s history and have this puppet run the school along with Daniel and Colleen but they realized that they messed up so now they’re bringing everything back and changing the names. What a shame. I feel sorry for them. I bet O is very embarrassed. I will be looking her in the eyes while she’s calling the students names for this catch them kind thing although I am positive she’ll have the students council do the job for her as always.

Ilene
10/18/2018 02:10:11 pm

She is losing it. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. The Disney Witch can’t think of anything on her own so she’s renaming Mrs Pinkofsky’s programs and awards. What a dummy.

JDoe
10/23/2018 09:43:42 pm

Jasmine and Ilene, I'm guessing you were "mean girls" in school? I doubt Dr. O is embarrassed or trying to erase memory of Crystal. I think she's just a new principal taking on her new position and trying to do what she feels is in the best interest of the kids. However if she's up against a bunch of mean girls like you guys I feel sorry for her. I sure hope you don't speak like this in front of your children. If you do, you should in fact be the ones that are embarrassed.

JDoe
10/23/2018 09:38:28 pm

Wow, you are rude. Would you like your child talking about somebody like that? "The idiot O." How about you put in some time and effort and get to know the lady and understand that she is taking on a new school and making some changes for the better. What do you want to accomplish by posting such hateful things? Hopefully you put on a nicer face when speaking with your children.

End of my rope
10/19/2018 06:42:37 pm

I agree with the Dr. I say bring on Santa. Santa Claus is short for St. Nicholas who's feast day is Dec 6. Since when does one priest decide which saints we honor? We need to be like Parking Lot Guy and speak up.
We are sick and tired and we aren't going to take it anymore.
Thank you parking lot Guy I'm going to take your example and tell him what I think.



A sad hearted parent
10/21/2018 02:02:49 pm

I continue to play over in my mind certain events from the festival. In the Oct. 7th bulletin, Father Daniel wrote “ One thing I actually love to hear at Festival is the sound of children enjoying themselves on the rides. Their screams of delight only remind me of my own when I was a child at my parish’s annual carnival.” He displayed very different behavior to several children enjoying the festival with their families in Coleman Hall. He boldly glared at several children playing as their families enjoyed refreshments in Coleman Hall. His icy glare at these young children made me chillingly uncomfortable. For a man who was quoted as loving the sounds of children, his behavior shown otherwise. It was only when he was approached about his artwork did his glares at the children cease momentarily. His attention became focused on the sale of his wares as he had chased out the book sale long ago. The behavior he displayed was shocking and inexcusable for a man walking in the footsteps of Jesus. It made me recall the news that both summer school and the summer Fit camp being abruptly canceled when dates had already been set for both in late Spring of last school year. Again, a successful attempt at chasing out any opportunities for noise and commotion on the grounds of a parish school. God forbid there be the noise of children on a school campus. On an additional note, a long tradition of holding First Communion as a whole grade level had been changed as well leaving parents to try to grab only a few spots per Sunday for communion. It was noted that it should not be a party or celebration and one of a more somber tone. WHAT??? These children are continuing their path of Catholicism and school families should be able to take part as a grade level. It should be a time of joy, community, and love in God’s eyes, not a time of divisiveness as friends and peers are split up. It is yet another example of the breakdown of community within our parish and school. What was once a welcoming and warm environment has been replaced by division and hostility all from a man “who loves to hear the sound of children”. His behavior and conduct display otherwise.

Insurance agent parishioner
10/21/2018 03:02:55 pm

Thanks for your info on the festival sad hearted parent. Not sure if you know but the police had to be called because of fights on the dance floor. Not a good example for a Catholic church. That is what happens when people drink too much at a public event. I already voiced my concern as a risk manager about this and I hope it does not lead to lawsuits. I asked if we have a liquor liability endorsement for our liability insurance policy but no one from the parish office responded. Even if we have an endorsement, a million dollar limit will not cover a $5 million dollar judgment. This applies to the liquor served at the men's club meetings too. Donors need to know if we are covered. I am very concerned what we will have to pay if someone gets hurt or injured in a fight or car accident related to alcohol.

participant
10/21/2018 05:35:59 pm

Insurance guy,
I know the parish requires liquor liability or they won't allow the sales of liquor. Also if parish members don't want to pay for anything there then don't donate.

Hypocrisy
10/23/2018 09:58:17 am

Canceling the book sale (so fr B can sell more of his items. How much of that money does he keep?)
Canceling Summer School
Canceling Summer Fit Camp
Canceling Knight events
Canceling Men's Club events
Canceling Class Communion
Canceling Santa
Canceling playing at Fish Fry
Canceling playing at Thanksgiving dinner
Canceling playing anytime due to bars around the playground
What's next?
Canceling the Knights
Canceling Men's Club meetings
Canceling Sonshine Summer
Canceling donuts (so people go home quicker)
Canceling Quilt Group
Canceling sacraments (unless you pay)
Canceling hospital visits (unless you pay)
Canceling Fish Fry
Canceling Thanksgiving dinner
Canceling the Festival
Canceling all fun

SSJ Parishoner H
10/21/2018 02:39:26 pm

I will stop attending mass at SSJ starting today. This man (Daniel) is full of anger and hatred. His homily is nothing more than a cowardly attack on anyone who dares to criticize him. This man is extremely unforgiving.

SSJ Teacher
10/22/2018 11:00:21 am

I remember when he told the parents at Back to School night Father did not want them using remote controls for their cars because he did not like the horn or clicking sound it made. He claims SSJ is welcoming but look at the No Trespassing signs he posted. He started kicking our own kids and their parents off the grounds. He even kicked Trent Amelotte and his kids off when he was still a teacher. They were just playing (making noise). I heard one dad pleading with him telling him his kids go to school there. His answer was so loud people told me they heard it to the parking lot...”I don’t care, get out! He ws so upset he walked into the parish office and ended up pulling his kids. I asked Father later why he did that and he told me he did not want to be bothered after school hours. Then he changed his tune and used the excuse of campus safety which makes no sense. Ask Mark Purcell, Russ Smith, Nicole Hunt and the other teachers they will verify. And also ask Nicole why he stopped talking to her. Imagine shunning one of his own employees. She was emotionally wounded. I felt very bad for her.

Rebecca
10/22/2018 01:05:58 pm

The faculty are begging for food now. O’s newsletter says:
“Your Hospitality Committee is in need of gift card donations from Sam's Club, Smart n Final, and Costco to fund our events throughout the year. Our first event is coming up; we will provide snacks, beverages, and treats for our wonderful teachers and staff during Halloween week. Every $25 donation will earn you 2 service hours. Gift cards may be turned in to the front office. Please indicate that the gift card is for Hospitality and remember to hang on to your receipts. Thank you very much for your support! “

What a shame !!!! First they have them wear matching shirts like the ones they wear at FedEx, then they ask for charity. I feel so embarrassed for our teachers. What’s next Daniel and O having the staff stand by the door holding signs that says “work for food”

Disgusted
10/23/2018 08:38:09 pm

Rebecca, are you really this stupid?

Jdoe
10/23/2018 09:22:52 pm

I'm pretty sure they've always asked for donations, and it seems like it is a nice gesture to provide food and hospitality for the teachers. Not sure why that should be attacked.

I don't think everyone in the community knows who all of the teachers are. Matching shirts or name badges or some identifying marking seems like it would be a good idea and perhaps add a little more safety to the campus.

OG Volunteer from the Glorious Days
10/25/2018 10:33:46 am

There used to be a line item on the school PFA budget for Hospitality. It was covered by the school fundraisers, along with the other extras that the PFA provided. Either it was removed from the budget, or the fundraising is no longer sufficient to support the hospitality events.

Hospitality would host special luncheons for the teachers thru the school year, as well as the morning coffee and bagels on the first day of school, coffee and snacks the night of Open House, etc.

Routinely the hospitality committee would reach into their own pockets to cover some of these events, "back in the day", if the annual budgeted amount was exhausted.

Just an FYI...

Another from the Men’s Club
10/22/2018 01:21:37 pm

I was out of town and saw my email with this week’s bulletin when I returned. Shirl Giacomi joins Dr O as the latest Fr. Daniel enabler. She talks about the priest abuse scandal but she is another employee to not even acknowledge the complaints in our parish. There is HIPPA protection but after reading about his anxiety attacks, we should be told if medication is affecting his faculties for the safety of our grandkids and school children. Shirl asks why we should remain Catholic. All she has to do is ask the families and kids who left SSJ. Fr. Daniel already told us and our children his very private information about what he does while standing nude. As a former employee of the diocese, she should have reported this and had him removed. If he talks about it again or worse, uses his sexual energy on someone, are we going to be sorry we did not stop him earlier? Not addressing his improper sermons about this and now his drinking, and all the complaints they have received is just more cover up of his behavior. She says the financial cost to just 87 victims was $100 million. That is well over $1 million each. We have a lot more than 87 victims of Fr. Daniel’s abuse and harassment here. What if he gets a DUI and kills someone? What will that cost us? Someone said she won’t be happy if the money to pay for abuse came from her donations. When the scandal first broke, Fr. Alex promised us our donations would not be used. But where else would they get the money from? $100 million is only for the victims. We must have also paid a law firm. She also says each diocese staffs an Office of Youth Child and Youth Protection. (Do we have one, who is on our payroll for this?) And they bring in top psychologists and have an outside firm do an audit every year. And she said we paid for a John Jay Study. (Did anyone see this study? I did not know it existed.) She said they even hired outside mental health professionals. How many more millions is all this costing us? It sickens me to think we are paying for priests who cannot control themselves after Alex promised we would not. To Shirl and all of the Fr. Daniel enablers, didn’t you learn your lesson from how much Fr. Gus cost us? I stopped donating a long time ago so none of my money can be used inappropriately anymore. I will give to real Social Justice causes, not paying for a parking lot and for lawyers for to work on priest abuse cases.

Tired
10/22/2018 03:39:30 pm

I find it ironic that the very priest, who without actual proof just a rumor (drinking while serving mass)dismissed an acolyte from serving. Then told others about it and told this man if he ever drank while on campus he (Daniel) would throw him off and he wouldn't be welcome back.
Now he complains that he doesn't like sitting with former Catholics at receptions and he just wants to drink.
Where is his compassion? If he doesn't want to do God's work or I don't know do what Jesus would do, then stop being a priest. I wonder what other "nature" pictures is his taking?

False hope?
10/22/2018 08:49:48 pm

If history is any predictor of the future the church will let this parish continue to be victimized and eventually quietly try and make this problem go away. How much longer will they remain silent? Do they wait until the media jumps on this and brings on more shame and embarrassment to the Catholic Church or do they get on top of this actually do something? Time is running out.

Pot, Meet Kettle
10/23/2018 08:46:31 pm

Dear Disgusted:
Perhaps once your rage subsides you will see the irony of your missives. Is there frustration on this site? Absolutely. Is some of it mis-guided? Perhaps. But WOW, your fury speaks volumes! The sad part is that, while of course I can't be sure, you sound like the Principal. If you're wish comes true and names are revealed, what will it say about you that you would weaponize the children of the school / parish (re-read your post, that is exactly what you implied). You are seething with anger and if in fact this is the Principal you have just confirmed that you are an angry and dangerous person who should not be around children. So yes, let us remove our masks and see what happens. Those in power shouldn't have to hide. Those without it must sometimes hide for fear of retribution from the wicked who abuse their position. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is reality. Either way, I recommend you seek help before you hurt yourself or other beyond what you've already done (perhaps not physically, but definitely emotionally).

For the record, you are somewhat right about one thing... this blog, in and of itself, probably won't solve much. That said, in dire times, such as the ones we're facing, it is a source of comfort for some to know that we're not alone in the abusive and unfair experiences many of us are and have faced. However, if those with real information and purpose have the courage to follow-up with the diocese (as I have), eventually they will take action and then we will truly see who will be left standing alone.

Enrollment is down
10/23/2018 09:10:40 pm

Families are leaving, enrollment is way down at the school, and people are stopping their donations. Not sure what more proof you need that this is a sinking ship.

Questioning
10/23/2018 09:29:07 pm

Where is this anger coming from? The reason there aren't comments supporting Daniel and company is that this is the only place where we can comment freely without having to worry about who will run and report us. Also why should we leave the Parish we have financially supported for years long before Daniel was there.
You stated you can't say your name is is fear of recrimination?
I will proudly give peace to any of these people at mass and there children and spouses would be proud of them for not being afraid to speak up. As for confronting Daniel he runs away any time anyone speaks up. You named called and insulted peoples parenting. Shame on your own behavior

A Different Perspective
10/23/2018 10:01:10 pm

I couldn't specifically reply to the previous post from Disgusted, but this is intended as a follow-up. I have not read all the entries. There are quite a few, which is an understatement, but I will read through them. I am in agreement that responses and approaches should be done respectfully in all instances (and as a catholic, with love and grace). While we should all strive to respond and behave as Jesus would, but we are fallible. When one is treated unfairly, whether perceived or real, it is difficult to keep the discourse civil. For my part, I found this blog after one of the families that I knew was dismissed from the school without what appeared to be undeniable cause or reason. I am not close enough to any of the families to know or inquire as to the details, but I must admit the perception concerns me. For me, it is that concern that has led me to this blog as I seek out what happened. I don't seek this out to be nosy, but to the extent that families should be concerned, I'd like to know. I guess I chanced upon the blog during a fiery moment.

Paul Fericano link
10/23/2018 11:47:30 pm

To "Disgusted" and Everyone Else Who Reads and/or Posts a Comment on A Room With A Pew...

We all have a right to express our opinions on this site. In fact, I welcome it. But those who want to pick fights with one another really need to take it outside. If, on the other hand, there are those who wish to engage other parishioners in a spirited, civil, and sometimes heated exchange, please go at it respectfully. This site promotes the healing process, and what is occurring here is part of an ever complex and personal journey. If there is anything to be learned from this site, I hope it's something about ourselves.

But let’s be clear: For years now, SSJ parishioners have been unable to engage Daniel Barica, Kevin Vann, David Gaa, or anyone else who might be in charge of this mess or contributing to it. It is no surprise that there is a real effort by some to ignore and, in some cases, discredit opposition voices on this site. All the principals involved, the ones who can actually make a difference toward a positive outcome for SSJ, have steadfastly refused to respond to any request, however fair or reasonable. No one who is in a position to help these people has lifted a finger. On the contrary, they have behaved in ways that contribute to their pain and suffering.

So what do these parishioners do with their frustrations over Barica and the church? Where do they go? They vent here. A blog started by a clergy abuse survivor who is privy to a few stories that the Franciscans probably hope I'll never tell. These parishioners turn to this safe place where their grievances can be shared and heard. This is raw stuff. Not meant to be pretty. When you feel hurt and wounded, particularly by those who preach the Gospel, the pain and anger are ugly in so many ways. I know a little about being through the church ringer a few times. But when outlets are found that don't involve violence towards yourself or others, there's a chance, however slim, for some genuine healing.

This isn't a competition of personalities. This isn't about you or me. It isn't even about Barica. When you come right down to it, this guy, however screwy and screwed up he is, has become the product of a false narrative. It's about a problem that goes back longer than anybody wants to admit. It's about what happens when your own church turns out to be the villain and not the hero.

People are in pain. It's real and they hurt. If feels as if no one is listening. I've seen this acted out before, dozens of times, in dozens of communities. There are no easy solutions. Going to another church, changing schools, writing letters, knocking on doors--all of these may produce some short-term relief, but in the end, they have haunting consequences that are far-reaching.

If you have experienced pain because your pastor, in some way, emotionally and spiritually traumatized you, then by all means, you should speak out about it. But if you haven't experienced this pain, any anger you direct towards other parishioners who are experiencing it--members of your own community--is grossly misdirected and sadly invalidating. Belittling, condescending, and maligning those who have been victimized by their own church has been a cynical tactic used by the clergy ever since the abuse crisis broke.

I urge everyone not to play into it.

Finally, I'm a firm believer in the First Amendment. The comments section on this blog is open to anyone, including those who have a grievance against Barica, the parish, the Franciscans, and the church. Anger, sadness, grief. Own your feelings and honor the feelings of others. However, I will not tolerate bullying of any kind by anyone. There’s been enough of that already and this is not a site for trolls. If you have a beef with another parishioner who posted here, please make sure you choose your words--and your battles—wisely. And, whenever possible, consider a little compassion for yourself and for others.

Thank you all for being out there.

Questioning
10/24/2018 08:15:24 am

Who may I ask are you to be dictating how people are to act and voice their thoughts? As was mentioned earlier there are other parishes to go to if we don't like SSJ. Well there are other options for you and others who support Daniel. Start your own blog. Or just boycott this one.
What Paul has provided is a forum to freely express what people think and feel. Unless you were personally there for every interaction between Daniel his staff and others you can not say these people are wrong.
As for "slut shaming" the principal most of the comments I read went to her incompetence.
Ask yourself why is the number of displeased parishioners growing?
They stay because to leave means they have given up hope and faith.
Where is encouraging that a Christ like behavior?

SSJ Divided
10/24/2018 03:01:30 pm

This is great! Finally, other parishioners are reading about the rest of us who are afraid to talk to DB. Disgusted, you verified exactly why we stay anonymous - we do not want to tell him our feelings and be shunned by him and our parish after he tells people who we are. FYI, O's incompetence is an opinion people have a right to state. Someone's opinion is not a lie.

I should have posted before but I spent all day reading everything I could on the internet about DB so I am trying to summarize what I saw. Disgusted, you only praise people like observer who agrees with you. We live freely so we are allowed to state our feelings about what has happened to SSJ. You acknowledge there are problems but if we question anything please do not call us disgusting and vile. We are broken and just want SSJ fixed. We want our grandkids to go to mass with us again. Getting all the kids who left to come back should be your real focus. If it takes removing DB like the other churches did then so be it. Look at what Mary from Santa Barbara posted about how they fought to get rid of him on the other blog on July 16. Fr. Dan should have told us. We need to fight for SSJ too. If anyone knows Mary or other people in Santa Barbara or LA, please ask them to write details of what happened. Being with our entire family in heaven is too important to us to keep quiet.

No one wants to be the next person DB tosses aside, like the Knight who yelled at him in the parking lot. The fact that witnesses saw this should tell you there is a big problem. Please read what OG Volunteer from the Glorious Days said on Oct 16 very carefully. I think it sums up why most people don’t say anything. We tip toe around him and unless we are a direct victim of his harassment and spiritual abuse, we just sit back and watch. I am just as guilty of that. We are afraid he will turn his anger on us if we come to someone’s defense like the guy in the parking lot. We are afraid he will get the parish to shun us - just like you say will happen. It is eerily similar to what actress Leah Remini says about the Church of Scientology, if you say anything negative you lose friends and family. Someone said this is not a church this is hell on earth right now and I agree.

Our fear that he will divide us from our own church keeps us under his thumb. But staying silent is how priests got away with so much bad behavior. Now because of our silence with him and other priests, our religion is under siege. Look at how many young people left our pews. Are we OK with that and stay quiet? It is really our fault for turning our heads. We can’t ignore what SSJ has become just because you call us names. We have to think about the kids first. Please use Catholic values in what you say about us.

Other than the Knights and those of us in the Men’s Club who are not afraid to take this risk, few people will ever say a word. But we all can safely speak in this blog. Please do not attack, we are hurting and need help. Threatening a lawsuit to keep people quiet is just more cover up. That will bring out all of their skeletons during discovery. Can you imagine seeing the emails and complaints from here and all the parishes DB served at? They will not want this because it will validate what everyone writes. And they can’t sue for how people feel anyway. They really should be transparent and show his complaints to us voluntarily so we can see DB’s pattern of abuse and harassment everywhere he has been. Anyone with a family member who does not go to church anymore should be irate with him. Souls are at stake here.

We are anonymous because we do not want to be shunned. But I am trying to figure out why you, observer and JDoe stay anonymous. Maybe you are the same person. If you are on DB’s side you would want to be identified because he will praise you and elevate you like Trump does with people that agree with him. You can’t be one of his staff because Mrs C in the parish office already told us on June 23 how much the staff hates him. The person who works with Mrs C in the office posted actual emails and letters on July 28 that should really concern everyone. I know who she is she showed them to me. Our problems are real but our complaints are being ignored. Although you have denied it, the only reason you stay anonymous must be because you really are DB, Colleen, Fr Dan, Bishop Vann or another of his enabler supervisors trying to shut us up.

Let’s keep this objective like good Catholics must…Although I do not agree with your attempt to cover up DB’s behavior, thank you for talking about this and getting the word out because so far the church has tried to keep everything quiet. The more people who see this the better so please everyone send this link to as many as possible. I personally know Fr Dan and Fr Rusty received a lot of complaints. Yes, that does indeed make them complicit enablers. So is Chris Sumpter after all the c

Questioning
10/24/2018 04:05:34 pm

First SSJ Divided you are absolutely right.
Disgusted, I noticed how when it suits your needs you will suddenly comment as if you are supporting Paul. When in your earlier rants you were critical of him and the blog.
Yes you are correct these comments will forever remain on the internet.
Just because you have not been a victim of the cruelty unfair behavior doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
You are fully entitled to your beliefs and feelings just as each of us is entitled to ours.
We vehemently disagree, that is the joy of living in a free society as opposed to a dictatorship.



Disgusted
10/24/2018 09:50:11 pm

SSJ Divided,

For the life of me I have no idea why you choose to drag all of these people, by name, into your discussion. Do you think Mr. Purcell, Fr. Rusty and Dan Hart want to be dragged into this and have you say that they have actual knowledge of Fr. Daniel actually STEALING money from the parish but they haven't gone to the police? That is what you are saying. You are saying that they know about it, but haven't gone to the authorities. You need to be absolutely careful about what you are saying here. Those are exceedingly serious accusations and, according to you, probably make them accomplices, in actual theft. You say they told Bishop Vann, but if you are correct and actual theft is going on, and they are aware, which according to you they are, I would think they would be obligated to go to the police. Or, are you not quite as informed as you are making out and are exaggerating things just a bit. Do you disagree with where the money was spent? If so, please say so. But you have accused a man of committing a felony, and you have accused several others of knowing about the felony, but not going to authorities. I am not 100% sure the people you named would be on board with what you have done. Maybe they are, but I doubt it. Hard for me to imagine Mr. Purcell staying at a parish where he knows such corruption is taking place. I could be wrong though. But I doubt it. In my opinion Mr. Purcell is too good of a man. Are you sure you aren't stretching the truth a bit here? Are you calling something stealing, when you really mean you think it should be spent on summer camp?

Paul Fericano link
10/24/2018 04:55:06 pm

"Digusted" ...
I am troubled by your attempts to inject fear into this process and feed into the anxieties and insecurities of others. Inflammatory talk of lawyers, the government, litigation—whether by accident or design—are questionable intimidation tactics intended to silence those who have legitimate grievances.

In an effort to claim the high moral ground, you unfairly target others (particularly those who have expressed their hurt), minimize their suffering, and diminish the validity of their anger. This is a disturbing but familiar pattern of bullying that is unacceptable to me in this or any other forum.

I also take offense when my own views are twisted and misrepresented for the purpose of creating a false alliance that pits me against others. This includes your attempt to deflect criticism, directed at you, by aiming it towards me. I refer you to “Questioning” [10/24/2018 08:15:24 am] .

Are you not aware that this kind of baiting is a cynical tactic that’s been used by the church in the past to divide clergy abuse survivors? It doesn’t cease to amaze me how often this is tried by those professing to be good Catholics. I do not succumb to false praise. I’ve been around the block enough times to know when someone is trying to manipulate me for the benefit of their own argument.

I am grateful for the many people who earnestly support my work. This includes my friends in the survivor community, the literary world, and the many parishioners of SSJ. We bump into each other hoping not to be blinded by our own political, social, or religious beliefs. But I also have my share of those who not only resent what I do, but try to make it difficult for me to do it.

I’ve said it before many times: parishioners are not just angry because their pastor is an emotional tyrant and spiritual molester. They are angry because they have been lied to. They are angry because no one is listening. They are angry because the people in their church, people who should be helping them, have only caused them more suffering.

If you can move yourself to accept this, is it any wonder then why these faithful members of your own community grow suspicious of anyone who leaves comments that purport to speak of rights and reason while attempting to break their spirit? When you cannot acknowledge another’s pain you contribute to it.

I have no intention of getting into a spitting match with you or anyone else. I hold no interest in a tit-for-tat or back-and-forth exchange. My time is much too valuable to be spent disputing what someone else says. I suspect this might be true for you and so many others. If you want to help, if you truly want to be part of the solution, find a way to do it without hurting anyone, particularly those who have already been harmed.

Judge Judy
10/24/2018 07:18:24 pm

Disgusted, you should change your name to Hypocrite.

"I pray that I am able to see productive, and by productive I mean respectful, discussions on here in the future. And please don't misunderstand, I don't mean they can't be heartfelt and sometimes painful. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't come from a place of gracefulness."

Prior to that:

"Wow. You're that stupid aren't you?"

"Clearly you all are vile trash"

"Nice try though, idiot."

Those comments come from a place of "gracefulness"?

You're name calling is as bad as anything else on this blog. If you want to have a meaningful discussion, stop with the ad-hominem attacks and take your tone down a notch.

Better yet, start your own blog where you praise Barica and his mediocre photography. Let's see how much support you can drum up for him and his new P-R-I-N-C-I-P-A-L (not principle, FYI).

Disgusted
10/24/2018 09:33:12 pm

Judge Judy, I simply have to disagree with you. For years, literally yeas, the people on this blog have used it as a forum for hurting others. For causing unspeakable hurt both, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, on the people they have decided to smear. Now some of the people on this blog are in pain themselves, and I pray that they find healing. But inflicting the kind of suffering that they do on others, and then expecting not to be called out on it is just wrong. It has literally been years that you all have been attacking people. My few comments last evening were perhaps the first one anyone on this blog has read calling you all out for the despicable treatment of our fellow parishioners. Your comments should not be directed at me Judge Judy. They should be directed at the people on this blog who are not simply voicing their concern and their opinion. They should be directed at the mean spirited bullies who have been causing unspeakable pain these last years. I do pray that we all get through this. I think your comments to me are misguided, but not terribly hurtful to me. Hopefully you have not been hurtful to others on here. It seems that this group was shocked that someone was pointing out what has been going on for so long. As Paul pointed out to Observer last evening, there have pretty much been no alternative opinions on here. I look forward to your posts calling out the people who described Dr. O'Bannion in such hateful ways, or those who made up rumors about others in our parish that continue to haunt them. Will you have the decency to call them out or are you simply going to chastise me for my attempts at doing so. Oh, and for my typo as well (thank you for the correction).

Disgusted
10/24/2018 10:14:16 pm

Why do you have to make fun of his photography? Does that help move the debate forward? Ok, so you don't like it. Don't buy it. But a lot of people do like it. It's just snarky and unnecessary. You actual made fine points prior to that, even though I disagree with them obviously, but they are your points. But, then your credibility goes out the window when you actual made an ad hominem attack on Fr. Daniel after one sentence prior to that telling me not to. How does that work again?

Hypocrite
10/24/2018 10:23:54 pm

Judge Judy, I don't like this one as much as my other one. I'm going to go back to Disgusted. I tried though.

Judge Judy
10/25/2018 09:33:44 am

So calling people "stupid" "vile trash" and "idiot" is not mean spirited bullying? Talk about a loss of credibility!

I chime in on this blog once in awhile. I have no personal knowledge of any affair or theft. If I did, I would certainly post about it. However, I have not spread any rumors or said anything unkind on this blog. You appear to want to stifle people's First Amendment rights. If people are not happy with the administration at SSJ, they should be entitled to voice their opinions. If you are happy, that's fine, but don't expect people on this blog to agree with you.

My opinion of Barica's photography is just that, my opinion. Why should we all be subjected to his advertisements for his photography in the bulletin and the sale in Colman Hall during the festival? He's not a salesman, he is a priest. Never in my whole life have I ever seen a priest trying to make money off of his parish in this manner. Where does that money go? Does it go to help struggling parishioners? The homeless? Or does it go in Barica's pocket? Do you think it's acceptable for a priest to sell personal items to his (captive audience) parish?

Can Barica do any wrong in your eyes? Was the "sexual energy" homily acceptable to you?

With respect to the rumors on this blog, I actually agree with you on some points. I don't think name-calling helps anything (including by you). If the rumors are untrue, then those posting them are at risk of a lawsuit. If there was a rumor about my significant other fooling around with anyone, I would get to the bottom of it quick and hire a lawyer to sue them if it was not true. So, why hasn't there been any denial of the allegations of theft, infidelity, etc.? The fact that no one has denied the allegations, and no one has sued for defamation, is troubling to me.

I welcome other points of view. Do you have proof that the allegations of theft and the affair are untrue? How about Barica's yelling at parents and children? Is that untrue? How about the allegation that Barica selected the ($3 million) contractor for the parking lot based upon the donation back to the diocese? Do you know that these items are false? I would love to hear from you about it if you have such knowledge. Please enlighten all of us. All Judge Judy wants is the truth.

Observer
10/25/2018 09:49:45 am

Judge Judy. I think the profits from the photography goes to the.fransiscan retirement fund. I am sure this isn't audited but that is what they say. Weather his photography is good or not I think it is okay that he has a hobby outside of just being a priest.

Judge Judy
10/25/2018 10:00:39 am

I think it's fine for a priest to have a hobby also. But I do not agree that we should all be subjected to his hobby. If the money truly goes to the Franciscan retirement fund, then that is a good thing.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 01:16:21 pm

This is classic. Accuse somebody of something, and unless they PROVE it isn't true they are guilty. Guess what, that's not actually how it works. Do I really need to go over the "innocent until proven guilty" thing again.

Accuser - "You stole a bunch of money. Prove that you didn't. I said it, so it must be true."
Accused - "I'm not going to demean myself and bother with defending something that is baseless."
Accuser - "You see everyone, I told you he was a thief. If he wasn't he would spend hours, resources and drag everyone through the mud to prove to all of us that he isn't a thief. Even though I have never actually seen him steal anything, but only heard about it. But it must be true because he can't PROVE that he didn't. I told you."

And by the way Judge, you can stop saying that I approve of everything that Fr. Daniel does. I can't think of many people, if anyone, who I agree with all the time, even my spouse. I was going through my posts over the past days and guess what, I just can't seem to find the one where I say, "Hey everyone, Daniel is great. He's infallible. He can do no wrong. Follow him unquestioningly. Do as he says." I just can't find those posts. If you disagree with him, GREAT. Please do so respectfully, and with facts. That is what I have said and I CAN find those posts. That is what I am asking of everyone. Stop the rumors. They help no-one. Stop dragging people through the mud.

And seriously, you all need to re-read your first amendment. If you want to criticize the government, go ahead. But guess what, these are all private citizens, and not even public figures. Weebly, who owns this chat, is a private company. Slandering, terrorizing, bullying, spreading false rumors about private citizens does not count as being critical of the government. And Paul, before you accuse me, I am not trying to stifle anyone's speech; you guys can type til the cows come home. All I am asking is that you do it respectfully and with facts.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 01:18:58 pm

Observer, it is also my understanding that the proceeds of the photography go to the retirement fund. Judge, I think we MAY have found some common ground. You said that was a good thing, right?

Disgusted
10/25/2018 01:36:09 pm

Whatever you all think of me, I have to say this again, Observer is a rock star! That doesn't quite count for my one good comment about the parish for today, but its kind of a good thing, right?

Judge Judy
10/25/2018 06:57:54 pm

Disgusted aka Hypocrite:

I didn't accuse anyone of anything. I asked a series of questions to which you apparently do not have the answers.

I didn't SAY that you approve of everything that Barica does, I asked you a serious question. Why won't you answer my questions? Do you approve of his sexual energy homily?

You claim that all of the salacious posts on here are false, but I have seen nothing to show me that they are. I asked you if you had any information to refute the posts that you are calling slander. You provided no facts or information in response.

Your First Amendment argument makes no sense. To the extent a claim is made against Weebly or the host, the asserted defense would be the First Amendment bars the claims. Defamatory statements by the individual poster would not be covered. Statements of opinions would be. Truth is a defense to defamation. The First Amendment is not solely a defense to claims involving criticism of the government.

For someone calling for the facts, you do not seem to have any.

Judge Judy
10/26/2018 09:20:22 am

You are just wrong. To begin with, I asked you for facts that you have showing that these posts were defamatory. You failed to provide any facts to dispute the posts on this blog. I am keeping an open mind, and if there are any facts, I would love to hear them. It has nothing to do with "guilty until proven innocent." Do you have knowledge of facts or not? Since you have not provided anything to dispute the allegations, I will assume that you have no such facts. Do I believe everything on this blog? Of course not. Am I leaning toward believing that some of these entries contain accurate facts? When there are no denials, I tend to start thinking that some of the allegations could be true.

Second, on the First Amendment, only false statements of fact are subject to defamation; statements of opinion are protected by the First Amendment unless they imply a false assertion of fact.The First Amendment protects statements of rhetorical hyperbole, subjective views and conjecture, but not statements based on objectively verifiable facts. So, if a PRIVATE individual is sued for defamation by a PRIVATE individual, the First Amendment is a defense, without any implication of government involvement. Just as I had to correct your spelling, it appears that I have to correct you on the First Amendment also.

If someone says they saw Barica fooling around with someone on Space Mountain, and that was demonstrably false, there may be a defamation case. However, Diktator Daniel and evil witch are opinions and hyperbole, and are absolutely protected by the First Amendment.

Further, it has nothing to do with someone being banned from a website. We are talking about a defense to defamation. You continue to mix apples and oranges, refuse to provide any facts stating why these posts are false, and refuse to answer any questions.

Here is a link the the sexual energy comments that Barica put in the bulletin:

http://theworthyadversary.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Bulletin-6-7-15.pdf

Come on Disgusted! Is this acceptable to you? Do you want to support a priest who talks about this in front of kids? Disgusted is what comes to mind when I think about this man preaching in front of children.

Disgusted
10/24/2018 09:37:19 pm

Paul, there seems to be some misconception that I don't think people are in legitimate pain here at SSJ. There seems to be a theory that I think people aren't hurting. I have never said that. I don't believe it. I hope that everyone finds peace through healing. But, a person's pain does NOT give them the right to inflict additional pain on other, unsuspecting parishioners. That is not ok. Please, everyone, seek healing and solace. But, please stop harming others along your journey.

Disgusted aka Hypocrite
10/25/2018 11:02:16 pm

Hi Judge. It's actually me, Disgusted. I just threw in that Hypocrite part because you like it so much.

You're still on that guilty until proven innocent thing again aren't you? I slander John Doe for 6 months and unless and until John Doe proves what I am saying is false, he is guilty, guilty, guilty. I REALLY hope you aren't actually a judge.

And by the way, I actually think we are closer on the First Amendment thing that you think but with one exception.

I think "she's an evil witch!" is defamatory. You think it's an opinion.
I think "the pastor is fooling around with the principal on Space Mountain" is defamatory. You think it is a description of a yoga exercise. I think "More accurate description is Dicktator Daniel." is defamatory. You think it is an anatomical description.

We just approach this stuff from a different perspective I guess.

And by the way, the First Amendment is still about protecting people from the government. Not the private citizen thing you are hoping it is. Can't believe I have to do this, but we did stop teaching Civics a long time ago, so here goes:

https://www.cnn.com/2017/04/27/politics/first-amendment-explainer-trnd/index.html

For those of you who don't go to the site, here is the title of the article:

The First Amendment doesn't guarantee you the rights you think it does

Take a look at the first item, about social media. I'll summarize for you:

"So if, say, Twitter [or in our little corner of the world, Weebly] decides to ban you, you'd be a bit out of luck," Nott says. "You can't make a First Amendment claim in court."

You kids have to keep reading, even after you graduate. If you don't you start to forget things. Judy, you're not really a judge are you?

As to your question about the particular homily. I have to be honest, I was out of town and did not hear that particular one, but I will try to find it and listen to it and get back to you.

Disgusted
10/24/2018 11:18:24 pm

Paul, you wrote this just a few months ago, and you were correct in doing so. I assume you made good on your promise on that thread by removing her name. And yet, people continue to abuse this poor woman on this particular thread. That isn't right is it?

"Last month a parishioner alleged to be romantically involved with troubled pastor Daniel Barica of Saints Simon and Jude (SSJ) Catholic church in Huntington Beach was identified by name in a comment left on this site. When it was brought to my attention I immediately deleted it along with the person’s name."

observer
10/24/2018 06:59:37 pm

SSJ Divided. I very much appreciate your point of view and agree with a lot of what you said, I thought it was well written too. I do not want to be lumped in with any other person (or moniker) on here, I do not view myself as a supporter or detractor of any 'cause' that is mentioned. I prefer to form my own opinions based on facts.

The only other thing I will say at this time, and this is directed more toward the situation at the school than it is the church, I see those as two separate issues even though I appears most people are lumping them together, which is fine. The people that are mentioned weather it be Dr. O'Bannion or anyone else in the school administration are people too. I realize people are entitled to their opinion and have a right to speak their mind, Paul has even reiterated that fact in his posts which is his prerogative as it is his blog. But these people that are being talked about on here are real people with real feelings, no matter how much you dislike them, words can still hurt.

Before anyone assumes that I am part of the school or parish administration, I assure you that I am not. I am just an observer.

Disgusted
10/24/2018 09:18:19 pm

SSJ Divided, don't you see what you are doing? There is so much to discuss. You say that it is someone's opinion as to a person's competence or incompetence. That's fine. It is an opinion. But how is it an opinion as to a person's competence to call them an evil witch? That is not a measure of competence. That is just an attack. If someone wants to voice an actual opinion, have at it, show some facts and debate it. I think you will probably come out on the short end, but go ahead. Is it an opinion about her job performance when someone says she is a poor performance artist? It's not an opinion. It is just a smear.

I agree 100% with the comments made by Observer that people are lumping the school in with their feelings about the church, specifically about Fr. Daniel. It seems that members of the school, parents, moms, are getting trampled because people have hatred toward Fr Daniel. What you all are doing is ruining the lives and careers of people who you have decided to bring into your feud with Fr Daniel. They have children, spouses, careers. You should leave them out of your battle with Fr. Daniel.

Disgusted
10/24/2018 10:09:02 pm

SSJ Divided, it pains me to read your posts above. You do have many valid things to say and I appreciate much of your commentary. But then you ruin everything by continuing to spread the worst rumors that apparently have been perpetuated by Heather Blake. I don't know Heather Blake, but don't you people see, spreading a rumor about a school mom being in an adulterous relationship is just wrong. It is vile and wrong. I'm with you when you talk about fixing the issues with the school. And I mean legitimately fixing them. Who wouldn't be on board with that? But I'm not on board with how you denigrate Fr. Dan L. That man is borderline a saint. For all the good he has done for this parish and for you to reduce him down to a liar is just too much. I can't get over the fact that you write with such belief about something Heather Blake said, as if we are to take it as gospel or something. And she so casually destroys the life of a parish mom. How terrible.

He went to an R rated movie? What did he see, "Saving Private Ryan - Rated R"; The Passion of the Christ - Rated R; The Terminator - Rated R; The King's Speech - Rated R; Air Force One - Rated R; Planes, Trains and Automobiles - Rated R". Get the picture (pun intended).

You see, you just make a blanket statement and people will run with it. You have no context. You are just perpetuating rumors. If you disagree with the decisions to redo the parking lot, that's an honorable debate. But you must know that a lot of people are ecstatic about that decision. If you disagree about something, please yes, do speak up, and if it has to be anonymous, so be it, but I'm honestly begging you all, be like Observer, respectful, measured and sincere.

Disgusted
10/24/2018 10:38:46 pm

How about if everyone writes one thing positive about the church and/or the parish once a week on here? That might just help all of us on our paths toward healing. If we are writing loving things, we just MIGHT start to feel it inside. Ok, I'll start:

I just read that one of our parishioners is running for Huntington Beach School Board this year. Her name is Diana Marks. I don't know her personally, but her resume looks great, she has been in education for a good, long time, and I love that one of our parishioners could be on the Board next year. Good for her and good for our parish. Does anyone know her?

I have to tell you, if this catches on I might have to change my name. I hope it does.

Why??
10/24/2018 11:21:47 pm

How nice it would be to have a paish where everyone works together and is happy. Sad to say that is not what we have. We have people who are hurt, because our spiritual leader doesn't care about the pain we are in.
His staff doesn't care. From my personal experience they only pay lip service . I saw first hand the emotional distress caused by Daniel's indifference . I experienced the backlash for speaking up.
If you want to be disgusted ask Daniel what he did to Parking Lot Guy. Ask why our Jewish neighbors are no longer welcome. Ask why he was traveling while Fr. Christian was dieing. Why didn't he come back sooner. Why is he always taking trips? Why doesn't he show a modecum of humility.
Ask him about yelling at children. Ask why the Easter Egg hunt was changed. Ask why his neighbor dislikes him. Ask him to answer why we are in debt? Why does he say other religions are a cult?
When these questions are truthfully answered maybe then we can begin to heal.
Not having a child in the school I can't comment to that. But when so many parents are upset and we hear about their children being afraid there is an issue. HIS ACTIONS must be above reproach if he is supposed to be an example. Yes he should be held to a higher standard.
I'm not abandoning my parish but I will not donate one penny more until we are told Why.
Disgusted go ahead be angry with the people posting their views, but ask yourself WHY so many are upset and WHY Daniel doesn't answer us.
He owes us answers as do the rest of the church leaders.

Why??
10/24/2018 11:40:19 pm

Thank you SSJ Divided for pointing these things out. I see your point about the principal.
Disgusted needs to call himself/herself Enabler.
Why hasn't Dan spoken up?

Enabler
10/24/2018 11:47:43 pm

It just doesn't work for me Why??. Back to the drawing board.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 01:33:03 pm

Why?? let me conjure a few guesses as to why Dr. Dan L has not spoken up about all of this:
1) I'm going to make up a number here, but I suspect that the 40 or so people on this blog represent probably 1/2 of 1 percent of the combined congregations of Santa Barbara and Huntington Beach and maybe less than that. I suspect that he is concentrating on the extremely important, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes difficult issues that present themselves to the 99.95% of the two congregations. The people on this blog are really a small group. I'm sorry to tell you that, but you are. You're very vocal, and you are causing a great deal of harm, but you are a pretty small group. The vast majority of the people between here and Santa Barbara have never heard of you. I have, because you are harming people. But most people are just taking their kids to soccer practice, taking their elderly parents to the doctor, and don't have time for the Harper Valley PTA rumor mill that you all have started.

Disclaimer Alert: If you have an issue and you are hurting, I fully support you in your healing and I pray for you and I send my love out to you. Please seek guidance, prayer and please find a way to heal. But please don't harm others along the way.

It is my suspicion, have not spoken with him, that he not bringing himself down to this level, because it really is a pretty low place. I suspect the same goes for Daniel. That's just a guess though.

Disgusted Paradox
10/25/2018 01:38:27 pm

"Disgusted" purpose, IN MY OPINION, is simply to exhaust and distract people on this site. She (once again only MY OPINION, I don't actually know who this is, but have an educated hunch) employs classic good cop / bad cop tactics, makes threats then tries to team build, uses vile and abusive language then calls out those who have done so and shames them, etc... I am definitely not advising anyone what to do, but the best approach for me is to simply ignore and filter out "Distracted" it's a waste of time and effort.
The only good thing of "Disgusted"'s recently assault on this blog is the realization that while this blog serves as a cathartic place for many, there will probably be little tangible result. Those who have something meaningful to communicate need to find a way to do so. To that end, I'd like to ask the group: are there people in the Diocese that people can go to? I'd like to do that, and I have FACTUAL things to share, but I would be lying if I wasn't concerned about repercussions. Not about me... I'd take this fight to the gates of hell, if needed, but my child, who attends SSJ doesn't need to become collateral damage here. "Disgusted" you can say whatever you want about civil discourse, but I've WITNESSED retribution and retaliation in more than one instance.
My apologies if such a list of contacts have already been shared, I would really be interested to hear if anyone has come in contact with someone that can be trusted to at least listen and not retaliate.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 09:55:32 pm

Let me see if I have this right,
It is "exhausting" for me to ask you to be civil and respectful in your comments about the members of the school and this parish. And it is "distracting" for me to ask you stop spreading vicious rumors, but instead to engage in meaningful, respectful discourse in your attempt to heal, or to get personal help or to help the community.

So, I guess the opposite would be true then. Spreading hate and viciously attacking people gives you energy. And dealing in conjecture and falsehoods helps you focus. I got it.

Once again though, we have the same theme going on. Most of the people on this blog beat up on, and I mean viciously beat up on, members of our community for months and months. You spread rumors, falsehoods, say vile things, and when one person dares to get on here and answer back, just a little bit, I am accused of shaming you. That's just plain funny. By the way, that is what bullies do. You had your fun for all these months. You bullied a bunch of people. And when you are called on it, you say, "Hey, why are you being so mean to me? I'm allowed to be mean, but you aren't. That's not nice Disgusted. You have to let me be as mean as I want and the people I'm bullying just have to take it."

Ummm. No.

YRP
10/25/2018 06:10:00 pm

My advice is for everyone is to write to Apostolic Nuncio‎: ‎Archbishop Christophe Pierre

Perhaps if enough of the people who have been victimized in any way reach out to him, he will be able to step in and help to resolve the issues. It seems obvious that no one in our diocese will or can do anything. The goal is not to unjustly hurt or damage Daniel but to heal the parish community. By saying that I am no by any means trying to justify minimize or excuse his behavior. I agree with you the man needs help and has hurt far too many people myself included. Please keep your letters to the point. We need him to take this seriously.
Should you decide to write him, please be respectful of his position.
He is a the representative of the Pope to our country.
Address it as so:
His Excellency, the Most Reverend Archbishop Christophe Pierre

Apostolic Nuncio

Apostolic Nunciature of the Holy See

3339 Massachusetts Avenue N.W.

Washington DC 20008

Disgusted
10/25/2018 09:45:14 pm

100% agree that the goal should be to heal the community, but this seems to be about a particular issue with a particular child. Is it at all possible though that you can get some help here at SSJ? OK, so you are just getting to know the new principal (thank you again for the spell check Judge Judy) and you aren't sure you trust her yet, but how about the Assistant Principal, or your child's teacher. The assistant principal is the school's version of Fr. Dan L in my experience. She is an amazing lady and if you try to say that she won't be kind to you, won't listen to you and won't try to help you, then you will again, have lost all credibility. Also, please name me a teacher at this school who wouldn't bend over backward to help your child. Actually, strike that, don't NAME anyone. There has been too much of that, remember SSJ Divided? I imagine that you CAN get satisfaction from the new principal, but if you still aren't sure you should try the others I mentioned. The individuals at the school are not only professional, but they are some of the most caring individuals you will find anywhere, and I mean anywhere, and I defy you do claim otherwise.

But, if you decide not to go that route, why stop at the Nuncio:

His Holiness, Pope Francis
Apostolic Palace
00120 Vatican City

Saddened
10/25/2018 06:44:47 pm

What kind of organization sends out a SSJ Parent survey that is supposed to be confidential and then gets rid of families (with children) because they cannot handle the responses? The survey request mentioned transparency for the "new journey" and then they kick out families? Really? That is unethical and cruel on many levels. This never would have happened with Crystal as principal. She CARED about people, not power. This throwing away of families who have spend thousands of dollars and time does not reflect SSJ Hospitality. What kind of Catholic Christian leadership is that? Poor leadership. This new leadership has DEVASTATED families.
The answer is not just prayer but action! Faith without works is dead.

"Disgusted" is most likely part of the new PR team and/or someone with a lot of time on his/her hands who enjoys toying with people and causing mayhem and intimidation. This person may be more than one person. Just disregard him/or her.
.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 10:39:20 pm

More unfounded rumors:

"The school got rid of families because they couldn't handle the responses". That's right, you are all on here saying how bad the school is doing financially, and now you are saying they would just casually toss aside families because of how they fill out an ANONYMOUS survey. That would be a good trick Saddened. I had this sent to me so that I could check how the survey went out:

"This survey is confidential and does not require a signature."

I understand that you can put your name if you wish, but that you aren't required to.

And yet again, not dealing in facts. Have you ever, just once, just for a nano-second taken the time to think that if a family was asked to leave there might, and I mean just might, be another side to the story? You make it sound like the staff woke up one day, looked at their quota of families that had to be kicked out and just started expelling families. Apparently, according to you, Mrs. Smith was the lynch-pin holding the whole thing together. Without her, everything is a disaster. For the record, I have always gotten along very well with Crystal. I consider her a friend. But the totality of the school and the church is why the kids go to SSJ, not one individual. It's my understanding that, with a couple of exceptions of course, the staff is basically the same as it was last year. And seriously, don't tell me that Russ Smith is gone. I know that. But the school was more than Crystal Smith and Russ Smith. It defies logic that someone sent in a bad survey and someone at the school said, "that's it, bring that family in. They're out. They can't tell us that the students have to wear the proper shoes. Get 'em out today!"

Do you think there might just be some information that you aren't privy to? Maybe? Just maybe?

And you did it again. I'm not part of the new PR department, although I do know the person heading up that effort. She is amazing and has been a devoted parishioner for years and years. But now it seems as though you are going to attack the PR group. How does the comment that I might be part of the PR team help any of this by the way? It's just another snarky comment. And it's the same attempt at trying to make me stop providing a balanced message.

How about writing your comment like this instead:

Good evening everyone, I wanted to let you all know that an anonymous survey was sent out by the school today. I found out that a friend's family has recently been asked to leave the school, and the mom of that family believes it may have something to do with her survey responses. I told her that I received the same survey but that it was my understanding that it was confidential. I suggested that she make an appointment with the principal and maybe the assistant principal and voice her concern and see if there is a way they can come to an understanding so that her children could stay at the school. If it turns out to be accurate that her comments on the survey did lead to her family being asked to leave that I would be willing to go speak on her behalf and to tell the staff what a great family I think they are. I also told her that I would pray for her and her family, and I ask you to do that same."

But nope. We get a version of Al Capone in the Untouchables:
"I want em gone! I want their kids gone! I want em out today!!"

The picture you paint of the staff defies logic. These are dedicated, hard working people who have given up job offers and opportunities where they could be making twice as much money by going to teach somewhere else, but instead they just want to stay here because of the power. Just doesn't make sense Saddened.

I suspect there are details your friend isn't telling you. But honestly, and I mean this sincerely, I get it. It's human nature. They have to blame someone else. I get it. They can't be honest with you and tell you that they were partially, or totally, to blame. They have to make it out like the school is horrible. Total human nature for them to do that, especially when they are angry and hurting. But I would hope that you would have the good sense to take a step back, listen to them, hug them, pray for them, but at the same time realize that you probably don't have the whole story.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 09:56:54 pm

And just because I know I will be falsely accused:

Disclaimer Alert: If you have an issue and you are hurting, I fully support you in your healing and I pray for you and I send my love out to you. Please seek guidance, prayer and please find a way to heal. But please don't harm others along the way.

Disgusted
10/25/2018 11:32:23 pm

Now, this is just my opinion, and [not trying to steal your thunder Observer] an observation, but I was re-reading one of the posts from last evening between me and SSJ Divided and something struck me that I think is important to point out. Read the tone of SSJ Divided's posts up until the one where I wrote that " I know you and this is not who you are.' Read the next message by SSJ Divided and notice how the tone of that next post was decidedly less hostile, less strident, much more reasonable. I don't know that I agree with that post either, but the tone is what is important. It is almost as if he was thinking, "Oh, no, I'm not as anonymous on here as I think I am. People could very well find out who I am. What if Disgusted calls me by my real name?" And maybe it was a little jarring for him. Now think about what it must feel like for the people on this blog who have been "outed", shamed, defiled. The ones who have ACTUALLY had their names dragged through the mud. Maybe SSJ Divided got a few moments, just a tiny bit, of what they have been going through, and it brought him back to a big of civility. Again, not saying I agree with the message in the last post either, but maybe he walked just a few feet in someone else's shoes.

I pray that this does NOT result in you reacting and blasting anyone as a result SSJ Divided. My intention in this post is simply to point out that some very innocent people have been hurt these many months by having their names included on this blog.

WAY to early to tell, because I don't think we have turned a corner yet, and I don't even know if I can see the corner, but I think there might be a corner up there somewhere. I'm hoping we find it, and turn it.

SSJ Ghost now
10/26/2018 12:42:01 am

Best decision ever! Run run run away to save the mental peacefulness & increase education standards!!! I’m insanely disgusted your false comments & defensive lies are still allowed on this blog. I’m insanely disgusted that “ Disgusted” is still allowed to speak on this blog. As a very affected parent who’s kids have had to leave school after several years of dedication and established friends forced to leave the school - which affects my long term life goals for my children to have a kindergarten to 8th grade school with established friends like I did .. not only that but it affects every child in my children’s classes (I had multiple kids in SSJ that I pulled after starting another faithful year in a community I entrusted to protect, provide accelerated education and teach characteristics that carry them through life.

You are disgusting disgusted and I hope people realize the harm and explosions you are causing in a faith filled community. Your demeanor will be your demise. You are breaking everything left.

I was faith filled, honest, gave constructive feedback and was put on your attack list even my youngest kids were your first targets. You are all sick. Anyone in this parish should run coming from a strong Irish Catholic family with Jesuits al Loyola Marymount in my family and many more on the Church.

SSJ Ghost
10/26/2018 12:55:01 am

Your blog is the most valid description albeit a blog absolutely facts. It’s crumbling with this defensive disgusted who obviously is not following any rules you have set out and reiterated and has alterior motives and a deterant to help her already extremely destructive behavior at the school.

I feelbowlike im talking directly to the Heartless careless destructive to our kids without recourse for her actions O directcly again... whatever her agenda itsonly self serving... kids are suffering crying at home and at school and at new schools they are forced to start by her hateful hand..

She just cry’s about her & DB’s feelings. But they are paid to join & inspire over 4000 people mostly children eager to learn! When will you speak up to this extreme injustice!?

Disgusted
10/26/2018 01:31:59 am

Good evening SSJ Ghost. Clearly I can see that you are very angry. You seem to imply that I am someone I am not however. I do not work at the school, or the church, nor have I ever worked at the school or the church. So, your children were not put on my attack list and were not my first targets. But, with all due respect, I simply do not believe that your children were put on anyone's attack list. It clearly sounds like you have left the school, or you were asked to leave the school, but you are 100% exhibiting what I posted about earlier. You have had an experience that, in your opinion, is a bad one. You are also asking that we completely believe your side of the story, without any questions asked. We are to accept that SSJ Ghost left the school; it was all the school's fault; SSJ Ghost did nothing at all to deserve it, etc etc. It is hard for us to evaluate your story because we will never have the other side. Your story may be 100% true, 100% false, somewhere in the middle, somewhere not in the middle. None of us will ever know. The school is not likely to jump on here and give there side, so what we can do is this. We can pray for you to find peace. We can pray for your children to succeed wherever they are going to school now. And if there have been mistakes made by the school we can pray for their guidance as well. None of us knows your name, or your circumstance, so the best we can do is to pray for you.

I think the difference between my approach and to the approach that I see from many of you all is that I believe the staff members at the school basically have a very full moral bank account. You know the concept of bank accounts; you have money in there, something happens, you can pay for it, and you still have a positive balance. If you do not have money in the account and something happens, you are overdrawn, and you have a negative balance. In my opinion, and my experience, the school and the staff have nurtured and developed literally thousands and thousands of young students in both their faith and in the academic curriculum. Some of the students have gone on to lead extraordinary lives, and have literally changed the world. Those same people who are out there changing the world right now, have literally come from the tutelage of the staff at this school. Obviously I know there have been changes over the years, in terms of retirements and other teachers being replaced. Are there some teachers that have needed to be replaced. Absolutely. And I have faith that those replacements were made with God's guidance. Are there changes that still need to be made? Possibly. Are there changes that will need to be made in the future. Most assuredly. But none of that diminishes the fact that this school has an extremely full moral bank account. SSJ Ghost, I know that you are hurting. I know that you are angry. But I, and hopefully others on this blog will do as I suggested earlier; we can offer our love to you; we can offer our prayers to you; all the while realizing that we do not know the other side of the story, i.e. the school's side, and we likely never will. I wish you peace as you begin your new journey at your new school.

Not Disgusted on this one
10/26/2018 01:48:10 am

Had to make a change to the name because here is my good thought for the day and it didn't make sense to call it Disgusted. I went to the school's Facebook page this evening just to see it, and I noticed a picture on the front page and the picture is titled "San Damiano Cross Lesson with Fr. Daniel in honor of St. Francis". Here is what I see in that picture; I see 10 children [Fr. Daniel is not in the picture] and out of the 10 children 5 of them have the biggest smiles on their faces. And, out of the 10 children 4 of them have their hands raised, which tells me they were engaged in the lesson.

Now, I don't know about you, but how many 4th graders, 3rd graders, or whatever young grade, would you expect to be so engaged and so happy to get a lecture about a particular kind of cross? And yet, these kids are. They look happy. They look safe. They look engaged. And apparently this was a good interaction between Fr. Daniel and the kiddos. That's good stuff people.

Have a wonderful evening everyone.

Barf
10/26/2018 03:40:13 pm

Barf.

SSJ Ghost
10/26/2018 01:50:36 am

Disgusted

You have sent me emails with exactly the same words & tones and exactly paragraph structure.

Your blogs are absolutely bs to defend your giant blog comments of bull shit! You don’t know me so your last several paragraphs degrading me & assumptions and intimidation are bully behavior as the exact reason I removed my kids from the military cult sadness you are imputing on the school. My communication from you was just as ignorant, immature and rude as above. God blessed me to see this and bless my children with better education better leadership and examples
God bless us all.

Disgusted
10/26/2018 03:07:19 am

Nope

SSJ Ghost
10/26/2018 02:07:39 am

If you watch your children shower before school scared about warnings, if you watch your children at a private school have a public school curriculum, if you watch your children embarrassed in class by the new principal trying to make herder feel important.
If your not disgusted yet that means you are still being your sick self and care nothing about our community or kids. I am not mad as you say. I am absolutely happy seeing my family happiest ever with a decision you disgustingly are proud to force families to. You can say it’s not you, but my communication with you over 6 months is apparent. You are the only one who responds like this on over 30 years of business! Obviously it it going to come back and bite you. You are word for word as the exact emails from Dr. O but I’m a psychologist. You are as ridiculous as the decisions you make

Disgusted
10/26/2018 03:05:27 am

SSJ Ghost. Wow. Just wow.
Not sure what to tell you. I'm not Dr. O'Bannion. Never have been. Never will be. Keep telling yourself that but it will never be true. It's just the same tired tactic so many of you use on here. Whenever anyone peeks their head up to ask a question, or to rebut your rumors, you try to chop it off by saying, this must be Fr. Daniel; This must be the principal; This must be someone who works for him or for her; It's somebody from PR. You're trying to scare me away. I understand. That is your way. I'm simply a parishioner who is watching you spew a bunch of one-sided angry words, while giving no facts whatsoever, and I'm simply asking the group here, isn't it true that in every argument there are two sides? The colloquialism "there are two sides to every story" exists for a reason. Maybe you are right. Maybe you are 100% innocent and the school is 100% to blame. I highly doubt it, but you have chosen to air your experience in such a way that only one side, one extremely angry side, can be heard. That's your right, but it doesn't make it right.

I actually don't know who you are, I've never sent you an email. I've never met you to my knowledge. You are in a very painful state, but my posts above were not only not demeaning, they were prayerful and loving. And yet they were met with anger, hate and spitefulness. You, being a psychologist, should see this.

Shame on Disgusted
10/26/2018 09:04:24 am

Father Daniel enablers like Disgusted surround him with protection and attack anyone who says a word. Pretty soon anyone upset will be labeled a “hater”. This is how 1% of the population controls the 99% who do not agree with someone else’s viewpoint. I was with my kids in church for his sexual energy homily. I wanted to cover their ears but I did not want to make a scene. He should have been made responsible for what he said. I saw what he told the congregation in other homilies or meetings…love in a hotel room, drinking, anxiety attacks and viewing other religions as cults. Our Jewish friends are not welcome any more. Father Christian must be rolling in his grave for saying this after all the effort he made to bring religions together.
Watch, Disgusted will answer this with a bunch of paragraphs attacking how I feel and try to blame everyone but Father Daniel for why families left. Megyn Kelly got fired for talking about a Halloween costume but with all the priest news of today, I can’t understand why nothing happens to Father Daniel over his much more sensitive comments. At minimum, he should not be around children for saying these things. Even enabler Disgusted should be appalled over what he said but watch, she will try to protect him again by misdirecting us like a magician. Or call us haters.

Disgusted
10/26/2018 11:29:30 am

Going to try this again, and again, and again.

I'm NOT, NOT, NOT attacking how you feel. If you feel pain, I support you. There, you see, not attacking how you feel. It's the communication that has become objectionable. If you call someone an evil witch, that is not an expression of how you feel, that is a smear and a mean spirited comment, and it needs to be called out as such.

I love your comment about the 1% of the population controlling the 99%. Presumably you mean that I would be the 1%. But the crazy thing is, there are thousands and thousands of parishioners who are pretty dang happy. Your comment is actually very accurate, but you have the groups backward. This group would be the 1% who is trying to control the 99% of (basically) happy parishioners. I wish you could see that. Do this, one day after mass just sit and grab a donut and watch the line of people waiting to talk with Fr. Daniel or Fr. Vincent or Fr. Dan L when he is in town. EVERY mass. EVERY Saturday and Sunday. Lines of people waiting to say, "Thank you Fr., great homily." or "Fr., can you help me, my mother is sick and may be passing." or "How is your photography hobby coming along? I know Judge Judy doesn't like it, but I do."

I also think I might need a second disclaimer - Not enabling Fr. Daniel.

There are going to be things that he does that we all disagree with. Such is life. I'm going to go out on a really far limb here, but I suspect that every single one of the people on this blog disagreed with something their closest loved one did this week, or this month. Your closest loved one; Your spouse, your child, your parent, your best friend. You disagreed with something they did. You can't imagine why they did it. You probably even got mad. But I'll also bet that you didn't call someone up and say, "'Do you know this evil witch that I live with did?" You didn't call your friend and say, my husband did such and such. I bet he's having an affair with someone on a ride at Disneyland." You didn't do that because it would be horrific. You talked with them. You said your piece. Maybe you even yelled a little. But then you figured it out, or maybe you even agreed to disagree, but then you hugged it out and realized that God has a greater plan for both of you.

Not enabling. Not attacking your feelings. Just hoping that you can be civil. If all you do is hate and all you have is anger, your pain will never go away. You will never find a solution to what you seek.

Disgusted Paradox
10/26/2018 12:57:04 pm

Disgusted, I think you must be getting paid by the word. You twist the narrative to suit your interests. I for one feel that you have an agenda that differs from civility and support. I know that those words are woven into your unnecessarily long posts, but that's not my takeaway. You're filled with condescension and arrogance and employ your own version of abusive language to boot. Sure, you throw in a positive nugget here and there and try to complement select people (as if you've been appointment the moral barometer of this site, more arrogance), but what I hear coming through in the end is ‘shut up, shut up, shut up and accept your fate under the new regime’. Of course, I can’t be sure, but your level of sudden involvement seems well beyond altruism and coming to the perceived defense of others. No, there is something more at play; something much less honorable.

I stand by my recommendation to all to disengage and ignore you. I realize that has little chance of stopping your unhelpful and long posts, but the more you post the more you will reveal about your true intentions so ‘knock yourself out’, as they say. (I for one, find the timing of your posts interesting. It further supports who I think you are. If I’m right, unlike you, I have no intention of using that information as a weapon (see one of your original posts), but your timing, coupled with your style and certain references are all but painting the picture.) For me, regardless of what sharp retort you may craft and aim at my direction, I’m putting you in my rearview mirror. So, goodbye to you.

Here is an interesting thought about a way to measure how many people are happy and how many are not, at least at the school. For those associated with the school, commit to forgoing the auction this year. A meaningful drop in attendance will be impactful. It will be measurable. And it will be realized in the very near term. If that happens it will be obvious that there is a problem. If it doesn’t, well then ‘Disgusted’ can post here about this issue only affecting the less than 1% of the group, and then perhaps she’ll be right about something. Let’s let the auction serve as the proxy for how people feel and how they’ve been treated.

Shame on Disgusted
10/26/2018 02:08:31 pm

Thank you Disgusted Paradox. Just like I said, Disgusted replied with a bunch of paragraphs to confuse and misdirect. She says I feel your pain but then says thousands of people are happy, as if our pain is wrong. There is no way for her to tell us how many are happy without a survey. But people with bad reviews would get kicked out like they did with the school families. The bottom line is if people were so happy, we would not have the lowest school enrollment ever.

Disgusted Paradox
10/26/2018 03:45:39 pm

Regarding the survey, there is a big difference between CONFIDENTIAL and ANONYMOUS. I believe Disgusted is misinformed or is drawing conclusions that aren't there when she indicated that the survey was anonymous. That is not mentioned anywhere in any of the communication that went out.

Disgusted
10/26/2018 08:32:49 pm

Actually, hate to have to do this again, but you are misconstruing my words yet again. No need to argue about it though. I can just be more clear. So, here is what I am saying and maybe more importantly what I am NOT saying. What I am NOT saying is that your pain is wrong. Did you get that? I am NOT saying your pain is wrong. It's your pain. What I AM saying is that the picture so many of you are trying to paint of this parish is wrong. You paint a picture of desolation, of widespread heartache. Judging by your description this parish is a moral cesspool. But, that's not the picture I see. I see an amazing music program that only seems to be growing in both size and recognition. I see a 5:00pm mass with hundreds of teenagers with a ton of energy and faith. I see a 9:30am family mass with a bunch of beautiful little ones sitting on the altar listening to Fr. during the homily. Are you in pain? I guess so. Are there another 20-30 people on here who are in pain? OK. All validated. Again, your pain is your pain. But there literally are 1000's of people in this parish, and the painful part is just one facet of a much broader picture. And on the contrary, I am not the blind one. I see the bad, but I also see the good. It seems that many of the people on here just see the bad. But, that is why I am posting my good SSJ news every day. Perhaps with more and more posts like that we will be able to temper some of the bad with a lot of the good. And more than anything, regardless of your pain, which again, is yours to own, it is how you express it that is so objectionable.

Disgusted
10/26/2018 08:49:27 pm

Shame on me (Disgusted), I can't let you do it. I can't let you spread baseless rumors without calling you on it. I am 100% sure that you have ZERO evidence that any families have been kicked out of the school because they have sent in bad reviews on a survey. And yet you state it with the ease of which you breathe. But that does not make it true. Just because you wrote it down does not make it true Shame on Me. Now, I'm going to do the same thing that you did. I'm going to state something that I don't actually have the facts on. I'm going to state with absolute certainty, that a family's responses on a survey were NOT the reason they were asked to leave the school. So, there we have it, two opposing views, and neither of us has the absolute facts:

Yours - a school with low enrollment hires a new principal to turn things around, to boost enrollment; she hires a marketing director who assembles a team to boost enrollment, and then they promptly start dismissing paying families because of responses to a survey. Hmmm.

Mine - a school with low enrollment hires a new principal to turn things around, to boost enrollment; she hires a marketing director who assembles a team to boost enrollment, and a few families leave the school or are asked to leave the school based on issues having absolutely nothing to do with an anonymous and confidential survey that went out.

You are reading this thinking, absolutely, that's just what those despicable people did. Unfortunately, most people read this and opt for door number 2. Shame on Me, how does your theory work for those families who left or were asked to leave before the survey went out, or before the results were in? That kind of throws a wrench in your theory doesn't it?

I thought we discussed this, but I was hoping we could stop the rumors. And for your friend who is angry and claims that their confidential responses on an anonymous survey got her in trouble, I thought you were going to hug on her, pray for her, and help her with her journey at the new school. Isn't that what we were going to try to do? Or was it just me?

Virginia Jones
10/26/2018 10:39:00 am

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

My autistic son and I were groomed by Gus Krumm at Ascension Catholic Church in Portland, Oregon. My son did not feel comfortable around most adults so when Gus Krumm paid lots of attention to him, I was grateful. After Gus Krumm was removed from Ascension, I was treated abominably by the Franciscans and honestly the victims's assistants for the church were more concerned with keeping things quiet than in helping the healing process. I love the Franciscan charism embodied by the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. I am also a child sex abuse survivor and two time date rape survivor. Healing from abuse and what the church did to my family is a long, slow process. I understand the righteous anger here. I have been on the side of the church before I came to terms with the fact that Gus Krumm really was an abusive priest and not the caring man he was to my son. He did not abuse my son because the clergy abuse scandal exploded and he was accused and was removed. Eventually I switched sides to be more sympathetic to survivors of clergy sex abuse. But there is more than one form of clergy abuse as the people here know. The church harmed my children in ways that will take way too much time to explain here. The harm is still felt today in the lives of my children. If anyone has a right to be angry at the Catholic Church and the Franciscans, I do, but anger destroys relationships. Eventually Fr. Armando Lopez became one of my biggest supporters in supporting survivors of clergy abuse. He went through my anger too, but he was compassionate. His compassion helped me heal although I worked really hard on myself too. The reality is anger can be expressed in ways that are abusive. The path out of this pain is in Non-violent Communication, mindfulness, distress tolerance and emotion regulation taught in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, and in cultivating compassion for each other. Sit with your anger, acknowledge it, understand it, cradle it lovingly and then move it away from your heart to make room for something else such as compassion. Pray for those who hurt you. What would Jesus and St. Francis do? I used to hold priests on pedestals as holy men. Most of them fell off their pedestals. The reality is St. Francis viewed third order Franciscans, the lay people who try to live the Franciscan charism in their lives, as closest to his heart. The church leadership keeps saying the people are the church. Express you anger but in ways that are respectful and compassionate to the needs and feelings of others. You know what my greatest grief is? I think that the Catholic Church and the Franciscan charism in particular can bring peace to this earth. Unfortunately the leadership of the Franciscans got caught up in clericalism too. I feel grief over the self destruction of the Catholic Church. More than anything I wanted the Church and the Franciscans to listen to understand the deep pain of people's wounds taking place in the church. Fr. Armando did that for me privately. Can we publicly listen to each other with compassion?

Disgusted
10/26/2018 11:12:15 am

Mrs. Jones this is a beautiful post. Thank you.

Lopez
10/26/2018 04:31:45 pm

Thank Miss Virginia. Our church had father Gus. I read things A.F. tells on this page on August 18 and it brings back painful things. I am sad they moved Gus to you. I don’t think they say to you what happen before he came to you. I read this it looks like father Barica moved around too. He tells things and makes people mad at other churches and they say leave. Can we do this? I don’t see bishop say about what they will do to help any sad here. Maybe counsel us? Just a few like that and we need help. Maybe they want to wait to lose more kids first. This does not feel like catholic church.

Why???
10/26/2018 06:30:04 pm

May I ask why our Jewish Neighbors are no longer welcome. Is the upcoming interfaith event at SSJ just a front? Do those leaders know that Daniel believes all other religions are a cult? Why don't we ask them?
I will be writing to the Nuncio as well as his Holiness to tell them of the blatant emotional abuse of this community.
Disgusted ,I truly wish that I could be as blind as those 100s of parishioners you state are happy. I am sure you mean well but you are part of the problem. If Daniel is so innocent then encourage him to address these issues, have the principal do the same. Sure it will be a heated discourse but it needs to be done for all of us including Daniel to begin to heal. A town hall type of meeting with a mediator who is totally unbiased. Wishful thinking I know

Disgusted
10/26/2018 09:35:33 pm

Why??? It's a good question that you pose. On the one hand there is an interfaith Rise Against Hunger event at the parish on Saturday, the 27th, tomorrow actually, and on the other hand we are asked to believe that our Jewish neighbors are not welcome. Why??? I am sensing that you might be questioning these rumors a little. Why would someone, or a lot of someones, say over and over and over again that our Jewish neighbors are not welcome, Fr. Daniel chased them out, Fr. Christian would be spinning in his grave, but Oh yes, they will be here on Saturday the 27th for an interfaith council event.
As the saying goes, who are you supposed to believe, these baseless rumors or your own lyin eyes. Doesn't really make sense does it Why??? Maybe, just maybe, it was all a rumor. Fr. Daniel has not chased our Jewish neighbors out of here, and this is just something else used to smear the parish.

With regard to a public forum, that's an interesting idea. But, unless I am mistaken, I believe the principal has held two public forums already this year to listen to parents, answer the rumors, dispel untruths. You might just want to read some of the posts above. Start around October 15 or 16. She pretty much got savaged by the people on this blog. Absolutely destroyed. I love the idea of communication. I absolutely do. Help me understand how to stem the tide of a group of ruthless bloggers at this parish who retreat to this platform after the public forum and spew their hate. I would love to have meaningful debate about things. I'm trying to do that here. But seriously, go back and read the things that were written just after the last public forum the principal had. It's classic:

"Have a public forum. We want to be heard"
"Are you sure, those can get kind of heated"
"We want a meeting! We want a meeting!"
Meeting is held. It's a little heated. Pretty emotional. Parties assume they are making progress
Later that night...
"She's evil! She's a witch! She's stupid! We hate her!"
"Why wont' she have another public forum!!!"
"She must be guilty!"

I would say it seems kind of silly, if it weren't EXACTLY what happened just these past few weeks. I look forward to your post where you ask this group to modify its behavior. Cheers, Why???

Disgusted
10/26/2018 10:01:15 pm

Wow. This one might just take the cake. A couple of nights ago I tried to write a very positive message about something that happened at the school, in this case a class taught by Fr. Daniel about the San Damiano Cross. So many of you scream and cry and try to tear the parish down and say that Daniel is evil, the principal is evil, parish moms are evil. He needs to be nicer to the children. He's an abuser. And then something unexpected happens. You get what you want. You get an example of Daniel speaking to the children in a very positive way. You literally have photographic proof of smiling, engaged children. And how do you react:

Barf10/26/2018 03:40:13 pm

Barf

The reason that this blog, and most of the people on it, are not respected by this parish, and trust me you are not, is because of this garbage. If you actually wanted to make positive change, when you saw the change you are seeking, you would not react with, "Barf". Apparently, it literally makes you sick to get what you want. It literally makes you sick to see Daniel positively interacting with the students. It literally makes you sick to have him do exactly what you are asking of him. That's why you have no credibility. You aren't actually interested in improving anything. You are actually just interested in tearing people and this institution down because it validates some feeling that you have that you don't want to take personal accountability for.

Oh, but you say, that's just Barf's post. We didn't post that. You can't blame us for what Barf posted. Oh really? As far as I can tell only one post is calling out Barf for this disgusting behavior; This post. Are their 20 or 30 posts decrying Barf's despicable comment; Telling Barf to back off because in this instance Daniel is doing EXACTLY what you are all crying out for? Do I see 20 or 30? Do I see 10? 5 posts? Do I see ANY posts? No, because your goals are not to build up, they are to tear down. And before you push back even more, why don't you read the dozens of posts accusing people who don't say anything of being complicit. Fr. Dan L is complicit. Dr. O is complicit. Coleen is complicit. The Bishop. Fr. Ryan, Fr. Michael. They are all enablers. According to you all, if you don't say anything you are just as bad as the abuser, right? That's what YOU said. Those are the rules YOU made. You even asked me to change my name to Enabler. Well, what about it? Everyone else is an enabler if they don't speak up, right? Everyone else is complicit and just as bad if they don't speak up, right? Or does that just apply to the people you hate? Look in a mirror people. Judge Judy, I guess this would be your definition of hypocrite, right?

Barf, quite literally, you are disgusting. I won't hold my breath for anyone else to chime in with me. According to YOUR own rules, you are all just complicit enablers. Oh, and by the way, in reading some old posts I saw how you savaged poor WWJD. I'm not going away.

Shame on Disgusted
10/27/2018 02:13:57 am

The ultimate enabler. Not very Christian sounding either. No one is reading what you write anymore. Now let's see how many paragraphs Disgusted writes about this...

Disgusted
10/27/2018 10:33:36 am

Just one small thought. I post a wonderful story about a very positive interaction showing our wonderful students participating in a great lesson about the San Damiano Cross. A despicable person vomits all over my post. I call them out on it and you attack me and say I am the problem. This is amazing.

Agnes S
10/28/2018 10:07:43 pm

What they say about Dr O is z absolutely true through out families is TRUE
No longer there

Shame on Disgusted
10/28/2018 10:16:06 pm

Agnes, Do you mean to say Dr O threw out families at SSJ, they are no longer there? This is disturbing for a church community to do. Who are they I would like to help them.

Paul Fericano link
10/27/2018 04:05:52 am

PLEASE READ and PASS ON TO ALL WHO SUPPORT THIS BLOG

“A Room With A Pew” appreciates everyone who has persisted and shown great courage in the face of tremendous hardship. There is no one definition of clergy abuse. It is not limited in scope or nuanced in speech. It entails all aspects of a cleric’s behavior, as so many of you have sadly experienced. This blog supports anyone wounded by the clergy, and it promotes all aspects of the healing process. Seeking justice and practicing the golden rule are not mutually exclusive.

NOTE:

The “comments” section of "A Room With A Pew" is here as a welcoming space that allows for communal discussion, debate, and, at times, disagreement. It will not be used as a bully pulpit for anyone to harass and intimidate others.

HERE ARE THE RULES:

The “comments” section on this blog is reserved for any individual who respectfully:
1) wishes to address the author’s posts, express their opinions, and/or discuss related issues apropos and integral to the interests and concerns of this blog;
2) seeks to connect with like-minded individuals for the purpose of sharing common clergy-related experiences;
3) wants a safe forum to talk about clergy-related injustices, grievances, and ill-treatment;
4) needs to express themselves anonymously to avoid retaliatory measures by the clergy;
5) feels shunned, ostracized, and/or alienated by the actions and behavior of the clergy;
6) are victims/survivors themselves of sexual, emotional, and/or spiritual clergy abuse.

FAIR WARNING:

Trolling will not be tolerated.
Comments by anyone engaged in trolling will be deleted.

DEFINITION OF TROLLING:

In Internet slang, a troll is a person who starts quarrels or upsets people on the Internet to distract and sow discord by posting inflammatory and digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into displaying emotional responses and normalizing tangential discussion, whether for the troll's amusement or a specific gain.

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Barf
10/27/2018 09:58:48 am

Barf

Disgusted
10/27/2018 10:25:24 am

Paul, I understand your rules, but the problem with your rules is that they are apparently directed only at me, and not meant to be applied to others on this site. Otherwise why would a comment like the one posted within the hour by "Barf" be allowed to be on here? No doubt, as the one who created this blog, you get the updates when a post is made and yet you have made the decision that "Barf" is somehow adhering the rules that you posted from earlier today:

HERE ARE THE RULES:

The “comments” section on this blog is reserved for any individual who respectfully:
1) wishes to address the author’s posts, express their opinions, and/or discuss related issues apropos and integral to the interests and concerns of this blog;
2) seeks to connect with like-minded individuals for the purpose of sharing common clergy-related experiences;
3) wants a safe forum to talk about clergy-related injustices, grievances, and ill-treatment;
4) needs to express themselves anonymously to avoid retaliatory measures by the clergy;
5) feels shunned, ostracized, and/or alienated by the actions and behavior of the clergy;
6) are victims/survivors themselves of sexual, emotional, and/or spiritual clergy abuse.

Not really sure which rule Barf is following.

So, which is it Paul? Was Observer right the other day when the question was posed as to whether and how long you would leave posts up that are on the other side? You were quick to tell Observer that he didn't know who you were. Just so we all know, is Barf playing by the rules?

Pretty juvenile stuff "Barf"

And by the way, if allowed I will comment on Another from the Men's Club's post. There is a great deal of heartfelt commentary in there, but some that I would love to address later, again, if allowed.

Paul Fericano link
10/27/2018 01:17:43 pm

I will not be baited. Nor will I allow you to provoke others.

Like "Barf" and everyone else, you are entitled to your O-P-I-N-I-O-N
-- even if that opinion is expressed in one word.

Adhere to the rules of this blog or your comments will be deleted.

Barf
10/27/2018 08:14:09 pm

Barf.

Disgusted
10/27/2018 10:28:08 am

I think it is wonderful that our parish is hosting an interfaith gathering today designed to help battler, and/or end hunger for those who need help. We have an amazing parish. I thank the parishioners, Fr. Daniel, Fr. Vincent and especially the volunteers for making this happen. We are fortunate to have this community for these good works to happen. Great job everyone. In Christ.

Shocked
10/27/2018 11:00:10 am

SSJ Ghost-

I feel a lot of compassion for you. My family was devastated too by this new leadership under the new principal. We invested time and money at that school only to be forced out like pieces of garbage. Our family did not matter. Sorry if this sounds like self pity, but if you had it happen to you too, you'd know the feeling of experiencing something completely unfair and shocking. We sent our child there to get a good Catholic upbringing like we had experienced. We are a good family. We had positive experiences before this new leadership. We were thrown out because of a broken system there currently running the school who does not review all facts before making decisions. Maybe if we had more money or were in the inner circle of wealthy parents who run the school, the outcome would have been different. We are just hardworking Catholics trying our best to treat each other with kindness and making amends if we make mistakes. Unfortunately, that is not good enough for this leadership.

Shame on Disgusted
10/27/2018 11:17:20 am

It is obvious Disgusted is also Barf trying to play good cop bad cop. Even though you are from some other city, you are enabling the abuse at SSJ by getting a thrill out of your distractions. If everything was fine, there would not be over 400 comments from people like the Knights and mens club. And 100 kids would not have left SSJ. I don't know Chuck Linen but I feel bad for him and his grandchildren. No matter where anyone lives in this world that is reading this, you should feel bad for them too. One complaint should be enough to see there is a problem here. I am sure Colleen Muray knows how many hundreds have been made but won't tell us to keep covering all this up.
Disgusted, go ahead and write 10 paragraphs to try to distract us from the complaints again but it will not work.

Former SSJ
10/27/2018 12:31:30 pm

SSJ Ghost and Shocked and all the other families that left, I feel terrible for you. I wish I knew who you are so I could give you some comfort.
I think you will get some comfort from this short podcast of a sermon by Amy Nehrig (yes a woman) across the street at Seaside Church inside Sowers school. I left SSJ a few weeks ago and started going there and discovered other SSJ families were there like Jim Ortale’s daughter. I am not saying this so you start going but if you want to that is great. It is very welcoming, not holy roller and is guilt free. They have free donuts and coffe and so much more for kids to do even during the week.
Here is the link to the podcast. Start at about 10 minutes in for the main message in Amy’s sermon about a new pastor coming to a church where she grew up in Chicago. For example, she was not allowed to associate with anyone who was not Christian. (Sound like Fr Daniel saying other religions are a cult?) She also said people started making decisions that were nothing like the decisions Jesus would make. She said all the church rules were creating a lack of joy in the people. If this sounds familiar I really think you will get a lot out of hearing this. If you decide to try Seaside please ask someone to introduce you to the people that used to go to SSJ. In the meantime, we will pray for your families whether or not we see you.
https://subsplash.com/seasidehb/media/mi/+dvmh3b4

Rogers Family
10/27/2018 02:19:43 pm

We don't want to drive across town to go to church so our friends told us a lot of nice things about Seaside like the contemporary music and how their kids can play outside as long as they want. We have not gone yet but after hearing this recording and looking at their website it sounds like a nice place. Our kids have been bugging us to meet our friends’ kids there for a while now anyway.

Huntington Christian School
10/27/2018 12:51:37 pm

I'm not sure we're going to last through the end of the school year. The defenders of the changes and actions can say what they would like, but I'm seeing firsthand the unhappiness and even fear in some kids with the new principal. Whether or not you believe the principal to be the source or cause of the change (and fear) is somewhat a secondary point for me. The end result is the same, which is the school has become a toxic and unhappy place for many, myself and my family included.

We’ve tried the conversation approach, but our experience has been a horrible disappointment. As we consider alternatives I was wondering if anyone would mind sharing their thoughts on Huntington Christian? I know some families have moved to that school and I have heard good things about it, I would welcome anything (pro or con) that anyone is willing to share.

Unless there are some big changes that start to happen, we won’t make it through the end of the calendar year at SSJ. It’s sad and depressing but staying seems worse.

SSJ mom too
10/28/2018 03:36:37 pm

I have a lot of friends whose kids go to Huntington Christian. Public school is also a great option. We already left SSJ. Good luck and protect your children.

Public school SSJ transfers
10/27/2018 03:06:26 pm

We got them out and our kids are much happier. School is supposed to be safe not a place of fear. They begged us to move them. They are not at HCS but we know a couple of SSJ transfers that are happy there. We decided on public education because the schools are highly rated and now we can plow much more into their college funds. It turns out they like their teachers better and we like how they have to be certified to teach. My son is at Eader but we have other friends who’s kids go to Moffet and they like it too. My daughter is at Sowers and it has been great. I think you will be surprised at how many friends your kids already have at the schools around here. We were going to send them to Mater Dei but after all I heard about Edison from people with older kids, they will go there. That will save us a long drive and we will be putting the saved tuition in their account. Our goal is for them to not have to be in debt after college. We got away from that environment in the middle of the school year and it was one of our best family decisions. Good luck to you!

Paul Fericano link
10/27/2018 03:40:20 pm

Thank you for this hopeful message. The health of a community does not depend on what the church does or doesn't do. It lies in the hands of those, like yourself, who have suffered.

Disgusted
10/27/2018 08:31:40 pm

Public School transfers, Huntington Christian, Former SSJ thank you for your very respectful posts today. They aren't necessarily stories of happiness, although there is some hope in there obviously, and I sense you are still struggling greatly with SSJ, or have moved, but your tone is so different from the dozens and dozens of earlier posts on here. I'm certainly not asking for everyone to give up and just give in to the parish. I have only been asking for moderated, thoughtful respectful posts like yours. For those of you that are still trying to make it work at the church and/or the school, I will pray that you are able to find peace at SSJ. Have a great evening.

SSJ Ghost
10/27/2018 08:48:34 pm

Dear Shocked, Former SSJ and other genuine people in our community for the love and support!

I want to thank you for chiming in with your very tough stories too & support of our families and our beloved parish community.

Thank you for taking the time to share with me and other families who have been in turmoil, faith challenged and uprooting life changes due to this non- Catholic values/ treatment, behavior and messages at our parish!

Former SSJ - thank you also for your sharing of a new great community and more.

Let’s keep praying.

Not Disgusted
10/27/2018 09:34:44 pm

Totally agree SSJ Ghost. Much love and prayer

Not Disgusted
10/27/2018 09:39:29 pm

By the way it is my understanding from hearing from folks who were there that the Trunk or Treat event at the school on Friday evening was the biggest it has been in the past 3-4 years. I hear there were families from the school and the surrounding community. Lots of fun, food and laughter from what I am told. Just some good school news for everyone to consider. Have a great evening.

Yawn
10/29/2018 10:41:35 am

Yawn.

Knights Lady
10/27/2018 10:32:55 pm

I think the Greater Huntington Beach Council event is a great thing. I do However, question the motive behind it,
I have heard from others how Daniel called the military and those who serve Warmongers. and how he didn't want anything patriotic or related to the flag to be done. Now out of the blue there is Veteran's day event to be held. Imagine my surprise seeing it listed in the bulletin. Is this the work of the PR team?

Ceasar
10/29/2018 03:40:46 pm

Please don’t try to keep us down. People and their feelings need help. That is not spreading hate. This blog never happen before with the other priests who were nice. It is time to write this down again.
From the website National Catholic Reporter:
“Many years ago, my parish lived through the dark ages of an authoritarian priest. He happened to be the sidekick to an even more authoritarian bishop. It was a sadly dysfunctional time in the diocese as a whole. Heads were rolling. Priests and laity were being dismissed without explanation. Lines were being drawn in the sand. Folks sucked it up, grumbled and stayed, or they spoke out and quickly found themselves on the other side of the church door.” “When power and authority are abused, they must not be supported.” “I also learned that each parish has a small flock of obedient sheep that will continue to do the pastor's bidding regardless of the extent of his nastiness. They will commiserate and grumble loudly about the injustices being committed, but never directly to the priest. Their silent acquiescence is interpreted as support. They remain faithful minions to the clerical bully, and the bullying goes on.”

YRP
10/29/2018 05:38:01 pm

Just so you are aware Disgusted and Gone too far. I do believe your posting from above is A. dispensing legal advice without a license to practice law. B. By stating " I will probably let the local authorities know" can be interpreted as a threat. C. Your comments can also be interpreted to be bullying. D. By using multiple pseudonyms are you not impersonating someone or let me rephrase it you have in fact created a false identity to protect yourself from recrimination and possible harassment from those who do not agree with what you post here. SO please explain why others writing here should not be afforded the same right. As you personally were not at every incident where Daniel or the principal's actions or attitude has hurt someone, perhaps you should not call out people for doing the exact same thing you are doing, E.. Most important you personally do not have the right to remove anything from this blog. From reading and following this blog Mr. Fericano seems to be quite adept at monitoring this blog. My apologies to you Mr. Fericano if my statements have overstepped my bounds.

Gone too far
10/29/2018 09:13:09 pm

Not dispensing legal advice. All I have done is report this blog to Weebly for the multiple violations of Weebly's terms, which I copied and pasted for you. I have not impersonated anyone. What I am referring to, are the multiple attempts at impersonating SSJ Teachers. Those would be impersonations, as in acting like you are someone you aren't, as in NOT what I am doing, and not what you are doing by using a pseudonym. And please don't misquote me in an attempt to create some sort of threat that isn't there. I did not threaten to bring the authorities. I simply quoted the terms, and said I would leave it up to the authorities who I bet are looking into it. Not hard to get the quote correct, and no need to misquote. And guess what, I didn't say I could remove anyone. What I said was that I could report the multiple violations to Weebly, which I have. And by the way, you are not correct; Mr. Fericano is not the only person who can have someone removed. Weebly can. Presumably he has been contacted by Weebly by now, or at least I hope he has been as to that very purpose.

And for the 1000th time, and I will continue to do this, I am completely, and I mean completely in support of:

Helping those who need assistance
Supporting those who are in pain
Working with anyone who has been abused
Loving someone who is hurting
Praying for those who need prayers
Calling out a pastor for improper behavior if necessary, which by the way, I have done, in person, on more than one occasion, and guess what, I have achieved the positive results I was looking for

Don't know how many times I need to keep remind you of all of that, but I will keep it up.

What I am NOT ok with is:

Publishing people's cell phones for the world to see. Apparently you are: By the way did you know that the former Athletic Director, whom I am quite sure you know, had his personal cell phone published on here and he immediately asked to have it removed, which I am very glad that he did. Presumably, according to your rules, you would have been more than happy to leave Mr. Smith's number up here.

I am NOT ok with:
Calling people evil witches, but apparently you are
Naming parish mom's and starting rumors about them; apparently you are
Calling out multiple, multiple parish members, by name, even though they don't want their names included. But apparently you are ok with that.
Accusing parish members, by name, of being complicit in crimes, abuse, and otherwise despicable behavior. Apparently you are ok with all of that.

What you don't seem to be OK with is handling things in person. Apparently you just want to publish it for the world to see. If you have a problem, go confront them. Figure it out in person. Stop publishing people's cell phones, addresses, first and last names. I have confronted him, and Fr. Michael before him, on several occasions and was able to work it out every time.

By the way, you all need to be careful who you are aligning yourself with. You are hanging your hopes and dreams on the owner of this blog, who isn't a member of the SSJ parish, has no history with this parish, and yet he is sowing such discord and discontent that we find ourselves in this state. I doubt sincerely that he has been to SSJ, or if he has, not in the past 10 years. He has a vendetta against Daniel from their time up north. OK, so they didn't get along up there. And I mean, really didn't get along. Did you all know that the instant Daniel was reassigned, Paul wrote a letter to SSJ telling them how bad things were going to be here when Daniel arrived? Go ahead and look it up. Paul is proud of it. He didn't even give Daniel a chance. He poisoned the well literally BEFORE Daniel arrived. I doubt any of you are even aware of that. He has created this toxic platform and everyone is jumping on it.

Are you also aware that he quotes another, supposedly valid, source to show you that it isn't just him complaining about Daniel. It's also SafeNet. SafeNet reportedly has oodles of information also complaining about Daniel. So, now you have three sources, Paul Fericano, this blog, and SafeNet. Guess what, all of those are the same person. He is citing SafeNet, when SafeNet is him.

The only thing I am saying is that, if given a chance, maybe there wouldn't have been as many issues as there appear to be. Thousands of families attend this parish, and thousands of families do NOT have a problem with Daniel. This guy clearly does. And what I fear he has done is to convince many of you to make the problems that you have with Daniel seem bigger than they are. If you have an issue, just go talk to him. You might not get things 100% the way you want them, but we rarely get 100% of what we want. What you have now is unhappiness and a festering anger.

And YRP stop misquoting me and mischaracterizing me.

Barf
10/29/2018 10:29:29 pm

Barf...

Yawn
10/29/2018 10:52:40 pm

I would be nauseous, but that would require a degree of surprise by your response and condescending tone. Its half expected at this point. By the way, love the absolute statements you're able to make about whether or not teachers are posting, anonymity of the survey, etc. You claim you're not formally affiliated with the church or school, but yet you comment as if you know certain things that otherwise couldn't be known. So, riddle me this, Batman, which is it? Do you know these things with certainty? In which case you've lied about who you are. Or have you lied about these things you claim to be certain about? (they call this one a double bind, in psych circles)

By the way, since you're so prolific on this site, let's remind the readers about one of your earlier posts” “I will make it my mission to find out the real names of all you. Every single one of you. And then I will publish your names so that everyone can know who you are. And your spouses will look at you and wonder who is it that I am married to? And your children will look at you and wonder how could my mom do that? What kind of a dad do I have that would hurt people like this? You will lose the relationships that you have built through all of your lies. You have lied to your "friends" by telling them you are good person, when you are really trash. Your friends will desert you, because that is what you deserve. You do not deserve to be at this parish. You do not deserve to be at the school.”

That’s good stuff. I’m feeling the “judge not, lest ye be judged” in that post. You think you’re helping, but you’re not.

Judge Judy
10/29/2018 10:38:32 pm

Gone too far, I pose the same question to you that was ignored by "Disgusted" - is talking about oiling your naked body with oil to get in touch with your sexual energy acceptable for a priest to be discussing in a homily in front of children?

If that is acceptable to you, you are just as lost as "Disgusted."

You and Disgusted should go shake your Barica pom-poms somewhere else.

Gone Too Far
11/2/2018 01:45:17 pm

Paul, why do you keep deleting my posts.

As always, if people want to post about their pain, they are free to do so, but according to Weebly's rules they can't post personally identifiable information. I have linked a wikipedia post here for you.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personally_identifiable_information

Take a look a number one - FULL NAME, if not common. Pretty much all of the names you allow to be posted fall into the PII definition. Please remove them per Weebly's request to you earlier today. Posts need to be free from people's PII. Please do that today for all of the posts from the past week's that mention so many people, by name. Thank you Paul.

Thank you Paul.

SSJ Army Officer link
11/5/2018 12:29:59 am

To SSJ Parishioners,


An important reminder: This upcoming Sunday is Veterans Day (November 11), the one day set aside for all of us to say thank you to all U.S. military veterans for watching our backs and preserving our precious freedoms.

And you all know one of those precious freedoms that veterans protect daily is our religious freedom.


Unfortunately many of you also know, and others may be shocked to learn, is that our pastor, Daniel Barica, is anti-American military. Daniel is also anti-American flag. Nor is Daniel a fan of the Pledge of Allegiance. Daniel does not shout this from the church bell tower but he also does not hide his disdain either. It is safe to say that patriotism is not in Daniel's DNA.


EXAMPLE: Daniel does not believe deceased military veterans should be honored for their service by refusing to allow these men and women to be bestowed their rightfully earned military honors at their funerals held at SSJ in front of family, friends and God. Meanwhile parishioner families of deceased veterans who insist on including military honors within their loved one's funeral service have been told to take their business elsewhere as per Daniel. This policy has been enacted time and time again.



EXAMPLE: It is widely known that a few years ago Daniel failed to recognize vets and Veterans Day at a Sunday Mass as agreed upon in advance. When confronted after Mass for an explanation of his
inaction by upset veteran parishioners Daniel was quoted as saying ALL soldiers in this world, including those representing the United States of America, are WARMONGERS. When that discussion got a little too heated and uncomfortable for Daniel he ran away into the safety of the locked sacristy.



EXAMPLE: It was relayed to me by an upset Vietnam vet that Daniel had said to him and a group of fellow veterans that Daniel does not like the Pledge of Allegiance to be recited at church functions.



Please note I am well versed on the subject of the military, veterans and their families. I am a retired Army officer as well as the child and spouse of veterans. One son-in-law is a former Marine and the other is active duty Army. I also have a daughter currently serving this great nation. And I have been, like many of you, well aware of Daniel's disdain of the military.



In the SSJ bulletin there is an advertisement for a Veterans Day event scheduled for Monday, November 12 primarily for the benefit of the SSJ school children. Tremendous! This continues an annual celebration proudly embraced for many years by former principal Crystal Smith.



But I ask you, Daniel, where and when better to honor veterans than inside our greatest SSJ community gathering place, our church, at Sunday Mass before God on the recognized holiday itself, Veterans Day, Sunday, November 11?

Or is your "ALL soldiers are WARMONGERS" comment still in play?

Daniel's anticipated answer would likely be that such a gesture would take away from the solemnity of the Mass or some other such verbiage. Meanwhile on Veterans Day the US military will steadfastly go about its business and faithfully execute its job to protect this country and its freedoms, including religious freedom, for all of its citizens, even Daniel.

Let me be clear. I find it appalling that Daniel ignores and/or bad mouths the military while he enjoys the privilege of religious freedom and other benefits of a free society that the American military helps provide and protect for him.



Daniel, where would you be today without the dedicated men and women of the U.S. military watching your back and protecting you and your right to practice your religious freedom and more?



Daniel, American soldiers serving all over the world try to help other Christians and non-Christians alike to be able to enjoy the same precious freedoms you take for granted living here in the USA. Be honest now...if you even can. Who then would you say provides a better example of Christ like behavior, you or the American military?



God and country are not just words to our veterans. It is a MANDATE.



I can be respectful of pacifists and conscientious objectors but I have no tolerance for hypocrites. Hypocrites misuse their position to berate, disrespect and dishonor those who served valiantly and without reservation. Some veterans paid the ultimate sacrifice with their lives and now their families are left with only a memory while hypocrites trash their service.



If you have never felt the physical gut wrenching pain when a 21 gun salute is fired, or felt the tug at your very soul at the first notes of "Taps" as a family member stoically sits awaiting an Airman, Marine, Sailor or Soldier to present the flag that draped over their loved one's casket, then you cannot understand the depth and range of pride and grief that is experienced all at once. It can be most overwhelming to family and friends.



So how dare Daniel try to cripple the SSJ militar

SSJ Army Officer link
11/5/2018 12:36:41 am

(continued from above)

Furthermore shame on Jay Hudson, last year's Grand Knight of the SSJ Knights of Columbus, for installing Daniel as council chaplain.



The fraternal order of Knights is dedicated to the principles of four degrees: charity, unity, fraternity and patriotism. The patriotism degree is service to church and country. It can be summarized as the promotion of the ideals of Catholicism and Patriotism side by side.



Yet Daniel, as Knights’ chaplain, has no respect for the American military and American flag and so chooses to turn his back on American patriotism. How dare you, Jay, disrespect what the Knights steadfastly stand for. Also I suspect that Daniel is still the Knights’ chaplain. If that is correct then shame on the current Grand Knight for continuing to allow this. Be advised that Daniel disrespects each and every one of your brothers who have faithfully served and are proud of their allegiance to God and country.



A couple of years ago when trying to help a Knight avoid conflict with Daniel at a Knights' parish social event that just happened to be held on Veterans Day, I mentioned to that Knight that Daniel does not want the flag to be present at SSJ events nor have the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance. I was wrong to have said that. Thankfully the Knight ignored me and brought out the flag, the assembled parishioners recited the Pledge and a retired Army officer in his dress blues sang "God Bless America". Fittingly all the parish veterans present, myself included, were asked to stand and be recognized to appreciative applause from our fellow parishioners. It was a most satisfying and heartfelt start to a very enjoyable evening.



FINALLY, I respectfully ask each SSJ parishioner to please consider wearing to Mass this upcoming Veterans Day weekend (Saturday & Sunday, November 10 & 11) an American flag pin on your lapel. Or maybe you prefer to wear something red, white and blue. Or proudly wear anything else that is patriotic. It is a small gesture that shouts, "THANK YOU!" to appreciative SSJ veterans, some undoubtedly being family and friends of yours sitting alongside you at Mass.



I promise you such gestures will NOT go unnoticed by these proud veterans.



Please share this request and the entire blog comment with your family and friends. Show Daniel that while he does not support the American military or respect the American flag that you certainly do.



And above all please thank God at Mass for watching over our courageous men and women in uniform.



God Bless America.



No Fireman Honors either
11/10/2018 08:31:51 am

There are more courageous men and women in uniform Fr Daniel will not allow to be properly honored - our firemen. They have a “Last Call” tradition in which a bell is rung 3 times to signify the fallen fireman’s last call. When I attended a fireman funeral at SSJ, Fr Daniel would not allow that tradition. However, the first responders were still determined to properly honor their “brother” and took it upon themselves. So instead of inside the church as usual, they did it in the parking lot just outside the church. As people left, the firemen rang the bell and read a statement. Everyone stopped and stood at attention. It was very powerful and beautiful. Fr Daniel was visibly upset and shaking his head. Later at the reception, one of the firefighters was saying how disgusted the firemen were at the attitude of our church towards their tradition. He even asked me what is wrong with our priest. I did not know how to answer. I was very embarrassed for my church. Seeing how they put themselves in danger responding to the Thousand Oaks shooting and the devastating wildfires, every fireman deserves full honors for their lifetime of service.

Poll The Audience
2/11/2019 10:01:49 pm

It's been very quiet here ever since Disgusted (aka Not Disgusted, Gone Too Far, occasionally Barf, and perhaps the school's PR person) successfully employed the very tactics that she held others in contempt for using.

If people from the school are still checking this blog, I would be interested to hear anyone's opinion on whether they will be returning next year. I still really like the teachers, but definitely can't say the same about the leadership. The Principal has had nearly an entire school year and I still don't believe her to be up to the task of leading this school (I am still entitled to that opinion without undue persecution, I hope). So, I'm on the fence... should I stay or should I go (I won't break out into song). Anybody made a decision one way or the other that they're willing to share?

Undecided
2/19/2019 04:20:20 pm

I am uncomfortable with how how information for next year is being shared. There is no apparent experienced leadership here. Late breaking announcements (to students, not parents) of revamping school schedules, extra 1/2 days, asking for commitments before revealing tuition, etc. This seems disorganized and it is disheartening to watch it unfold at our school. One teacher has already declared she is not coming back. Who knows what the reason behind it is. My fear is that more teachers will start to announce their departure before the year is over. Plus, the new student subsidy has to be paid by someone. So those of us who commit to staying are going to shoulder that subsidy. I agree that the teachers are great. I would like to keep my child at SSJ, but have no confidence in what we'll be returning to next year. I'm very concerned and undecided about staying.

Nope
2/26/2019 10:47:06 pm

Not coming back. It’s very sad what has happened to this school in such a short time.

Prayers for All
2/18/2019 06:12:25 pm

Interesting ...

2/16/19
California's Franciscan Order to Release Names of Priests Accused of Sexual Misconduct with Minors

https://www.kqed.org/news/11726600/californias-franciscan-order-plans-to-soon-release-names-of-priests-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-with-minors


Comments are closed.

    Author

    A Room With A Pew is a regular column on clergy sexual abuse and the healing process. Using memoir, essay, short story, poetry and satire, the column aims to reflect the experiences, observations and opinions of writer Paul Fericano, a survivor of clergy abuse who attended St. Anthony’s Seminary in Santa Barbara, California, in the sixties. The author helped co-found SafeNet in 2003 and returned to Santa Barbara that year to assist the community in recovery. As a poet, writer, and activist engaged in the healing process, Fericano often challenges survivors and others to look for humor in the shadows. He is the editor and co-founder of Yossarian Universal News Service (YU News Service), the nation's first parody news syndicate established in 1980.

    Archives 
    A Room With A Pew
    Memories of Better Days Persist
    Many St. Anthony's students have contacted me, and one asked about the barbershop, where he had sought refuge one day after his offender beat him. Read story.
    by PAUL FERICANO
    TUES., APRIL 1, 2014
    ---
    No Matter How High the Hedge Grows
    The Solidarity Project memorial for clergy abuse survivors at Mission Santa Barbara was vandalized for a second time by a person employed by the Franciscans.
     Read story.
    by PAUL FERICANO
    WED., MARCH 5, 2014
    ---
    Mario (Walter) Cimmarrusti, OFM: 1931 - 2013
    The Worst of What We Lived
    My offender, a notorious Catholic priest and Franciscan friar who abused many boys at St. Anthony's Seminary, died on November 23, 2013. 
    Read story.
    by PAUL FERICANO
    THURS., FEBRUARY 13, 2014
    ---
    The Roots of Pastoral Response
    Pastoral response is the kind of outreach by the church that is absolutely essential to the healing process.
    Read story.
    by PAUL FERICANO
    WED., FEBRUARY 5, 2014
    ---
    Looking for Francis in the Franciscans
    Among survivors of clergy abuse, what puzzles, angers, and disappoints many is the shortage of moral courage among the friars in general. 
    Read story.
    by PAUL FERICANO
    WED., JANUARY 8, 2014
    ---
    From Survival to Forgiveness
    In 1965 when I was 14 I was sexually abused at St. Anthony’s, a Catholic minor seminary in Santa Barbara operated by the Franciscan religious order. 
    Read story.
    by PAUL FERICANO
    THURS., DECEMBER 5, 2013

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