Problem Priests: The Next Powder Keg on the Church Stove

11/11/2014

"Every absurdity has a champion to defend it."
--Oliver Goldsmith

An alarming and all-too-familiar issue within the Catholic church has been the question of problem priests: seriously troubled men who are put in charge of parishes where they ride roughshod over the laity. Last month I wrote two separate letters on behalf of parishioners of Saints Simon and Jude church (SSJ), a Franciscan parish in Huntington Beach, California. In both letters, the subject focused on documented grievances of parishioners who spoke of being emotionally abused by their current pastor. My first letter was privately addressed to the Franciscan leadership of the Province of Saint Barbara, a governing body of elected friars, with a copy sent to the Franciscan minister general in Rome. My second letter was a public letter directed at members of the various staff, councils, boards and commissions of SSJ, and copied to the bishops of the Diocese of Orange, California.

What has been most upsetting and heartbreaking about the SSJ situation is that this is a parish that has suffered greatly in the past from the fallout of the clergy sexual abuse scandal. Many current and former parishioners are still feeling the effects of that betrayal. A previous associate pastor of SSJ, (former friar) Gus Krumm, a charismatic and much favored priest who served in the parish from 1988 - 1998, was eventually exposed as a perpetrator. Krumm allegedly molested several young boys in his care over the course of many years.

When friar Michael Harvey replaced friar Larry Dolan as pastor in 2001, there was very little parish outreach at SSJ regarding this issue. Harvey was reassigned to Portland in 2012, but during his eleven-year tenure at SSJ he helped bring about a certain measure of understanding and healing in the parish by encouraging dialogue and discussions. Although he had his share of missteps, his pastoral approach was largely responsible for helping many parishioners deal with the crisis, stay with the Catholic church and reconnect with the Franciscans.

Like all things that seem to emanate from the strange universe occupied by the current leadership of the Franciscan Province of Saint Barbara, a decision was made to replace Harvey with friar Dan Barica, a priest with a troubled past. As pastor of Mission Santa Barbara (ground zero for the sex abuse scandal), Barica made no secret of his belief that the clergy abuse problem was blown out of proportion and that the spotlight on the sexual abuse of minors by Franciscans was far too bright. Barica went so far as to lecture Mission parishioners about putting the issue behind them and moving on--something, apparently, he himself had done.

Incredibly (and sadly), this was the priest the Franciscan leadership felt the parishioners of SSJ deserved as their new pastor. Instead of providing professional help for Barica, they removed him from Mission Santa Barbara (where he managed to divide and confuse parishioners), and rewarded him with a plum assignment: a high stress position as spiritual leader of one of the largest (and richest) parishes in southern California. The same parish that had struggled for years and fought back to renew itself had now been handed over to a friar with his own personal agenda.

To better understand this disturbing issue and the many challenges it poses for those who are attempting to make sense of it, my second letter (to SSJ) has been posted on SafeNet's website, and is presented below in its entirety:

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A Letter from SafeNet

To: Parish Staff, Boards, Councils and Commissions
Saints Simon and Jude Parish, Huntington Beach, CA
Cc: Bishop Kevin Vann, Diocese of Orange
Auxiliary Bishop Dominic Luong, Diocese of Orange
Angelica Jochim, MFT, Franciscan Office of Pastoral Outreach

October 28, 2014

Dear Church Leaders of Saints Simon and Jude Parish:

Peace and all good!

   Efforts by Pope Francis to move the church into the 21st century with respectful language, compassionate deeds and welcoming acts are clear reminders to the clergy that they are the servants of the people and not their masters.

   In recent weeks, a growing number of parishioners from Saints Simon & Jude have contacted SafeNet to report feeling emotionally abused by their pastor, Dan Barica. They have made it clear that his insensitive remarks and dismissive manner have caused them to feel hurt, angry and confused. Numerous examples have been shared, but a common grievance has been Dan’s apparent elevation of his own importance above the pastoral needs of his congregation.

   Some have raised serious concerns about parish expenditures under Dan’s leadership. They claim there is little financial accountability and transparency. Others have questioned his possible breach of canon law. They all report that his divisive policy of exclusion and isolation is responsible for creating a fearful and unwelcome environment at SSJ. In several encounters with churchgoers, Dan has apparently told people that they are either for him or against him. Those he perceives to be against him have been told to find a new parish.

   Because of his behavior, some parishioners fear reprisals. Many have been reluctant to speak up and have requested anonymity from SafeNet. They contend that Dan is being enabled by those who are intimidated by him; by those who are afraid of losing their jobs; and by those who act out of obedience and misplaced loyalty. They believe all these factors have served to condone and embolden his behavior.

The Real Focus of this Problem

    Unfortunately, this narrative is a familiar part of Dan’s history. Many people at Mission Santa Barbara expressed the same concerns to SafeNet when Dan was pastor there. They described his behavior in equal terms. Similar reports surfaced when he was pastor at St. Francis in Los Angeles before being transferred to Santa Barbara. Resistance to change, rejection of opposing viewpoints, and insistence on doing things your own way are all indications of a hurtful and disturbing policy.

     On May 23, 2012, I sent a letter to the SSJ pastoral staff expressing my concern regarding the appointment of Dan Barica as your new pastor. In that letter, I stressed the need for SSJ to help Dan understand his obligation to serve all parishioners and to be mindful of, and sensitive to, the needs of a parish severely impacted by the clergy sexual abuse scandal. I believed then, as I do now, that the circumstances warranted your immediate attention.

   In my view, the real focus of this problem is Dan’s private pain and suffering. Over the years, my work with wounded individuals has taught me to look for signs of acting out. Dan’s behavior fits enough of a recognizable pattern to suggest that his anger and apparent contempt for others is a cry for help.

   Until he is able to resolve his personal issues, I believe Dan will continue to cause emotional harm to parishioners, the friars and himself. As a result, SafeNet has written to the Franciscan leadership in Oakland urging them to take the following steps: 1) relieve Dan of his pastoral duties and help him obtain the appropriate professional care he requires; and 2) get behind a series of healing and reconciliation forums for the parishioners and friars of SSJ, facilitated by independent counselors.

This second point is an important process that you, as a parish, can initiate and set in motion.

An End to Unnecessary Suffering

   One of the greatest challenges facing the church today is overcoming public perception that it
doesn’t listen or, worse, doesn’t care. There’s no way of knowing for certain if the friars will take
this crisis seriously; no guarantees that they will respond in an appropriate and thoughtful manner. It’s vital, nevertheless, to go on record. And it’s equally vital to understand that this crisis is potentially explosive for your parish, the Franciscans and the Catholic Diocese of Orange.

   This letter is a sincere appeal. It is also a red flag. As a group, you have the power to stand up and correct injustices. As stewards of the faith, you have the moral imperative to support all wounded parties and ensure that everyone’s well being remains your highest priority.

I urge everyone who cares about their parish to act with courage and compassion for all, without delay, and to help bring about an end to unnecessary suffering.

In peace,

Paul Fericano, Director
SafeNet

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The bullying and harassment that exists at SSJ is hardly an isolated occurrence. Catholics in parishes all across the country have experienced similar incidents, certainly for decades, and more likely for centuries. There are professional facilities that cater specifically to troubled members of the clergy. But priests who suffer from addictions, psychological wounds or mental conditions are often routinely assigned to churches where they immediately establish their own tiny fiefdoms at the emotional expense of their parishioners. To quote the Catholic blogger, ologsiquito, from "How to Handle Church Bullies": "When a priest has a personality disorder, the entire parish suffers. People tiptoe around him, living in fear of setting him off."

  Thus far, the Franciscan leadership has not responded to any of this. Not publicly, anyway.
To do so would mean acknowledging mistakes, which would mean offering apologies. And according to some friars, they've already been there and done that. If all this sounds a bit arrogant and absurd, that's because it is. A friend of mine, a friar who isn't shy about speaking his mind, recently told me: "It's one of the perks of being elected to govern an exclusive men's club."

Ironically, this supercilious attitude has its roots in Mission Santa Barbara, a once-bright refuge that is now a dreary mausoleum, thanks to the incompetence of troubled Franciscans like Richard McManus, Brian Trawick and Angelo Cardinale. It should come as no surprise, then, that Dan Barica, who once lived with these friars and shared their views, would choose to export these dark circumstances to another parish. The spiritual depths of this, and any other religious community, can never be measured by the beauty of its physical surroundings, but by the very people who are supposed to be welcoming hosts charged with spreading peace and good will.

Over the past six years the Franciscan Province of Saint Barbara has unwittingly taught me ways to listen patiently to the language of deafening silence and to understand its deeper meanings. Problem priests are the next powder keg on the church stove. Like the clergy abuse scandal before it, there are many (perhaps too many) in the hierarchy of the church, and certainly in this religious order, who simply don't want to hear they are screwing up (again),
even when it's painfully obvious to everyone else that they are.

***

81 Comments

Author

A Room With A Pew is a regular column on clergy sexual abuse and the healing process. Using memoir, essay, short story and poetry, the column aims to reflect the experiences, observations and opinions of writer Paul Fericano, a survivor of clergy abuse who attended St. Anthony’s Seminary in Santa Barbara, California, in the sixties. The author helped co-found SafeNet in 2003 and returned to Santa Barbara that year to assist the community in recovery. As a poet, writer, and activist engaged in the healing process, Fericano often challenges survivors and others to look for humor in the shadows. He is the editor and co-founder of Yossarian Universal News Service (YU News Service), the nation's first parody news syndicate established in 1980.

Memories of Better Days Persist
Many St. Anthony's students have contacted me, and one asked about the barbershop, where he had sought refuge one day after his offender beat him. Read story.
by PAUL FERICANO
TUES., APRIL 1, 2014
---
No Matter How High the Hedge Grows
The Solidarity Project memorial for clergy abuse survivors at Mission Santa Barbara was vandalized for a second time by a person employed by the Franciscans.
Read story.
by PAUL FERICANO
WED., MARCH 5, 2014
---
Mario (Walter) Cimmarrusti, OFM: 1931 - 2013
The Worst of What We Lived
My offender, a notorious Catholic priest and Franciscan friar who abused many boys at St. Anthony's Seminary, died on November 23, 2013.
Read story.
by PAUL FERICANO
THURS., FEBRUARY 13, 2014
---
The Roots of Pastoral Response
Pastoral response is the kind of outreach by the church that is absolutely essential to the healing process.
Read story.
by PAUL FERICANO
WED., FEBRUARY 5, 2014
---
Looking for Francis in the Franciscans
Among survivors of clergy abuse, what puzzles, angers, and disappoints many is the shortage of moral courage among the friars in general.
Read story.
by PAUL FERICANO
WED., JANUARY 8, 2014
---
From Survival to Forgiveness
In 1965 when I was 14 I was sexually abused at St. Anthony’s, a Catholic minor seminary in Santa Barbara operated by the Franciscan religious order.
Read story.
by PAUL FERICANO
THURS., DECEMBER 5, 2013

John Duffin

11/11/2014 12:57:33 pm

I suggest following the points the pope makes in this interview.
http://tinyurl.com/mr6d5u3

Thomas Heck

11/11/2014 02:06:08 pm

I find this essay on "the emotional abuse of the laity" needlessly vindictive. Here was an occasion for what might have been good, solid reportage and interviews about an issue that touches a lot of active Catholics in a lot of parishes. It might have quoted a variety of voices. It has become, in effect, a personal rant in which you do not lose a chance to heap scorn on the unfortunate clergy. (And I don't mean that they should not be held accountable!) I find it over the top – incredible -- for you to conclude the essay in this manner:
“Ironically, this supercilious attitude has its roots in Mission Santa Barbara, a once-bright refuge that is now a dreary mausoleum, thanks to the incompetence of troubled Franciscans like Richard McManus, Brian Trawick and Angelo Cardinale. It should come as no surprise, then, that Dan Barica, who once lived with these friars and shared their views, would choose to export these dark circumstances to another parish."
No matter your personal feelings, Paul, it is incredibly presumptuous and cynical to offer just your spin on the motives of these friars in what reads like a series of ad hominem attacks.
I once belonged to St Barbara Parish myself, but it stopped nourishing me, so I left. Adults really can vote with their feet! Why don’t you? When you criticize the Franciscans publicly in such an angry and opinionated way, alas, it reflects badly on you, suggesting that you just don’t know how to forgive and move on.

Joseph P Rainaldi

11/12/2014 02:21:57 am

I take exception to Thomas Heck's remarks about Paul criticizing the Franciscans publicly in such an angry and opinionated way instead of just walking away. As a survivor, Paul has every right to publicly criticize the Franciscans and the Catholic Church hierarchy. The abuse, both sexual and emotional, that Paul and many of us suffered at St. Anthony's Seminary gives him the right to express this criticism publicly. He has been and continues to be a great voice for all of us. It is easy to say you should just leave the parish or environment instead of offering public criticism but this is the cowards way out and nothing ever changes. I grew up in a Franciscan parish and have great memories from those days. My Dad still belongs to this same parish and is very involved. Because of my time at St. Anthony's Seminary in 1965-66 and emotional abuses by some priests I have observed over the subsequent years, I refuse to belong to any parish. Unfortunately, I don't have the fortitude to offer public criticism but I applaud the efforts by Paul and many others to continually bring these issues to everyone's attention with the hope that one day the right people will see the light and things will change for the better. This is the only way we will all be able to move on.

Virginia Pickles Jones link

11/12/2014 03:20:12 am

I have been reading this blog faithfully since I discovered it last April, but have not commented until now. I comment now because I feel that the story of Gus Krumm's last parish -- mine -- needs to be known. Gus Krumm served here from September 1998 to May 2002, when he was removed after one of his survivors came forward to the news media for the 6th or 7th time and finally got his story told. After the survivor's story was finally printed in a newspaper, Gus Krumm was promptly removed. Most parishioners never saw him again. Sadly, many had unresolved feelings and concerns. Gus Krumm was dynamic and much loved. That was the year of the long, ongoing scandal that started in Boston. Forums were held. A small amount of information was given to parishioners. More was given to parish staff and parish council members who were told not to tell ordinary parishioners. One confided in me what I already surmised from newspaper articles -- that Gus Krumm was abused by another priest at St. Anthony's seminary -- probably Mario Cimmarrusti. Forums were held for about Gus Krumm and clergy abuse for 6 weeks and then all talk was shut down. People who had clung to the parish in their pain and confusion drifted away because the Franciscans had brought in an emotionally clumsy priests whose gifts would have been best put to work as a copyist in a medieval monastery. The much more emotionally gifted parochial vicar of the parish, who had already connected with many parishioners, was moved elsewhere. There is much more to the story, I cannot say it all here. Just suffice it to say, my 5 year old son and I, were groomed by Gus Krumm so I asked searched the internet for answers and discovered that accusations of abuse against Gus Krumm had been reported back in 1980-81. In other words, the Franciscan leadership had a long history of knowing about his abuses. I passed out those newspaper articles and was thrown out of the parish and treated roughly by the then pastor. Fortunately the Franciscans moved that pastor in January 2005, and brought in a wonderful new pastor, Armando Lopez who apologized to me and welcomed me back to the parish. I am my supporters sought Paul Fericano's help and he persuaded Fr. Armando and others in leadership to hold forums on clergy abuse. I wish Paul had shared his story as a survivor, but he did not. These forums evolved into a support group that used listening as a tool to help everyone from survivor to lowly parishioner to Fr. Armando, who was abused by a family member as a boy, share their stories. We achieved a measure of healing and reconciliation for several survivors of clergy abuse and heard from 3 adults who had experienced inappropriate behavior from Gus Krumm. However, the group essentially became a support group for survivors of abuse who were not abused by clergy due to lack of support from the Church and survivor groups. Interestingly enough, the Franciscans after telling everyone how their order was declining in numbers, started staffing a new parish in nearby Milwaukie, Oregon -- St. John the Baptist. This last summer the Franciscans stopped staffing Ascension Catholic Church. I was told by a former nun friend who was close to a Franciscan priest, that the Franciscans knew they were loved by Ascension parishioners more than by the parishioners of any other parish. Why would they leave the parish that loved them so much? My gut feeling is that they know there are Gus Krumm survivors at Ascension. Maybe they have come forward in private and have settled in private. After all, there are two people at Ascension who were significantly harassed by parishioners and leadership at Ascension -- the former Youth Minister and me -- both of us had suspicious stories to tell about Gus Krumm's behavior. I am grateful that Paul has chosen to write about the parishioners at St. Simon and Jude's. I feel that parishioners are the one's whose story has gone missing from the clergy abuse scandal. Our parish was wounded by a leadership more concerned with coverup than healing. Fortunately, our parish attendance rebounded with the loving pastoral care given by Fr. Armando Lopez. And, finally and most significantly -- given the topic of this post -- parishioners due to lack of sensitivity and lack of guidance or poor guidance by the leadership of the church, have played a role in the further wounding the wounded. Back to the point I meant to make -- I think that there are Gus Krumm survivors at Ascension and that the Franciscans moved because they don't want to be around if they ever come forward and share their stories with the news media. I wonder if the new pastor at Sts. Simon and Jude's was brought in to also keep things quiet. In conclusion, I have to say that I have stopped attending Mass. That is in part because my teenaged children have so many volunteer jobs and activities they need a full time chauffeur, but it is also due to the fact that I feel betraye

Vince Perez MD

11/12/2014 04:45:46 am

As one who experienced abuse by Mario at St Anthony's (1965 - 1969) and has spent years of therapy in healing I understand that each person is entitled to her/his opinion as well as being at very different points along the post abuse continuum. Paul apparently still believes in the need to not only advocate for others who have been abused but apparently to emotionally attempt to express their (his ?) own feelings as well. I suggest that Paul's work in informing the public focus on helping to clarify the facts and present possible solutions constructively rather than to make this a forum to continue to attack and split.

Robert Millick

11/12/2014 11:44:28 am

Thank you, Vince, for your remarks. We who were abused as seminarians understand the situation. There is a continuum or process that we survivors walk. It may take years. I urge everyone involved to avoid the temptation to do battle. Forgive, if possible, but avoid aggression.

Vernon Bradley link

12/19/2014 12:33:00 pm

Sometimes professional "help" is overrated and often professional therapy works with a person individually out of the context of where his or her issues exist--in RELATIONSHIPS. Some kind of "family" therapy where there are significant folks involved (who might actually contribute to the disfunctional context even unwittingly) is much more effective than sending an individual off to get professional help in a context within which he may have no issues!!!
Thanks for continuing to share with us your own journey of speeking out in an attempt to call attention to what needs attention.

Quinn

1/24/2016 02:15:16 pm

I'm still not exactly sure how I get the "room with a pew" letter. I read it sometimes for the tinge of nostalgia it brings me . I happened to read it more in depth today and I have to comment .
I don't quite understand what is expected as far as the changes within the relationship between the parish priests and the parishioners and their relationship? What it seems to be is more of the misinterpretation and misunderstanding of the second Vatican council at work. The delineation between the clergy and the faithful remain the same.
There are avenues in place to report abuse of any kind but I find so often that the clamor that I read about in these articles is for something that can never quite take place , an even playing field ;the church is a hierarchy . The notion that liberal Catholics (those of us who were exposed to OFM education , among others , know what that moniker means ) seem to have that there will be a completely egalitarian church in all manner is ludicrous, and runs contrary to church teaching, no matter how diluted it may be.
My other fascination with the articles is their dismay at the failure of the province of Santa Barbara to take responsibility for anything . It takes more than an open letter by one or two provincials expressing some semblance of culpability to appease the travesties of their ( or any religious or diocesans) egregious errors of the past. When I finally read that Mel Jurisich, Joe Prochnow, Aberic Smith, Anthony Garibaldi, Eloy ?, Gus Krumm, Dave Jonnson , Tom Thing admit their knowledge of ,and complicity in , the abuse at St Anthony's Seminary then maybe I'll believe that there's anyone within the province who is sincerely remorseful .
And as an aside ,and to use the language of Mel Jurisch , I still wouldn't give a flying fuck about what the church and it's hypocritical self or its members do.

Sanda

11/3/2017 04:46:01 pm

Wow, thank you for your post concerning Father Daniel at SSJ. I thought it was only a couple of us at SSJ that had (and continue to have) those experiences with him. We're finding out now that his behavior has been the parish's dirty little secret for some time. Unfortunately Father Daniel's dictatorial and capricious attitude seems to be enabled by his church staff and frankly, the Diocese itself, who keeps him in office despite multiple complaints. Knowing there is little that can be done to save our church after all the letters is very disheartening particularly for those of us who grew up in the parish.

Great Grandpa

12/29/2017 01:00:59 pm

Sanda,

Thank you expressing your feelings. I know dozens who feel like you but are afraid to speak up. This article says Fr Daniel requires professional care. We should have been warned how the parishioners in Santa Barbara felt and that they were glad to see him leave. Our beloved Fr. Dan should have become our new pastor but they had to send him up there instead because Fr Daniel obviously burned that bridge.

Sanda, don’t think little can be done to save SSJ. But nothing will change if everyone keeps quiet or sends letters to the very people who cover up and enable him. Like you, I also know of many letters that got sent, usually to the parish office and the bishop.

As with the celebrities, the only way to stop enabling him is for people to go public and comment on websites like this one. Type “Daniel Barica Spotlight” and look at the first few pages of the search. There is no reason the #MeToo movement shouldn’t also apply to angry priests.

Fr Dan is still one of the leaders of the province so it is also important for everyone to tell him their feelings. When he calls back, ask him to keep you confidential if you are afraid of being shunned or retaliated against (as staff members have told me). Fr Dan’s new number in Santa Barbara is (805) 682-4151 ext. 101. Please do not wait. Every passing day that parishioners, staff members and volunteers continue to enable Fr Daniel by staying quiet will make it harder to save SSJ.

When Fr Daniel canceled the annual Santa visit in Coleman Hall this year, that was the last straw for many of us. We are protesting by canceling our donations. The last straw for the mostly Hispanic people of St Francis parish in LA when Fr Daniel was their pastor years ago was when he announced that there would be no more Spanish masses. Can you imagine? The congregation was so upset that they had a sit-in all day in the church in protest and stopped donating. About a week later, Fr Daniel was “transferred” to Santa Barbara. Just like we were not told about his past, no one told the people in Santa Barbara what really happened.

The Province is already in financial trouble and can’t afford a priest like this to affect donations. As it is, I am one of the few who knows that our province has to combine with many other Franciscan provinces across the country in order to continue. In spite of this we are now in so much debt for the $3.2 million Parking Lot Project. They should have used the contractors in the Mens Club that wanted to do work for free or for cost, but were turned down.

As with celebrities and public figures that have now been exposed, Fr Daniel’s status creates a power imbalance that causes people to keep quiet. Acting like a dictator instead of like Jesus should be inappropriate enough for any priest. But he really crossed the line when he talked about his sexual energy in front of children a couple of years ago. People do not realize he became a priest much later than most so what did he do with this energy before? The warning signs are already here so the diocese should not wait for an actual sexual harassment claim before they do something. The Fr Gus situation was too painful to have to endure again.

The people running the Miss America Pageant had to resign not about sexual comments but inappropriate name calling emails dating back to 1998. To me, Fr Daniel’s much more recent sexual remarks were far more inappropriate, yet he is still in power. During his sermon that Sunday, we actually heard him say that he looks at himself in the mirror after he showers and puts oil on his nude body. That was way too graphic for kids to hear. He never publicly apologized for this disturbing visual. Instead, I heard Fr Rusty apologize for him a few weeks later. It can’t be a sincere apology if it comes from someone else.

Sanda, there is another dirty little secret about him that is not just inappropriate but criminal. People started to wonder how Fr Daniel was able to take so many vacations to places like Ecuador and Florida. As the Guardian, Fr Rusty found out but this time did not openly apologize for him. He discovered that Fr Daniel was taking cash from the weekly collection. Fr Rusty even told Mark Purcell about the theft but neither of them reported it to the police. I know Fr Rusty confided in at least one other person about this, an ex-finance council member who told me. That makes me believe that the current members are probably covering this up too (one of which is an ex-chief of HB police). Fr Daniel violated the public trust and must be held accountable no matter how much was taken and how long ago it happened. And now that Fr Rusty is gone it could still be happening. If you do not think this is possible for a priest to do, Fr Alex admitted to taking money from the collection during his deposition in the sex abuse lawsuit of him and Fr Gus. Yes, even Fr Alex.

Per the website FindLaw: “A per

12/29/2017 01:18:08 pm

Per the website FindLaw: “A person charged with aiding and abetting or accessory is usually not present when the crime itself is committed, but he or she has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact...”. Anyone who knows must come forward and report Fr Daniel’s theft to the police, especially Fr Rusty and Mark.

One of the ways Fr Daniel controls us in the Mens Club and others is with his threat that no Franciscan will replace him and SSJ will become a diocesan parish. Don't let him do this to you. They are not going to let one of the richest parishes go so easily. Maybe if enough people spoke up sooner, Fr Dan would have already been our pastor.

R. C.

1/4/2018 08:26:16 am

Wait, what? Seeing this makes me worry what happens to the money I put in the basket at my church. This is a big scandal for the diocese if priests steal. Vacations are not cheap so thousands would have been taken. The people who know and are covering up can't be trusted and must step down, all the way up to Bishop Vann.

Estelle

3/6/2018 07:35:58 pm

Father Daniel Barica is a nightmare and sadly the Diocese are not doing anything to him. All I can say is that he should not be near children and yet they placed him at Sts Simon and Jude parish which is associated with a school , we have been sending letters to the diocese but they are covering up for him , this is what I call corruption but if they don’t act fast they will pay the price

Maria D.

6/8/2018 04:24:40 pm

We are all furious at Sts Simon and Jude because of Daniel Barica. This man is not normal and he has serious mental issues. I lost faith in all the Franciscan friars it seems like they don’t want to deal with problem priests instead they move them around. This man has destroyed our community. We are all scared of him and he knows it. My main concern is that he is a parish that runs an elementary and middle school as well. With his troubled past and mental issues we have no clue how could they place him close to children.

Mr. M

6/12/2018 11:30:01 am

I know a neighbor across the street with young children. She told me she has seen a woman go in Father Daniel’s house alone, sometimes for a few hours, sometimes overnight with her car parked in the driveway. The neighbor does not know her name but it is probably the same woman you talk about. She reported this to the Franciscans, the bishop’s office and the church office. Regarding all the trips Father Daniel takes, ask Dan Hart over on Cloudhaven. He told me when Father Rusty was here he really trusted Dan. Father Rusty told Dan about the money being taken by Father Daniel.

SSJ Parent

6/13/2018 08:39:37 pm

Can someone please remove the woman’s name. Even if the rumor is true we shouldn’t post her name in public. Thank you

Paul Fericano link

6/14/2018 01:27:37 pm

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. The comment in question has been removed.

6/15/2018 08:25:09 am

Mr. Fericano,

The SSJ Parent only asked you to just remove the woman’s name and not the entire post. If Heather Blake says she knows about inappropriate behavior of Fr Daniel, it should not be deleted. Here is what Ms. Blake wrote a few days ago on June 9 that I previously responded to, minus the school mom’s name:
“I have another dirty secret about father Daniel that I will share with all of you know. He is having an affair with a school mom named _________. She joined the school few years ago and they immediately hit it off and within few years she started gaining control over the school. She goes to his house constantly and they were seen together at a movie theatre watching acrated r movie.” (includes 2 typos)
I heard that the lawsuit against Fr Alex and Gus cost around $2 million. Fr Daniel’s alleged actions can be another huge risk to SSJ donations and tuition payments. If another lawsuit is filed, his lawyers can say it's a consensual relationship but the school mom can say she felt very vulnerable and was afraid to turn down his advances out of fear of retaliation against her and her family. The very idea of this is wrong on so many levels but most importantly, a bad example to our school children.

6/15/2018 11:37:36 pm

Thanks for your thoughts and concerns.

If it would have been possible for me to just remove the woman's name, I would have done so. As it is, my site controls do not allow me to edit or delete selective portions of anyone's comments--only delete their entire comments (I believe this is true for most blogs).

If this person wishes, they can, of course, re-post their comment (as you have done) with the woman's name omitted.

But for the record, I personally believe it's questionable and unsettling to "out" someone for any reason based on one's possession of a "dirty little secret."

6/16/2018 09:23:08 am

There is a lot more going on here than one dirty little secret. I have heard people call him a bully and names I cannot write.

Diane B.

6/15/2018 03:45:47 pm

I confirm that what is going on right now at SSJ is pretty disturbing and it makes me mad that the diocese would place this troubled priest in such a wonderful parish as Sts. Simon and Jude. I am an SSJ parishioner and believe me we are all pretty upset with Father Daniel right now after firing the school's principal who was a remarkable woman. She had been a principal at Sts Simon and Jude for over 21 years and was loved by both the faculty and the students as well but all of a sudden Fr. Daniel decided to fire her along with other longtime faculty members. Many SSJ staff and parents are reluctant to speak up due to their fear of Father Daniel. It's complicated but I am sure it will end soon one way or another because people are fed up.

6/16/2018 07:16:57 am

Thank you Mr. Fericano. FYI we all know about this woman at SSJ and believe me she is not a very nice person at all and both her and father Daniel are hated and disrespected by many of us. That being said, I believe that we cannot just post her name for everyone to see, after all she has small children and a husband. Thank you.

SSJ Parent and Volunteer

6/16/2018 08:34:15 am

Until the Me Too movement, people were afraid to stand up to men in power like Matt Lauer and Charlie Rose. It is much worse when the one in power is a priest. People try to use prayer to remove a problem priest and while they wait for something to happen, they suffer in silence. They are afraid to say anything negative because it is considered not Christian. They are afraid to bring attention to our parish. Priests know people will not speak out against them. That is what allowed the child abuse scandal to continue for so long. Shame on us for not protecting our children. Shame on us for allowing any form of harassment and emotional abuse to happen in our parish.

Complaints to the parish office started soon after Daniel arrived. Most were anonymous so we were told to ignore them because if someone did not have the courage to put their name to a complaint, it was considered not credible. But from what I read, they were real people with real pain. The parishioners who did come forward to complain were criticized and shunned by Daniel. Parish staff were too afraid to speak up. When we received the SafeNet letter in the mail about Daniel, we thought the Franciscans would intervene. Instead, they accused Paul Fericano of retaliation from when he was abused in the seminary. The Franciscans had the opportunity to stop Daniel years ago but they decided to ignore the letter and attack and minimize a victim of clergy abuse instead.

Now our church is so divided. Instead of calling out his abusive behavior, we just stood by and watched so many great families leave. We saw the school enrollment decline and all the kids that stopped coming to church. I feel most of them will never come back.

I know that the other priests, Rusty, Dan and Ryan, all received complaints. It is very upsetting that they did nothing to stop him. They are just as responsible for what has happened to our church. Especially Father Dan because of his position and authority in the Order. (You should never have allowed this to happen to us Father Dan! You left a lot of very hurting people behind. We somehow need to heal without you. I hope you at least offer counseling for those of us affected by Daniel.)

I am sorry to say this but the people of Santa Barbara are responsible too. If this comment upsets anyone in that great city, think about how you felt when you did not know about what Daniel did to the people before you I read about at St. Francis parish. Those parishioners passed their problem to you and then you passed him on to us. We do not choose where a priest is transferred to, but someone should have stopped him a long time ago. He should never have ended up in HB. But once he arrived, someone should have warned us about him much earlier than SafeNet did.

The more people that come forward, the less power he will have. Less donations also mean less power. I never understood how he was able to pay for so many vacations but I had my suspicions. He should be in jail if what I read about him stealing from the basket is true. Father Dan needs to be transparent with our donations and tell us how much he took. Father Dan also needs to be transparent about the affair Heather Blake told us about. If there is a sexual harassment claim, that could cost SSJ parishioners millions.

In the mens club

6/19/2018 11:58:22 am

Two of us in the mens club were talking to fr Dan Lackie about fr Daniel while he was still here. Fr Dan said he knows people are upset. After asking what the Franciscans were going to do about it he just got up and left...we were stunned. This should not be the response of someone who was here for so long and is now the pastor at St. Barbara Parish at Mission Santa Barbara. Email him what you want to say at dlackie@sbofm.org Tell him you have to be confidential with the confession privilege and be up front with him. He cannot tell what you say to anyone even other priests because that will affect your privacy with that privilege. Fr Dan is a leader of the Franciscans and he must do something to help us.

6/19/2018 05:19:35 pm

I think we should contact the Bishop Father Dan won’t do anything. You yourself said he left the room when you asked him what will they do with Daniel.

6/19/2018 07:06:17 pm

Of course contact the bishop but fr Dan has an obligation to do something without him. What would you do if fr Daniel was a celebrity and treated people inappropriately? I bet there would be countless people to stop him. Just because he is a priest does not mean you should stay quiet. But if you do not want to be identified use the confession privilege its not just for our sins. I personally know that Fr Michael used it to protect people who came to him in private. It’s no different with fr Dan Lackie. The Franciscans can take care of this without the bishop, or else they are fr Daniels enablers like Sanda said earlier. Knowing there are any complaints and continuing to ignore them does not seem very priest-like. It is not very do unto others like they tell us we must be. They are supposed to act like st Francis and Jesus, who would never ignore anyone hurting. I guess the Franciscans all need to look deep inside and think about what they say each Sunday sermon. Do they act like Jesus if they turn their head and continue to allow fr Daniel to do unto others the way he does? Fear of him like you said above or hating him like the SSJ parent said is very unhealthy for our church and our children. People are even afraid to say anything to others because they might lose friends if they say the wrong thing to the wrong person, especially one of his protectors. I know some parishioners this happened to. People cannot bring themselves to do anything so they just suffer or leave, or both. So anyone afraid to say something to fr Daniel ask for the confession privilege to protect you from him plus keep your friends. Ask fr Dan for help and guidance and he must keep you private. He needs to know how you feel if you keep quiet, that is the same as condoning and enabling fr Daniel to continue his ways.

6/19/2018 08:01:30 pm

You are right “in the men’s club” this Fr Daniel is a horrible man and there are a lot of us at SSJ who are scared of him. I hope the Franciscans act fast and remove him from our parish.

Virginia Jones

6/19/2018 08:14:18 pm

Just a warning to all of you, the Franciscans will smear you if you go alone to complain. Organize into a group and go together. The Franciscans framed me. They had the Pastoral Associate of the parish where I attended provoke me before Mass, and then church personnel called the police on me. This Pastoral Associate organized the cooperation of several parishioners who watched for the police and detained my children and did not release them to my care until the policeman arrived and was talking to me. My guess is they wanted to guarantee there was a police record for me being disruptive even if they were the ones who provoked the incident. If nobody speaks out, nothing will happen. You can make things better even if nobody wants to give me any credit for the years and many sacrifices I made trying to make things better. Just know the Franciscans are as political as any other large institution. What was I doing? I was handing out articles that indicated that the former Provincial Minister knew about Gus Krumm's abuses going back to the school year of 1980-1981 at St. Anthony's Seminary. But be forewarned. I eventually stopped attending Mass because the hypocrisy and self serving nature of the leadership of the order eventually became too much for me. That being said, there are wonderful, individual Franciscans such as Fr. Armando Lopez and the priest who told a friend of mine that I was deliberately set up to get me out of the parish. For his sake, I will not name him. Just to let you know, the Franciscans also broke up my marriage. If they decide that you are a danger to them, they can be really awful. The Pastoral Associate of the church asked one of my friends if they should go to my husband. She said, "I would not do that if I was you." I told the Franciscan pastor of the church that he yelled at me a lot. They went to him anyway. So much for the sanctity of marriage. I got to find out just how abusive he was. That's another story none of you are interested in. Too bad the Franciscans did not listen to me or my friends. My kids get to live with the results. Their Dad abandoned them after abusing them. He gave my daughter's college funds to his second wife. And my daughter ended up being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) after going to live with her father for four years. BPD is a disorder that is common among sex abuse survivors, including clergy sex abuse survivors. Fortunately I embraced therapy, especially the therapy for BDP--Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. But I would really like the Franciscans know how much harm they did to my children as my ex-husband never stopped using my being thrown out of a Catholic Church against me. He used to call me mentally unstable and unfit as a mother. Fortunately I involved many therapists with the family, and they testified on my behalf. Just know how awful the Franciscans can be. And my daughter is on the mend because she eventually embraced her diagnosis and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. She has an almost full scholarship to Mills College, but she could use the college funds her father won't give her to pay the rest.

A.F.

6/20/2018 09:38:07 am

Virginia, I am so sorry this happened to you! Reading all of this is giving me the courage to speak up too. I will heed your warning because I know others that were marginalized and attacked at SSJ after speaking up. The idea that a church, especially Franciscans could do this is so wrong and so sad. How do they look at themselves in the mirror and then preach to us on Sunday about how we should act?
This seems to be a safe place to speak anonymously. I have had similar feelings about Father Daniel for a long time but I did not know where to go or who to talk to about it. I will pass this link on to others too.
Are you reading this Father Dan Lackie? I will send you a private email but people need to read some of what I have to say to stop the cover up going on. The Men’s Club guy is right, you can’t just sit back and ignore what is happening here, you are a Definitor in the Order so you have the authority and the duty to do something. If you knew one of your parishioners was beating his wife, would you ignore that too? The Father Daniel situation is no different because he is very abusive to people who question him. In fact, you have a higher duty to stop him because you are a priest and Definitor. For Diane to say she is scared of him truly means there is a problem. Read about the staff who are afraid of retaliation. The very idea of a culture of fear in a church is hypocritical and has no place here or anywhere. No one should be scared of their priest. Please, please stop ignoring the complaints. I know you are aware of complaints because I complained to you about him too. Like the other guy, you just walked away from me. How do you think that made me feel about you as a priest?
Your parishioners in Santa Barbara need to know that you are protecting and enabling the very priest I read that they were so glad to get rid of. When you talk with them after mass, be aware that they were probably hurt by Father Daniel too and would like to talk to you. But you need to bring it up first in order for them to feel safe. Maybe you could at least apologize for how Father Daniel treated them. You definitely need to apologize to the people of SSJ for the damage he has done here. If you only knew how many parents told me their kids do not come to church anymore because of Father Daniel. That alone should make you want to look in the mirror and finally do something as a priest and shepherd of God’s flock.
What do you think God thinks of how you have handled this so far? Is it a sin to ignore abuse and allow it to continue? You can fix this today. Per Zephaniah 3:4, “Her prophets are reckless, treacherous men; Her priests have profaned the sanctuary. They have done violence to the law.” Or Acts 20:28, "Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” In other words, lead us and be a good example to us and our children. Do not shun or marginalize anyone who questions a priest.
Virginia’s story is awful and contradicts the Bible. But it does not surprise me because of how others I know have been treated after complaining about Father Daniel. You must change that culture in the Franciscan Order. People need to feel safe if they want to report their priest for not following the Bible by doing anything inappropriate.
Virginia, I read back to your story a few years ago about Father Gus. We had him first so I would like to tell you some of what happened in Huntington Beach. I still have not healed from the wounds about him when he was here at SSJ. I trusted Gus completely. He baptized my children and I attended countless weddings and funerals with him presiding. Most people I know requested Gus for their occasion because he was so well liked for the 10 years he was here.
When the news about Gus hit, I felt very betrayed. It was like a death in the family.
I have tried to ignore my feelings but I realize I am still scarred all these years. To help, I started searching for the truth. You said they knew about his past since the early 80’s. This article confirms that they knew for at least 2 years after settling a case but kept him here. There was no attempt to at least keep him separated from children:
www.bishop-accountability.org/news5/2002_05_18_McGraw_ChurchKnew.htm
This OC Register article says: “The Catholic Diocese of Orange allowed a priest to stay at his
Huntington Beach parish for at least two years after learning that he had been accused of
sexual molestation and that his accuser was paid a monetary settlement.”
For those 2 years, no one warned us about Gus. The Franciscans exposed our children to danger. I do not know if Gus touched someone inappropriately during his time here. If he did, those victims may never want to be identified. It could be any of our children that are ashamed and afraid to come forward. Choosing not to tell thou

6/20/2018 09:43:02 am

I ran out of space...Choosing not to tell thousands of parish families the truth about what happened with Gus is the same as lying to us.
Then they sent Gus to you at Ascension Church in Portland. They lied to you too by not warning your parish either. They didn’t just transfer him, they actually gave him a promotion to be your pastor. That is a lot of power for someone that they already had to pay out a settlement for. Maybe he did something inappropriate the years he was in Oregon. Let other SSJ and Ascension parishioners know about this website because they might want a safe place to tell their story and get it off their chest.
I remember right after the news about Gus hit here, contributions were down. During a homily back then, I heard Father Alex Manville promise that none of our donations would be used to pay for this. How naiive we all were. I saw this article that says the Franciscans already paid out $28.6 million as of 2012. It is probably more now. Where else would this money have come from?
www.ocregister.com/articles/documents-355504-krumm-church.html
Someone posted these on another site. Here is a letter you can use to report Father Daniel. Use the printer friendly version:
http://parishhope.com/healing/articles/OpenLetter.shtml
This says Canon Law gives us the right to speak up against any form of abuse and expect justice. You can print the word document:
http://parishhope.com/healing/articles/CanonLaws.shtml
Father Gus and now Father Daniel have been enabled through silence. No more silence or fear with any priest. SSJ parishioners, volunteers and staff, please don’t enable Father Daniel by staying silent about what is not right. Does anyone else know about the affair Heather Blake reported Father Daniel is having with a school mom? Or the money someone said that he took for his trips? If you do please come forward. We understand if you want to stay anonymous using this site to communicate.

6/20/2018 06:25:02 pm

Thank you for your support.

B.B

6/20/2018 02:48:08 pm

Omg I came across this page while googling fr Daniel (one of the moms at SSJ told me to google him when I told him I am getting bad vibes from this man) and all I can say is that I am not totally shocked by what I am reading about him. I knew all along that he had issues. His homilies are pretty bizarre and he is such a show off. I put my kids at SSJ because of the principal. I met with her before applying and she is a very well put together woman and I was under the impression that she was the one in charge not him. However, he got rid of her this year and we all feel bad and unhappy with his decision, some parents had already left the school and others are on their way to leave. This mad man is a disaster. He somehow manages to ruin every single place he’s been too and the diocese are allowing him to get away with all of this.

Rachel chu

6/20/2018 03:52:38 pm

Really ?! He fired Mrs Pinkofsky?! I love her so much :( I never cared for him though. He is creepy for sure.

Sandi

6/22/2018 06:43:08 am

Yes Rachel he sadly got rid of our last ray of hope the school’s principal Mrs Pinkofsky. He also fired Coach Smith who used to help big time with safety issues. I also, as B.B commented above, had put my kids in this school after meeting with the principal. I was skeptical after reading about him on the internet but I decided to give it try when I met with the faculty and the principal. Now half of them are gone. This father Daniel is a scourge.

Simon & Jude Parishioner

6/22/2018 11:41:58 am

I don't like him either. I have been a Catholic a long time but this man has really tested my faith. I have never seen any priest anywhere ever described like him on this and the other web pages: a scourge, creepy, a disaster, having an affair, a thief, a hypocrite, someone who causes fear, a horrible man, a Father with sexual energy (sounds like an oxymoron), a troubled priest, crazy, nuts, unstable, a bully, unfit for the job, vindictive, judgmental, manipulative, not normal, has serious mental issues, has destroyed our community, requires professional care, dictatorial, capricious, has behavior that is the parish’s dirty little secret, insensitive, dismissive, angry, divides parishioners, not very well liked, has contempt for others, causes emotional harm, turned our community into a prison, gives the cold shoulder, shameful leadership, has major issues, verbally abusive, has abysmal behavior, has blurred sexual boundaries, made it okay to discuss sexual energy with children and teens, “blesses” his sexual energy with oils, and to summarize it all - a nightmare.

I have another word for him: salesman. I think he has kept his job for so long because of all the money he got out of us so far. If you want him gone, its so simple. Just stop donating like someone wrote the people in LA did.

He is still trying to collect for the parking lot. Great Grandpa said that work cost $3.2 million. I know Fr put us in debt for $1.8 million of that total and we are still trying to pay it off. The Franciscans talk about social justice but it looks like they use most of our money for construction and settling abuse claims with $28.6 million. When I look back at the photos of the old parking lot on SSJ’s Yelp page I do not see a big difference. The cost of the new parking lot should have been used to help poor families and their children. That’s social justice. That would have made a big difference.

suzie b

6/22/2018 08:40:06 pm

OMG! literally. it is nice to see a forum for people to be able to talk about the mess father daniel leaves behind. you missed a word that i also think describes him…racist. he fires our african american principal in a very white parish!? dumb move. she was a principal all these years and now suddenly she does not know how to do her job? this is a church what would jesus do? he would not fire her. i bet she has already talked to a lawyer. get ready to spend a bunch more $ everybody.

Tia Thompson

6/23/2018 06:15:31 am

Suzie b. The principal is not African American I believe she is Latino. She has this exotic look that people sometimes think she’s mixed but I was told she’s pure Latino.

Frank

6/24/2018 06:41:27 am

“Exotic” is a perfect word to describe Crystal. She is one hot mama for sure. I don’t mean to divert attention from the main topic. I hate Daniel Barica as well. In fact, I stopped going to church because of him, but I was actually thinking maybe he wanted to have his way with her and when she turned him down he fired her. You never know, this man is wicked. I would expect anything from him.

Mrs. C.

6/23/2018 06:09:34 am

I have been silently following this post for a while and I wasn’t planning to comment until now. I work at the parish office and I assure you all that Daniel Barica is hated beyond words. We received a lot of phone calls from angry parents after he fired Crystal and we were afraid to tell him about any of them because we knew he will get mad and take it out on us. He is simply a dictator who does not and will not accept any kind of criticism. He also overreacts and is super irresponsible. I can’t share any more stories about him because he might know who I am and fire me as well. He also does not care about people’s feelings and is very rude to the extent of making fun of the teachers in front of the parish staff. We have literally heard him make fun of people’s weight, how they dress and the fact that they are not real Catholics (according to him of course). All I want to say is that letting Crystal go was a big deal and the parents are worried and mad about it. This woman was such a hard worker, dedicated and loved by all of us in the parish and at school. She was more than a principal to her students who looked up to her and considerd her their role model. This friar needs to leave before he causes any more harm and hurt more people.

6/23/2018 06:43:31 am

I forgot to add something. Regarding the affair he’s having with a school mom. I believe it’s true. The woman’s name starts with an “M” she is a school mom and is involved with the school board. This woman visits him constantly at the parish office and sometimes they walk out together. She brags about their relationship and is proud of it. We all have a strong feeling that something really bad is about to happen to him because of her. She is a major disaster just like him.

6/23/2018 10:17:14 am

Thank you Mrs C. for being brave and saying something. Not originally planning to comment and remain silent would have continued to enable Father Daniel. Parish staff really has the power to stop him by reporting harassment in the workplace. The idea that he controls you with any fear, especially fear of getting fired causes emotional abuse and has no place in any work environment especially a church. Fear of retaliation if you report him is a big part of what #Me too is all about. The idea that this fear would come from a priest is so much worse than any public figure. He is supposed to be an example to us, not a dictator as you say.
I know we all loved Father Dan when he was here, but he has known about the terror Father Daniel has caused for a long, long time and it is upsetting that he did nothing. As a Definitor, Father Dan is one of Father Daniel’s bosses and he is just as liable for your fear and emotional abuse every day he chooses to not stop him. It is basically the same as if Father Dan was the abuser because he has allowed this culture. This is not acceptable and he needs to publicly apologize to you and all of us. The SSJ volunteer said they should offer counseling. Father Dan should have a counselor at the parish office for staff and volunteers to talk to first thing Monday morning. If this was a corporate situation, a boss who knows about abusive behavior and does nothing puts his company at great risk. Father Dan is putting SSJ and all of us at great risk every day he continues to ignore our cries for help.
Like Virginia said, you need to complain as a group so no one on staff is singled out and fired. The mens club guy gave Father Dan Lackie’s email already, dlackie@sbofm.org Everyone put it in writing because he can’t deny you complained about him. I used the confession privilege. That must protect you from retaliation or else they really are exposing themselves to more liability for wrongful termination. No one on staff or volunteers or school families or parishioners can stay silent anymore unless you want to be another enabler and watch more children leave. It’s OK for everyone to say how you feel anonymously on this thread, especially if you know about his affair or missing money. Staying silent and praying for lightning to strike him will not work. God does not want someone abusive leading his church. God works through people so every one affected by his wrath please do your part and say something publicly here and privately by email to Father Dan Lackie to help stop him. This includes the people of Los Angeles and Santa Barbara. Please ask anyone you know in those parishes for help, no matter how long ago they were hurt.

John C

6/23/2018 12:13:37 pm

Fr Dan and anyone protecting and enabling this so called pastor of ours must resign immediately. If we do not get them to do this the Catholic guilt should because they will have to live with what this Barica clown did to our church and our children for the rest of their lives. I think the message is pretty clear about staying silent in these articles.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4957586/Anthony-Bourdain-attacks-Hollywood-silence-Weinstein.html
https://nypost.com/2018/01/21/its-time-to-go-after-abuse-enablers/

6/23/2018 03:08:15 pm

I emailed father Dan three days ago but haven’t heard back from him yet and with all honesty I don’t feel like he will ever respond. It is sad to say that but Franciscans are like the mafia. They cover up for each other.

6/23/2018 07:05:56 pm

Not replying to your email is not being honest with you. Maybe you should print what you sent him here so we can see it and Fr Dan can't cover this up anymore. I agree with the other person, this pastor really is a salesman and a fake. I actually heard someone call him a b*stard and someone else call him a d*ck so add those names to the list. I am upset that my grandkids don't want to come here anymore because of him. Once they stop coming it is hard to get them back so I might have to live with that for the rest of my life. A Franciscan boss can't stay silent and cover up for a priest so terrible. He owes you some kind of answer. No one is going to respect Fr Dan or Daniel after all this so they both should resign before the guilt of what they have done to SSJ gets to them. Jesus can't be very happy with them right now.

6/23/2018 09:03:58 pm

John C. Here is what I said to Father Dan via email:

Dear father Dan,

I am a mom at Sts Simon and Jude school. I’ve never met you before but I heard many good things about you. We have been struggling with father Daniel Barica and our community is suffering big time. He fired Mrs. Pinkofsky our principal who had been there for over 21 years and who was loved by all of us. He also fired our coach Mr Smith and other faculty members. He is destroying the school and dividing the community. The staff are all scared of him. We the parents tried to talk to him but he was so rude and disrespectful. It is too much and we can’t take it anymore. I was wondering if you could come back. I don’t know how easy it is for friars to transfer in between parishes but we need you back for sure. Please keep this conversation confidential. I got your email from a page called “room with a pew” this page talks about what’s going on at SSJ. Please read the comments and please try to do something. I will pray for a miracle and I believe that God will not let us suffer any longer. Thank you father and please don’t ignore my plea.

Nikky

6/24/2018 01:43:19 pm

Fr Dan and Fr Rusty both saw the letter from this website so they can’t try to say they did not know anything. There were other complaints about Fr Daniel to both of them. We are good friends with a family whose 80+ year old mother was on hospice care in 2014. They told Fr Dan that one of her dying wishes was that Fr Daniel would not be allowed to be at her funeral because of how he treated people. This request came from a mother who was very holy and loving, yet she felt so strongly about not wanting him near her even after her death. I also complained to Fr Rusty about Fr Daniel back to 2013. I remember his reply to this day “If you think that is bad imagine having to live with him.” So they both knew that many years ago and kept quiet. Did anyone else complain to a priest, bishop or parish employee? The more I think about it the more upset all this makes me. A lot of damage could have been avoided if someone did something. John is right anyone that kept quiet and did not put a stop to this has to resign.

Phil

6/25/2018 11:00:46 am

In 2013 I complained to all 3 priests individually. I expected contrite & humble replies to my complaints like a priest should. After their responses, I stopped donating and attending SSJ. I looked back on my records and saw that I contributed as much as $10,000 per year. I wrote down what they said because it surprised me and I thought I should remember each one in case anyone asked why my checks stopped. (Strange that no one ever did.) Here were their responses:
I told Fr. Daniel that our church has gotten along fine before he arrived and to let people be and not tell them what to do so much. I said some of my friends were not donating anymore because of him. He told me people who do not contribute can go somewhere else.
I told Fr. Rusty people were not happy with Fr. Daniel. He said people who do not like Fr. Daniel can go somewhere else.
I told Fr. Dan people were not happy with Fr. Daniel and he should talk to others so he hears it directly from them to understand how they feel. He told me he will not do that because the parish is not his responsibility. He then told me to go somewhere else if I felt bad too. I said priests spend their entire life trying to build the faith so why tell me to leave instead of making things better?
For those of you Fr. Dan said is not his responsibility, how does that make you feel? What would you have said to him if he did reach out to you back in 2013 like I asked him to? You now have a chance to write here what you would have told him. Diane’s email asks him to read these comments and do something. Maybe if enough of us comment, he will do something. I agree that any priest who should stop this but does not has to step down.

6/25/2018 02:04:16 pm

I think we should send a letter to the pope himself. Those Franciscans are a bunch of hypocrites and I am about to lose my faith because of them. They will ruin Sts Simon and Jude’s reputation. It’s simply not right.

Sts. Simon and Jude Mom

6/25/2018 05:24:58 pm

Wow, there is too much information in here. I’ve been reading all the comments and I got to admit that it’s overwhelming but at the same time I am glad there are other people who feel the same way as I do. First of all I hate father Daniel. Second, my son is in second grade with this lady’s son (the one who everyone says is having an affair with him) and let me tell you that this woman is very unpleasant and I personally heard her complaining about the the principal to other moms right before Daniel fired her. She constantly reminds us as well that she is friends with him whether directly or indirectly. It’s not nice to say that but she is a manly woman which to me is a quality that Daniel would probably like (if you know what I mean). In brief, the rumors are most likely true and unless people stop donating nothing will happen. Once again I am glad to find this forum and I salute everyone of you for sharing your thoughts.

SSJ dad

6/25/2018 06:52:02 pm

I guess the word is spreading about this forum because I got alerted. I will let people know about this so the Franciscans can hear our voices. I applaud everyone with the guts to talk about what has always been the white elephant in the room named Daniel. I like being anonymous because I know others that have been shut up by his defenders. Hate is such a strong word that I have seen several times in this thread but it seems proper given all he has done to our church.

I always thought he needed anger management training but after hearing him called a narcissist by a colleague, I think he also needs psychotherapy.

Please tell us if you view him as a narcissist too. This safenet website already asked the Franciscans to “relieve him of his pastoral duties and help him obtain the appropriate professional care he requires”. A priest with a mental condition must be relieved now before he can do any further damage.

Here is an overview on the Mayo Clinic’s website
Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy (psychotherapy).

Here is another description from psychologytoday.com
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Individuals with this disorder exhibit a lack of ability to empathize with others and an inflated sense of self-importance.
Definition
The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. They may also concentrate on grandiose fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. These characteristics typically begin in early adulthood and must be consistently evident in multiple contexts, such as at work and in relationships.
People with narcissistic personality disorder believe they are superior or special, and often try to associate with other people they believe are unique or gifted in some way. This association enhances their self-esteem, which is typically quite fragile underneath the surface. Individuals with NPD seek excessive admiration and attention in order to know that others think highly of them. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat, and may be left feeling humiliated or empty when they experience an "injury" in the form of criticism or rejection.
Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, Paranoid.
Symptoms
Narcissistic personality disorder is indicated by five or more of the following symptoms:
-Exaggerates own importance
-Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance
-Believes he or she is special and can only be understood by other special people or institutions
-Requires constant attention and admiration from others
-Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
-Takes advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
-Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
-Is often envious of others or believes other people are envious of him or her
-Shows arrogant behaviors and attitudes
50 to 75 percent of the people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are male. Additionally, it is common for many adolescents to display the characteristics listed above; this does not indicate that they will later develop narcissistic personality disorder.
Causes
Causes of narcissistic personality disorder are not yet well-understood. Genetic and biological factors as well as environment and early life experiences are all thought to play a role in the development of this condition.
Treatments
Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder can be challenging because people with this condition present with a great deal of grandiosity and defensiveness, which makes it difficult for them to acknowledge problems and vulnerabilities. Individual and group psychotherapy may be useful in helping people with narcissistic personality disorder relate to others in a healthier and more compassionate way. Mentalization-based therapy, transference-focused psychotherapy, and schema-focused ps

6/26/2018 12:05:12 pm

Interesting, I think a lot of what this says fits him and his mental state including the part about being manipulative and demanding. I hope the church does a psychological test to be sure. Diane B, did Fr Dan ever respond to your email? If not please ask again. Ignoring your plea is not being honest with you and is the same as enabling Fr Daniel and his mental condition. Enablers must be held accountable too.

6/26/2018 06:29:57 pm

Nope father Dan never responded. Let’s face it they don’t care and won’t care as long as they are getting our money. We need to stop donating to Sts Simon and Jude, period

LuLu

6/27/2018 06:53:39 am

O boy! I knew this was coming. Father Daniel if you’re reading this please have some self respect and just leave. You ruined our school and we want you out of here ASAP.

Pat

6/27/2018 09:10:36 am

I am so glad to finally be reading a lot of what I have been thinking! My input…how can father Daniel look us in the eye after mass without wondering who mocks him behind his back. He should be embarrassed. Narcissist fits him but he won’t acknowledge a mental problem. He will keep fighting and make a mockery of all the Franciscans protecting him. I cannot believe father Dan has not ordered an intervention yet. Father Dan, tell us the truth about what is going on. Stop protecting him or quit like father Michael did. God is watching how you handle this…save your job and your place in heaven. Fix our parish and answer Diane’s email for Christ’s sake…and yours.

6/27/2018 09:26:57 am

Guys, speaking from experience, the Franciscans and the Catholic Church won't listen to you if you speak to them alone or one by one. They will ignore you, maybe with a nice flowery letter in churchy language. If you persist, they will steam roll over you. Form a group, the larger the better. Remember they have a declining number of priests. The whole church leadership is afraid to make the needed changes. In part they don't know what to do about a problem that will require systemic and cultural changes.

D.D

6/27/2018 01:55:38 pm

Well, I gotta say that this will probably be my 3rd or 4th comment on a post in the internet throughout my whole life but I am doing for the sake of our SSJ’s magnificent principal Mrs Pinkofsky. If life was fair this woman would’ve still been our principal and Daniel would’ve been long gone but sadly life isn’t fair and our school had lost a beautiful person whose knowledge, manners, sense of humor, spirit, and personality helped build up this community in a unique way where all of us were getting along like one big family until this monster showed up. All I can say is that no one is happy at SSJ. we are all angry and worried about next year. It’s sad to see such a great community falling apart because of a nut job who has no control over his actions.

Scott

6/27/2018 08:38:04 pm

I got a heads up about this site from a friend. I think nut job and narcissist both fit him. Maybe adulterer too. I googled him and saw the worthy adversary and got ahold of her. She told me she is following the latest comments about SSJ. To help us she needs people to contact her directly at joelle@casteix.com She won’t reveal who you are but she will be our adversary. Anyone can ask her for help, including Heather Blake who wrote about his affair, Mrs C the parish employee who wrote about how he is so hated and Diane B who emailed Fr Dan Lackie but never got an answer. When you email her please give her your phone number too so she can talk to you.
Pat wrote earlier about Fr Daniel having to look people in the eye here after church. I have some friends in Santa Barbara who told me word about SSJ is spreading. Fr Dan should be worrying about what people up there think about him when he looks them in the eye.

6/28/2018 05:48:23 pm

This is great. Thank you!

6/28/2018 06:09:02 pm

Will email her soon, thank you.

SSJ Student

6/29/2018 05:53:22 am

Hello everyone, I am a student at SSJ and I accidentally came across this page. To be honest with you I was surprised to read many of the comments. I am still in shock about what’s going on at our school. Mrs. Pinkofsky was my hero and always will be. She is very caring and understanding. We had a vaporing incident at our school last year and some students got suspended and they were searching our bags and lockers and throughout the whole thing she was still supportive and encouraging. This woman never stops working. We used to see her leaving late at 4 o’clock while we’re playing basketball after school. She would leave quietly through the school’s back door so no one can see her. She doesn’t like to draw attention to herself. She works hard without anyone noticing because this is who she is. I never knew that father Daniel was the one who let her go. We were told she left because she wants to take care of her mom. Now I am more sad and in shock. Father Daniel is a horrible man. I will never forgive him for what he did. He took away my second mother.

6/29/2018 11:21:25 am

I am sorry you have been subjected to him. There are two avenues for you and your classmates.
1) Ask your parents to stop donating and transfer you to Moffet or Sowers like a lot of other SSJ families have already done. Those are highly rated schools with accredited teachers. (SSJ does not have to hire teachers like this.)
or
2) Fight back like people have done in the movement against other public figures. If you do not stop him, he will continue to abuse his authority and eventually destroy what is left of SSJ. You are the future of this church so the Franciscans and the bishop will pay attention to you more than anyone else. Like Virgina said, do something as a group. Tell everyone at SSJ to post something here. Anonymous is fine, the more the better. Ask Fr Dan Lackie for help in your comment because Diane’s email to him already told him to read this website. Then everyone can also email what they posted to joelle@casteix.com so she can help us too. Joelle will do her best to expose this wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Amy

6/30/2018 03:32:29 pm

Wow ! This is a good place for SSJ parishioners to vent their anger and frustration with this so called Daniel Barica. This man has major issues. We are all aware of his suspicious relationship with Mrs. M.M. To me this lady is a femme fatale. I don’t go to mass there anymore but my grandkids still go to school. Will wait and see. He caused so many problems to so many people but he forgot that God is watching.

Michael

7/2/2018 07:53:27 am

Yeah thanks for this because this priest is such a fake. My kids did not want to go to SSJ any longer. College and housing costs way more these days so he did me a favor chasing us away and everything I saved went to their college fund. I really hope someone in the church office tells us what happened to the money people give on Sundays and if Father Dan is doing something about the affair with school mom Mary from 2nd grade.

SSJ Mom and Parishoner

7/3/2018 03:10:33 pm

I had been planning to comment for a while but I had nothing else to say after all that had been said. I was super skeptical about putting my kids in SSJ until I met Mrs. Pinkofsky. This woman is so amazing and gives the best speeches ever. she really made me feel comfortable just by knowing that she was in charge of my kids school. I was super excited and happy with the whole community until we received Daniel’s devastating email saying that she is leaving. This email turned my life upside down and I knew the school was going downhill but little did I know that she wasn’t going to be the only one to leave. A bunch of awesome faculty members had left as well because of him. I am not sure how much worse does it have to get before the diocese does something. This is not the same community. Daniel and his BFF M. have destroyed what once was a loving community and they spread their hatred among us. Now people are divided. Some are trying to go with the flow, others left, and the rest are not sure what to do. Daniel is our Judas. He is the wolf in sheep’s clothes as for his buddy M. we all hate her guts but some are too afraid to show it while others treat her like the scum she is.

Proud to be a Catholic

7/5/2018 07:33:40 am

While glancing through the comments on this page I remembered Jesus’s words on the cross when he said: “"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” But in our case Father Daniel did know what he was doing and yet he still did it so to me this man deserves no forgiveness. As mentioned above by one of you “what goes around comes around” it’s called “Karma”

Embarrassed to be Catholic

7/10/2018 12:22:07 pm

I complained to the bishop several times and no one got back to me. Something is going on. I can only figure Father Daniel has pictures or info the bishop and the Franciscans don’t want him to go public. We should all be embarrassed as Catholics by how they are handling this freak.

Proud to be Catholic

7/10/2018 06:11:52 pm

Catholicism has nothing to do with these nasty priests actions. They are simply not following the teachings of the bible which was actually mentioned by Jesus when he spoke about false prophets and fake monks who pretend to be following God's teachings while in reality they are doing the opposite. Those Franciscans are a disgrace to Catholicism but they won't weaken my faith.

7/5/2018 09:50:20 pm

Karma or praying for something to happen in the future is not going to save SSJ today. It is up to us. But don’t think enough has been said because if it was, Fr Daniel would not be here anymore. Diane B, did Fr Dan Lackie still not respond? He never answered me and others I know asking for his help. He has to do something about all these comments or else question his own priesthood. The SSJ mom telling us about all the faculty members that left should be another red flag. Actually not responding is a way to bully us and make us want to give up - like how a bully tells his friends to ignore a classmate that reports him. The student’s words a few days ago calling Fr Daniel a horrible man should be all it takes to put Fr Dan over the edge. Real priests would never ignore him or her. AF said it, doing nothing is the same as if Fr Dan was the one. Now he has 3 choices, continue to ignore us and deal with the Catholic guilt and his standing with God, answer our call for help, or resign from priesthood just like Fr Michael Harvey.

7/5/2018 11:42:40 pm

No John C. No response from Father Dan. I also never knew that Father Michael resigned I wonder why ? He was a great Friar.

Sam

7/12/2018 08:05:33 am

I just saw your question. I think Michael quit because it got too hard for him to deal with being gay and a priest. According to the Catholic church, anyone living a gay lifestyle is committing a mortal sin which leads to hell. I don’t agree with this but if a man chooses to be a priest he has to follow the rules and not have sex with the other guys he lives with. A priest who can’t resist needs to end the hypocrisy and enter another line of work like Michael did.

SSJ

7/12/2018 08:58:07 am

Sam,l and John C., Can you please stop spreading rumors. Father Michael did not resign he moved to Portland and is still a priest. He also is not gay. Not sure where you came up with this information but it’s all false and it doesn’t help us to get rid of Daniel Barica because if people from the diocese read all these rumors they won’t take us seriously, can we please focus on Daniel Barica our main problem

SSJ all the way

7/6/2018 01:00:54 am

I was wondering if we all start commenting on the Diocese’s Facebook Page. They will definitely delete the comments but at least they’ll get the message.

7/12/2018 03:31:28 pm

No rumors. I personally know Michael is gay. Ask him yourself on LinkedIn. www.linkedin.com/in/mlharvey/ It’s OK as long as he is not a priest because the church does not officially accept LGBTQ members. Mr. Harvey was a chaplain, not a priest at a couple of hospitals in Oregon. No more OFM after his name. Now his current job on LinkedIn does not even list him as a chaplain anymore. But you are right this is about Daniel and what I read all over the internet the diocese has to take this very seriously. I just answered Diane’s question about Michael.

T.G.

7/6/2018 10:59:41 am

So glad to see all this! Father Dan not responding is not right. I read back to the beginning of this so I want to know what’s the deal with Mark Purcell knowing about money taken? People are not sure about Mark like maybe he is helping Father Daniel because they have something going on the side between them. Why else would he stay so quiet with employees who hate Father Daniel and everything crashing down around both of them? He needs to tell us yes or no if Daniel stole money period. If the answer is no fine tell us. No answer can only mean guilty. No answer and Mark has to leave too.

7/13/2018 07:09:45 am

If you really want to get their attention start leaving reviews and comments on SSJ and the diocese of OC Facebook pages.

Ms. V.

7/13/2018 12:38:38 pm

I just saw this on a new SafeNet article called Don't Show Them the Money. Some excerpts:
"Last month a parishioner alleged to be romantically involved with troubled pastor Daniel Barica of Saints Simon and Jude (SSJ) Catholic church in Huntington Beach was identified by name in a comment left on this site."
"This scandal touches everyone. Dan Lackie, the above-mentioned new pastor, has become a sad victim of his own misguided loyalty. Coming from SSJ where he was admired for years, Lackie ended up breaking the hearts of many parishioners when he failed to condemn Barica’s behavior and provide pastoral care for those who had been harmed. By siding with his fraternity instead of the people his fraternity was pledged to serve, he got it backwards."
"For their part, the Franciscans and the Diocese of Orange are doing nothing to allay anyone’s fears and suspicions. On the contrary, they appear to be doing everything they can to confirm them. In Barica’s case, they are actually enforcing a zero tolerance policy for reporting abuse. There’s no other way to explain their silence in the face of years of complaints. And just to be absolutely clear: what Barica is doing at SSJ may not constitute sexual abuse, but make no mistake about it: it is abuse. What’s more, it’s a violation of the church’s own vow to protect its community from those who prey on the innocent."

7/14/2018 04:02:07 pm

Check out the new blog talking about Daniel Barica at https://roomwithapew.weebly.com/
and start commenting

7/15/2018 03:01:06 pm

IMPORTANT NOTE:

Every Catholic diocese in the country has established an outreach office of Victim Assistance Coordinators.

Concerned SSJ parishioners should contact the Victim Assistance Coordinator (VAC) for the Diocese of Orange, Sylvia Palda, LMFT,

Ms. Palda should be made aware of what Barica is doing.

SSJ is a parish where a former priest (Gus Krumm) sexually abused minors. The current problems with Barica at SSJ stem from these past abuses and fall within the VAC's purview.

Ms. Palda is mandated and obligated to help those who have been traumatized by the clergy abuse scandal--including secondary survivors (family members, schoolmates, parishioners, etc.).

Identities are kept strictly confidential--a standard operating procedure for all Victim Assistance Coordinators.

Contact:

Sylvia Palda, LMFT
Victim Assistance Coordinator (VAC)
Diocese of Orange
949-244-5781
palda.sylvia@gmail.com

7/15/2018 03:27:35 pm

Here's a contact list for the Orange County Register.

For those interested, I suggest you get in touch with as many sources as you can at this local newspaper and let them know your thoughts about what's been happening at SSJ. .

I've also included this contact list under a "new" comment under my latest blog post "Don't Show Them The Money" for the benefit of those following this story.

THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER (OCR)

Reporter / Covering Huntington Beach:

Susan Goulding
714-796-6766
sgoulding@scng.com

Editors / Crime and Public Safety:

Mark Evans, 714-796-4957, markevans@scng.com
Steve Green, 714-796-7714, stgreen@scng.com
Jim Radcliffe, 714-796-7985, jradcliffe@scng.com

Reporters / Crime and Public Safety:

Sean Emery, 714-642-6487, semery@scng.com,
Twitter: @semeryOCR
Alma Fausto, 714-796-7865, afausto@scng.com,
Twitter: @AlmaFausto1

Edior / Watchdog Investigations & Reporting
on Public Officials and Institutions:

Frank Suraci, 310-543-6621, fsuraci@scng.com

Reporters / Watchdog Investigations & Reporting
on Public Officials and Institutions:

Jason Henry, 626-544-0871, jhenry@scng.com
Joe Nelson, 909-386-3874, jnelson@scng.com
Tony Saavedra, 714-796-6930, tsaavedra@scng.com
Scott Schwebke, 714-796-7767, sschwebke@scng.com
Teri Sforza, 714-796-6910, tsforza@scng.com
Beau Yarbrough, 909-483-9376 byarbrough@scng.com

SSJ Dolphin

7/17/2018 06:03:41 pm

I came across this blog while googling Mrs Pinkofsky’s name to check where she ended up going. I would like to add that she wasn’t just our principal, she was also our school mom. Parents don’t know the real Mrs Pinkofsky like we do. Most parents think that she is a quiet woman who barely interacts with others but the truth is she is very funny and humble and she talks to us the students all the time. We will miss her so much for sure, as for father Daniel I used to think he was cool until I heard him making fun of one of the teachers to my dad when my dad was asking him about all of the changes that the school is going through. I literally lost all respect for this man who calls himself holy.

7/18/2018 12:41:56 am

Hi Dolphin,
Making fun of someone is what bullies and jerks do. Not priests. If you did this you would get a detention or suspension. He is supposed to be an example to you and follow the rules. Some of the comments say the church has known about complaints about him back to when he was in Santa Barbara and Los Angeles. Moving him here after those parishioners got upset is not OK.
Be sure to post something on this other more recent blog too: https://roomwithapew.weebly.com/blog/dont-show-them-the-money
You Dolphins need to stick together because you are SSJ’s future (if there still is one). Please send the above link to as many kids as possible and ask them to post their feelings on that blog too. Do not use your real names or Fr Daniel might retaliate against you like he did with other people. Fr Dan Lackie and Bishop Vann will see what you post so this is your chance to let them know how you feel. Write anything a priest should not do like yelling, being angry, impatient, abusive, or any inappropriate comments.
Be sure everyone also knows to copy and paste their comments to The Worthy Adversary: joelle@casteix.com She was the victim of an abuser. She needs to read it directly from the students so she can file a report on everyone’s behalf as the school’s adversary. She will not identify you or anyone and keep you safe from his anger.
Keep the comments on the blog and to Joelle coming as many as possible. That is how the church will finally realize the extent of the damage Fr Daniel has done at SSJ.
Fr Daniel has gotten away with everything for years because he knows that most people are afraid to stand up to a priest. And most Catholics are conditioned to keep quiet about problems. We are taught to not say anything unless it is something good. That is how
this "priest" continues to get away with emotionally hurting people. A holy man should never take advantage of people who remain silent.